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🍊🍋Wen Chao and/or wen xu is a good guy and actually wants to end wen ruo jan's reign of terror (cloud recesses, lotus pier, xuanwu cave or all are elaborate ruses)
ao3
Untamed
“A-Chao,” Wen Xu said. “I think our father is insane.”
Wen Chao’s eye twitched visibly, his shoulders rising up to his ears. “You can’t say that! That’s treason!”
“I’ve already made sure there’s no one anywhere around us right now, not even people I trust.”
Down went the shoulders.
“Of course he’s insane,” Wen Chao said. “Some of his orders recently…”
He shook his head.
“Not much of an empire to rule if they’re all ghost puppets, is there?” he concluded. “I think the Yin Metal is poisoning his brain.”
“I agree,” Wen Xu said. “Now what do we do about it? He’s just ordered me to raze the Cloud Recesses.”
“…when you say raze –”
“To the ground.”
“What happened to just dominating the rest of the cultivation world?” Wen Chao complained. “I liked that plan. I was going to have a really great life. A palace. Servants. Good food. Even better wine. Enough clothing to keep Jiaojiao from complaining.”
“I…don’t know if that’s possible,” Wen Xu said. “Haven’t you given her three closets’ worth already?”
“I have no idea, and I’m too attached to my balls to ask.”
“Anyway,” Wen Xu said. “What do we do about it?”
“You’re asking me?” Wen Chao said.
“Well I’m certainly not going up against him by myself! He’ll kill me!”
“You think he would hesitate to kill both of us?”
“Ugh. Is there anyone we can ask for help? Anyone we haven’t pissed off?”
They both paused, thinking.
“…no,” Wen Chao said. “But in our defense, we never thought we’d need any of them, did we?”
“I don’t think anyone is going to buy that as an excuse,” Wen Xu said, scowling. “Fuck. Isn’t there anyone?”
“Well,” Wen Chao said. He did not continue.
“No,” Wen Xu said. “No. He literally wants to cut off our heads.”
“So does everyone else in the cultivation world,” Wen Chao said. “At least we know Sect Leader Nie hates Dad more than he hates us, which isn’t something that can be said about the rest of them.”
“Fuck,” Wen Xu said. “What’s our alternative plan?”
“…become ghost puppets?”
“Fuck.”
-
“You do remember that I want to kill you both?” Nie Mingjue said, scowling at them.
“We were betting on you wanting to kill our father more,” Wen Chao said.
“I’m not sure,” Nie Mingjue said. “You’re very obnoxious.”
Wen Chao scowled.
“He has a point, A-Chao,” Wen Xu said.
“Shut up.”
“Respect your elders!”
“If you two are going to start fighting, I’m leaving,” Nie Mingjue said.
They both squinted at him. “Does that mean you might not leave if we stop?” Wen Xu asked.
Nie Mingjue’s scowl got even worse, but eventually he begrudgingly said “…well, I really hate your father.”
They both exhaled in relief.
“What’s your plan?” Nie Mingjue asked.
“This was about as far as it went,” Wen Xu admitted, and Nie Mingjue gaped at him. “What? If we had planning skills, we’d be ruling the world.”
“Jiaojiao wants jewelry now,” Wen Chao agreed. “Lots of it. Keeping a mistress is expensive.”
“I’ll…take your word for that,” Nie Mingjue said, looking mildly uncomfortable.
“You’re always plotting against our father, right?” Wen Xu asked.
“No,” Nie Mingjue said. “If I could plot, your father would already be dead.”
“Good point,” Wen Chao said, but he wasn’t the sort of person to let little details like that discourage him. “But surely you know someone who can?”
“Just keep in mind that I’m on a deadline here,” Wen Xu said. “I have to leave to go raze the Cloud Recesses by the end of the week.”
“You want me to come up with a plan to defeat your father before the end of the week?!”
“Uh, yeah,” Wen Xu said. “That’s what I said, wasn’t it?”
“It was,” Wen Chao agreed.
“I’m going to go get Meng Yao,” Nie Mingjue decided. “And Huaisang, too, why not, somehow he always gets his way no matter what I do. Maybe he can come up with something for this.”
-
“I think we’re going to need expert assistance,” Nie Huaisang declared. “I’m thinking this is Wei Wuxian levels of plotting.”
“He can plot?” Wen Chao said dubiously. “Are you sure? He took nearly a week to fight a mildly ominous bird.”
“…is that so?” Nie Huaisang said, and sighed. “Okay, fine. Meng Yao, guess it’s up to you and me.”
Meng Yao was blinking his eyes very rapidly.
