I Like to Read Words

my ex’s 13 year old sister invited me to thanksgiving dinner and y’all better bet I’m going

Update: I sat at the head of the table and had an in-depth conversation about print media and I’m fairly certain one of the uncles thought I was my ex and I think I have acquired a little sister now

Some people steal your hoodie or your electronics when you break up. This brilliant woman straight up stole a man’s entire family.

I’m a dude, if you think straights are capable of reaching this level of wholesome unfettered pettiness you are mistaken.

do you guys want to see a really good bat

his name is Merlin Tuttle

@anders-was-right

Every time I reblog a cool pic I’m like … What the point. But I still continue

when you’re cozy in bed and you hear heavy rain reblog if you agree

Justice for Benny

??? someone broke into my grandmas house while she was gone & shaved the matted fur off her cat

i want to emphasize that the cat was the only thing altered here

would also like to add that this occcurred sometime between 11 pm & 9 am. we have no leads. the cat is fine & probably appreciates not having a huge mat on his neck, but, like, that’s a really weird kind of vigilante justice, still

chaotic good

you ever hoist a big laundry basket on your hip and feel like the great tragedy of your life is that you weren’t born a hearty peasant girl in medieval england who’d die at 22 from an abscessed tooth

imo the fact that people apparently relate to this points to some kind of weird cell memory of centuries of female labour that’s activated by extended pressure against the hipbone. im becoming an evolutionary psychologist it was wonderful knowing you all