crash key

Moments like these were rare. Lately, every free drop of time was spent in search of a mysterious fanatic, one they were not sure even existed. But the threat remained, as the warning of the newest Zero loomed in their minds. So they would look. And waste away minutes, hours, days tearing through all the possible suspects. Thus when the opportunity arose for a little while of respite (tea with his beloved sister, specifically) he gladly accepted. 

The two of them were simply enjoying the presence of one another, their conversation light. He knew there was something bothering her, however; something she had been holding upon since returning from the test site. And then she brings up their late mother, eyes flickering to him, and then away again. I miss her sometimes, she says. Even though I didn’t know her.

  ❛ mm… ❜

He pauses, unsure of how exactly to respond. Aoi remembered his mother. She was kind – doting, but stern when she needed to be. Almost like Akane, had it not been for… He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. He was eight when their parents died. The police had wrote it off as a car accident, giving no further details on the matter. He had always been suspicious of the circumstances surrounding their deaths, but didn’t learn the truth until much later. On a whim he decided to dig further into it, and found the files of his fathers court case – and the subsequent suicide of his wife. He never told Akane. She was burdened with enough as it were, and he wished not to weigh her mind with more worries. (though he thought, now, perhaps, may be a good time to reveal such information… but still he held his tongue.)

He wondered, sometimes, how their parents would have felt about everything. The Nonary Games, the plans, the attempts to save a dying world. And… the way they turned out. Would they be proud? Or upset they’d never live a simple life? He did not have the answer, but hoped, at least, what they were doing was truly a good thing. That what they had done was just and for good reason. 

Fatigue swept through him for a moment, his shoulders feeling suddenly heavier, and the world a whole lot larger. He took a sip of the tea they’d prepared, eyes cast to the side. Thinking over her words, he finally answers –

  ❛ i miss her, too. y’know… she was a lot like you. maybe a little less weird – hey, don’t give me that look, i’m just sayin’ it like it is. ❜ 

❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜

❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜

❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜

❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜

❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜

❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜

❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜

❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜

❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜

❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜

❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜

❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜

❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜

❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜

❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜

❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜

❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜

❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜

❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜

❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜

❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜

❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜

❛ ‘Fuck’ and ‘fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜

❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜

❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜

❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place?  ❜

❛ Any fool can pray. ❜

❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜

❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜

❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜

❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜

❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜

❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜

❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜

❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜

❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜

❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜

❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜

❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜

Aoi had turned in early for the night. Which was a rarity, for him; getting so close to the day of reckoning meant many a days gone with little to no rest. He’d gotten used to it, at this point. There was always more to be done, but, he’d figured, it was useless to fight against the lead-like weight of his eyelids and heaving yawns which punctuated every action. Thus, he decided rather than fall prey to slumber at his desk, he would do so at the comfort of his own bed. Just this once. A good night’s sleep has never hurt anyone, after all.

A soft rapping at his door rouses him. Tired eyes flicker to the light now trickling into the room as he sits up, searching for the source – and he sees her. A familiar figure, illuminated in the doorway. Akane. ( who else could it be? ) Pillow in hand, she stood wearing a look of unease upon her face. She must be nervous, he mused. He was, too. All this planning, all this effort, it had to be perfect, otherwise it would be game over. They couldn’t afford to lose… he couldn’t afford to lose her. She was all he had left. 

Her words are a spark of nostalgia kindling old memories, those of a time not so stressful nor so weary. It’s melancholic, now, remembering the past. What was, what could have been… He sees his sister as a child, fiddling with the collar of her nightgown, her eyes downcast. Can I sleep with you tonight? I had a bad dream, she had said, her voice soft. At the time, her nightmares were rare, yet always did they end with her rushing to his door, and always did she ask the same question. He’d nodded – of course – and welcomed her forth with a hug and a smile. I’ll always keep you safe.

The memory fades, and all that remains is the quiet sorrow. 

Terror acted like venom through his veins, paralyzing him, rooting him in place. Moments ago, he had been yelling, calling out for his sister, throwing his hands against the steel of the door separating them. Pure adrenaline had directed his every move, numbing him to the pain and reddening of his fingers, but as the seconds slowly passed them by, the deadline getting closer and closer… the fear took hold. These few fragments of time seemed an eternity. They were forced to wait while she was trapped, alone; there was nothing he could do, no way to save her from out here… it was maddening. He could still hear her voice, at the very least – it was a small comfort. Light and the detective were behind him, no longer moving, and silent.

There was no time left. He could hear the pounding of his heart in his ears; it drowned out everything else. His hands were balled into fists at his sides, eyes glued to the door. It began to slide open… 

And then he saw her. Tear stricken and visibly shaking, but alive. She was alive… relief washed over him like a wave crashing against the shore, his legs nearly giving out beneath him. It was then he realized he had been holding his breath. 

❛ akane! ❜