“What?” Wen Chao said. “You have an awful father too, don’t look so shocked about us wanting to get rid of ours.”
“That’s just how his brain works when he’s thinking,” Nie Huaisang assured him. “He’s kicking it like it’s a sleeping donkey that doesn’t want to get to work; give him a minute and he’ll be coming up with all sorts of ideas.”
“Good ideas?”
“All sorts of ideas.”
“…any good ideas? Mediocre ideas, even?”
“Listen, we have until the end of the week,” Nie Mingjue said irritably. “You’ll take whatever ideas we give you and you’ll like it, you hear me?”
“Is it too late to get Wen Zhuliu in on this?” Wen Xu asked Wen Chao.
“He has that weird thing for Dad,” Wen Chao reminded him.
“Fuck,” Wen Xu said. “I’d wiped that from my memory through the application of a great deal of alcohol, but yes, you’re right. Okay. Hit me with your worst plan.”
-
“That’s worse than I thought it was going to be.”
“Shut up and just do it.”
-
“I will now, in the name of the Wen sect, attack –” Wen Xu grimaced. “– this cave.”
“It’s a very important cave, actually,” one of the Lan disciples muttered.
“Be quiet,” Lan Wangji said.
They were all pretending not to notice the main force of Lan sect disciples, led by Lan Xichen, carting their precious books and treasures out of the Cloud Recesses right behind him.
“I am attacking this very important cave,” Wen Xu clarified. “Of extreme importance to the Lan sect. So important, in fact, that it is clearly the correct target for an invasion.”
They stood around a while longer.
Someone cleared their throat. “Should we fight?”
“I can have my men beat you up if you really want,” Wen Xu said.
“…no thanks.”
“Then be quiet.”
There was a bit more standing around. Eventually Lan Qiren coughed.
“Would you like a chair or something?” Wen Xu asked, then frowned. “Never mind, I probably can’t justify that.”
“Probably not,” Lan Qiren agreed. He looked pained. Probably by the whole situation, but who knew, maybe he just had a bad back and the standing around was getting to him. “You will be taking Wangji hostage after this?”
“Along with most of the heirs of the Great Sects,” Wen Xu said. “As agreed, we’ll keep them out of the way.”
“Sometimes the most dangerous place is the safest place.”
“…yeah, that. Either way, they’ll be kept out of trouble.”
-
“This is not out of trouble!” Wei Wuxian shouted as they ran away from the Xuanwu.
“This stretch of river has never caused anyone any problems!” Wen Chao shouted back. “Ever! You’re the one who found the fucking cave!”
“Shut up and keep running!” Jiang Cheng howled.
-
“I really like your hair,” Wang Lingjiao told Madame Yu. “Also, that dress.”
Wen Chao sighed.
“Expensive tastes?” Wei Wuxian asked, pouring him some wine.
“You have no idea,” Wen Chao said glumly. “My allowance can’t cover it, so I ended up putting her as a line item in the military budget.”
“You did?” Jiang Cheng said. “Did your father, uh, object?”
“He’d have to notice.”
“I wonder how many other things he wouldn’t notice,” Wei Wuxian muttered to himself.
“You’re a young master of Yunmeng Jiang,” Jiang Cheng said, rolling his eyes. “What could you possibly want to fund that we won’t pay for?”
“Can you pay him to stop?” Wen Xu asked. “I don’t even like flute music.”
“Shut up,” Wen Chao said. “You’ve been decapitated, remember?”
“Oh yeah, ‘decapitated’. And now I’m being force-fed lots of Qinghe barbeque,” Wen Xu said. “My life is really hard.”
“Why you…!”
Wen Xu sniggered. “How’s it going with Wen Zhuliu?”
“Fine, I think?” Wen Chao said. “He hasn’t actually noticed that the ‘demons’ we’re being hunted by aren’t really demons, but that’s because he’s been mostly drinking away his weird crush on our dad. I think Wen Ning is spiking his drink with something.”
They both turned to look at Wen Ning, who shrugged.
“Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person,” Wen Xu decided. “Are they attacking the Nightless City soon?”
“I think so.”
“What happens then?”
“Dunno.”
“Going to be kind of awkward when we ‘come back from the dead’ to take over.”
“I’m going to blame it on Wei Wuxian and his new weirdo cultivation,” Wen Chao decided. “We’re all sentient corpses he’s resurrected and using to puppet the Wen sect. Wen Ning, you in on this?”
“…sure,” Wen Ning said. “But only if I get first rights on ‘Ghost General’ as a nickname.”
“Oh, that’s a good one.”
