things probably overheard during nonary games

Akane: The universe does not want me dead. Akane: It does not want me happy, but it does not want me dead.

Alice: Stop letting your heart and your pussy choose your men. Clover: I’m confused, what is left… Clover: Oh nevermind, lmao my brain. You right sis lol you is right. Alice: You really forgot your whole brain. Phi: She was listening with her pussy.

Akane: I constantly update my will, because the person who’s face I want my ashes thrown in keeps changing.

[crime scene] Seven: They took the stolen cars to the chop shop. Junpei [nodding]: Like a karate dojo. Seven: No, like a place they cut up cars. Junpei [imagining karate chopping a 2015 toyota tacomi]: Such power...

Aoi: Akane’s at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind. Lotus: Boys? Akane: Homicide.

Quark: Sigma, listen carefully. Life is a journey. Sigma: Uh huh? Quark: That's all I've got. I don't have advice. I'm ten.

Mira: Listen, if you ever need anybody murdered please give me a call. I am very discreet, I have no code of ethics. I will kill anyone, anywhere. Children, animals, old people. Doesn’t matter. I just love killin’.

Phi: Good morning mom let’s get this bread. Diana: Please send me a picture of the bread you want and I will see if Walmart carries it. Love you!

Junpei [each time after solving a puzzle]: The circle of stupidity is complete.

Akane: Carlos, are you a fire hydrant? Carlos: 👍 Akane: Because that dog is peeing on you. Gab: 👍 Carlos: ☹️

Alice: I’d say it’s only a matter of time until one of us commits murder. If I had to guess, I’d say it will be me. Phi [glaring at Sigma]: You’re underestimating my rising desire to kill. Zero III: Why are you all still alive?!

Alice: The pizza’s here. Clover: Oh, boy! Ah, Alice, I hope you don’t mind… I played for you while you were gone. Don’t worry… I only lost twice! Alice: …I was downstairs for two minutes. We’re playing Monopoly. Clover: I may have made a few risky investments. Light: She tried to build a, and I quote, “tower citadel worthy of my sorcery” out of about twenty stacked hotels. On jail.

Sigma: Phi, how old do you think I am? Phi: Age doesn't matter. You can die at anytime. Sigma: ...

Luna: I’m trying back port stuff with my boyfriend, so I guess this brunch isn’t totally bottomless. Alice: You are a freak and I love it! Clover [desperately]: Tell me what it means. Alice: I will not.

Sigma: [clicks pen] Phi: [clicks pen in response] Dio: Stop that. Sigma: Stop what? Dio: You’re talking about me in Morse code. Phi: Yes, that’s what we’re doing. In our very limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. [Later…] Sigma [to Clover]: That’s… exactly what we did.