I'm Sick Of Those Adults

why I always have to be the second option?

why?

why they don't leave me alone?

I cannot even be a little sad, that I am wrong

if a sher a tear than I am just horrendous as a bug

I hate it,

Mister Gentleman

When the sun’s out

He’s gentle and kind

He holds the door

And pays the bills

He kiss me softly

My parents love him

He cooks with my mother

And fix car with my father

All my friends like him

They all say “he’s such a gentleman”

But when the night comes

The gentleman is gone

He fucks me

Tough kisses

OMG my neck is full of hickeys

Bite marks on my thighs

And I need more, more, more, more, more

he’s back full of scratches

He’s eyes begging for permits

Oh damn, I think I’m gonna marry him!

When the sun’s out

And the world takes out the worst of me

He’s the one to take the weigh off of my shoulders

He is so kind, so smart, so charming

He’s so caring when I’m drunk,

So worried when I’m hurt

He makes me laugh as I never did in front of anyone

He brings the best out of me

He’s so sweet just like candies

With he’s smile bright as the morning

He looks at me like I’m the love of his life

And they all say he such a gentleman

But when the night comes

The gentleman is gone

He fucks me

Tough kisses

OMG my neck is full of hickeys

Bite marks on my thighs

And I need more, more, more, more, more

he’s back full of scratches

He’s eyes begging for permits

When I imagine love I see your face

Why do I?

I never felt it before…

This mustn't be right

I can't fall for you.

No, this is not love.

Love is not about wanting to be with you all the time,

Love isn't about drinking coffee with you just because you like it (even that I hate coffee with my soul),

Love isn't being jealous of your friends hugging you all the time,

Love isn't about how cute I think you are when you're talking about something that you like,

Love isn't about how sexy you look with your pretty wet hair,

Love isn't about how I started a whole collection of books because I wanted to have something in common with you,

Love isn't about how I still feel the goosebumps when we first danced together,

Love isn't about how I love to look at your fucking amazing face,

Love isn't about how I am addicted to your morning voice,

Love isn't about how lucky I feel every time I hear your voice,

No, love isn't about those kinda stupides things.

Love isn't… Right?

I can't fall for you

I can't be in love with you, right?

Because if is it love,

I'm so in love with you.

Why is our love forbidden?

Why I can’t just hold your hand tightly as I always wanted?

Why can’t I just be held through the night by your unbelievable warm arms?

Why can’t you be crazy with me all the time?

Why can’t you be mine?

Why can’t you stop being so beautiful all the time?

Why can’t I stop feeling jealous when I see people looking at you in the same way that I do?

Why can’t I be like you?

Why you don’t stop seeing me as just a friend?

I’m tired, you know?

Tired to pretend that I don’t care about what you think about me

Because goddammit I do care

So why?

Why can’t we freeze this moment?  

The moment when your hands are on over my waist tightly and mine are on your shoulders and we just keeping glaring at each other.

The seconds turn into hours just because I’m looking at you, at your soul.

Why? Why?

Why love is so complicated?

Why love can’t be easy like it seems?

Why I can’t love you?

Why You can’t love me?

Friends, maybe that's the word that people would use to describe our relationship

But If I could choose a little phrase to describe me and you, I'd choose "What if"

What if we weren't miles and miles far away from each other?

What if I could say my real feelings for you ?

What if you had met me when I was unbroken?

What if we'd share our fears and dreams?

What if we'd agree with everything?

What if..

What if..

What if..

What if I could kiss you?

What if you could hug me to make my tears go away?

What if we could be a "normal" couple, doing the "holding hands and forehead kisses"?

"What if" that's all we will ever be

“I knew you were a trouble just at the first time 

The moon and I were kinda high

 I told to my friends I was just fine

 But Damn, when I see your smile

 The smart talks, the drunk smirks 

When you would hug me so thigh 

 Jazz songs, kissing in the dark 

 The way you changed my life

 You are my trouble, trouble 

 Who makes me feel complete 

My trouble, trouble 

 Who makes act so dangerously 

 My trouble, trouble 

I’m afraid, like really afraid

I’m afraid of people, 

of my parents, 

of my friends, 

of my grades, 

of not going to the college

I’m afraid in not being the person that everyone “knows” that I’m going to become

I’m afraid of everyone knowing my true collours 

Knowing that the true me is a bitch that don’t cares to none but herself 

Knowing that I am a bad child 

A bad student 

A bad person 

But still I want to prove the otherwise, 

I want to reach every single expectetipns that everybody put on me 

I want to be perfect just like my older sibling

I want to be perfect as they 

I want my parents to be proud of me