-
“Thanks for the patricide,” Wen Xu said.
“Think nothing of it,” Nie Mingjue said. “Also, say nothing of it. Ever. In fact, let’s never talk again.”
“Can’t do that,” Wen Chao said. “Madame Yu told Jiaojiao that she got that fancy headpiece from Qinghe, so she wants to go there on a shopping trip.”
“Our economy could use the boost, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said, and Nie Mingjue sighed. “It’s going to be a really big boost. Especially if she convinces Madame Jin from Lanling to come with her.”
“I still can’t believe they made friends,” Wei Wuxian marveled. “It must come from having more money than brains.”
“Brains aren’t exactly what I look for in a partner,” Wen Chao said. “Luckily for you, neither does your boyfriend.”
“Hey, I have brains!”
“You’re certainly intelligent,” Meng Yao – now named Jin Guangyao – told him.
“See?”
“That was an insult,” Nie Mingjue said.
“…hey!”
“When are you coming back to Qinghe?” Nie Huaisang asked Jin Guangyao, who blinked. “I mean, unless you want to spend all your time slaving away for a guy who thought Wen Ruohan was neat.”
“He’s right,” Wen Xu said. “Father or not, don’t do it. It’s not worth it. You’ll end up having to rebel and ask your worst enemies for help and it’s awkward.”
“I appreciate the offer,” Jin Guangyao said. “But I really can’t accept.”
“Why not?” Nie Huaisang asked.
Wen Chao pointed at him. “Seconded.”
Jin Guangyao grimaced at them both. Possibly it was meant to be a smile.
“You don’t have to go to the Unclean Realm, A-Yao,” Lan Xichen said.
“Thank you, er-ge.”
“You can come to the Cloud Recesses instead.”
“Er-ge…”
“Did anyone ever tell the Jin sect that we were working with the Wen heirs?” Nie Mingjue wondered out loud, and everyone frowned. “Because if they don’t know, and Jin Guangshan thinks he’s being subtle with the whole trying to hire Xue Yang thing, things are going to get really awkward.”
“…well, shit,” Jiang Cheng said. “I call not being the one to tell him.”
“Seconded!”
“Cloud Recesses, you said?” Jin Guangyao asked Lan Xichen, who looked pleased.
“I’m leaving,” Wen Xu decided. “I want nothing to do with this disaster. You all have fun now, I’m fucking off back to the Nightless City to live the rest of my life as a very rich man with no life goals.”
“I want to do that,” Nie Huaisang said.
“No,” Nie Mingjue said.
“But –”
“No.”
“Hey,” Wei Wuxian said. “Unrelatedly, anyone have any ideas on what should I do with the whole resentful energy seal thing now?”
“I don’t know,” Wen Chao said. “Play a giant game of keep away with it and then fake your own death?”
look I know this looks like shit but I saw this tiktok and just. had to Jin Sibs it.
Mo Xuanyu loves this shit because he’s a gremlin who thrives off causing chaos.
Qin Su is in the weird position of being the JGS Bastard Elephant In The Room that the wider Jin family don’t really want to acknowledge, but also don’t want to upset in case she causes any more scandal, so for her, Jin family gatherings are low risk, high entertainment value.
Jin Zixuan struggles, because he was brought up to respect and care about the opinions of these people… but he also knows they’re awful… but he also hates drama and rocking the boat… but he also hates seeing his siblings treated shittily… mostly he is on Interrupt In A Loud And Timely Manner If People Are Being Assholes To Meng Yao duty
Meng Yao objectively has the worst time because he has basically designated himself the person who runs Interference for the siblings at gatherings, and he also really fucking hates confrontation, so does his best to keep the peace no matter how awful their relatives are to him… up until a point, when he’s exhausted enough not to give a shit anymore, and he retreats to a bathroom with a bottle of wine in each hand and his boyfriends on speed dial, and tells Xuanyu to do his worst.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I spent a few hours reading everything so far of @aeronocacto‘s fic Chaos Theory and I love it so much omg. Here’s a doodle of Izuku and Catchan!
I had such a heard time deciding how to draw the long hair haha. Whenever I took away the fringe, it just didn’t look Izuku-esque enough for me I guess?? idk. I made the hand scar a lil small because i feel that young shiggy definitely had smol hands
(though i guess izuku’s face would’ve been smaller as well?? would the scar have stretched as his head got bigger? though i guess people’s skulls don’t exactly ‘expand’... i’ve somehow come upon so many extra questions and i’m not sure i want to know the answers)
Also the colouring’s a bit sloppy sorry (╯︵╰,) it’s currently 5am don’t judge me
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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