我永远失去了

The British ship “Titanic” sank at 2:20 AM on April 15th 1912, having collided with the iceberg at 11:40 on April 14th. At 12.15 AM.

one of the S.O.S calls from the Titanic reached its sister ship, the Olympic. The calls for help were heard by many ships but the closest ship, the Carpathia, was 4 hours away from the sinking Titanic. Titanic sank 2 hours before the Carpathia arrived to rescue survivors. Some survivors died of hypothermia shortly after they were recovered. The Carpathia arrived at New York on the April 18, 1912. The Titanic’s first and only passenger voyage had lasted less than five days. 

The British ship “Titanic” sank at 2:20 AM on April 15th 1912, having collided with the iceberg at 11:40 on April 14th. At 12.15 AM.

one of the S.O.S calls from the Titanic reached its sister ship, the Olympic. The calls for help were heard by many ships but the closest ship, the Carpathia, was 4 hours away from the sinking Titanic. Titanic sank 2 hours before the Carpathia arrived to rescue survivors. Some survivors died of hypothermia shortly after they were recovered. The Carpathia arrived at New York on the April 18, 1912. The Titanic’s first and only passenger voyage had lasted less than five days. 

visual representation of putting your trust in someone.

Who’d of thought it, huh?

Who’d of thought I’d of spent my 22nd birthday in hospital after an overdose that kept me in a hospital bed for 3 weeks with persistent treatment. Who’d of thought I’d end up being put on a mental health ward for almost 2 months - I completely neglected myself, I stopped eating, I’d punch everything in sight, I’d self harm and ligature when I had the chance and I’d sleep my life away because the little bit of energy I had, I used to destroy my body. I went from having a semi-bareable life to having nothing. I broke everyone’s heart. I broke my Mums heart. I pushed my family away and not everyone has tried to push their way back in, which is what I want. I want a fresh start, not exactly a new life, but I want to better myself and make it a little bit happier. Without the love of my friends and family, I don’t think I’ve of made it to this point.

But then again, who’d of thought I’d now be 5 months free from self harm. One year and 2 months free from overdoses, as much as my head pushes me down for it. As much as the thoughts and voices tell me I deserve what I did to myself, I try so hard not to give in, and so far, its working. I have people to thank for helping me through it. I’ll never be able to show them how thankful I am.

Last year was the worst year of my life. Despite many admissions to hospitals and respites, I did meet incredible people along the way, people who I will forever hold close to my heart. Who I’m proud of and love unconditionally and who have held my hand throughout every tear and every slip up I have made. Slip ups that I’m still bound to make (Let’s face it, they do happen and that’s okay.)

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is - if I can do it, then so can you.

I honestly don’t care if people find this gross. I’m fed up of others cussing people because they have “cellulite” when personally, I actually kinda like mine, it just shows that we’re human, we’re not plastic Barbie dolls & we DO have imperfections. I’m not the skinniest person to set an example, but there are skinny people out there that also have cellulite so it isn’t just something “fat” people get. Grow up and stop picking on others for their flaws, that sadly, they cannot help.