fight me

“God, this is — this is a mess. Look, maybe this is just… how it’s supposed to be, you know? Drop me off at the nearest hospital and I’ll tell the cops the rest of you got away, send them on a goose chase to Canada or something. It’d buy you guys some time, at least…“

“Trying to play hero, Cody baby?”

We are dumb and selfish. Ugh. Cody shook his head quickly, without thinking, realizing immediately those were exactly the labels he didn’t want, and that hearing Imogene’s affirmation would only make his uncertainty regarding their road trip worse. He was quick to laugh it off, fixing her with the sort of sheepish gaze that he hoped indicated how badly he regretted bringing this up. He didn’t talk about his worries — ever. He was decisive; he wasn’t nearly as lost as the boy they’d set out to find and he projected that aura of likeability at every opportunity and at all costs. If he had one thing going for him, it was the ease with which he made others (and by extension, himself) comfortable. This conversation had take a sharp and twisty turn into the realm of uncomfortable with Imogene’s declaration of fuck the world, despite that any other day Cody would’ve deemed such comments normal. He grinned, eager to ease them back into jokey banter, the revelation that she’d ditch them in a heartbeat far more assuring than all the ones made previous. “Didn’t you just say you’re not interested in pretending?” He wrinkled his nose. “That’s practically the entire job description of a movie star, Kelley; let’s get that straight, first of all.”

“Totally different,” Imogene declared stubbornly. She paused for a moment, flashing a wicked grin his way. “I’m getting paid to pretend,” she added with a wild laugh that burst from her chest. She wasn’t being entirely serious. Her life was aimless enough as it is, and she could certainly live on her own (hadn’t she been doing that anyways?), but the adventure they had all decided to go on was a fun one. Even if Imogene complained that the others were being boring and slow, she wasn’t unhappy. She was seeing the world, and if the St Clair’s abandoned ones were going to be her ride to it, she would tag along as long as she wanted. “Look, I’m going to just say it right now: you’re going to lose, Cody baby. So why not give in, now? I’m sure Hanna or someone is waiting for you to show up again,” she said, raising an eyebrow at him with a small smirk of her own. He and Hanna had always been close, and being a friend of Hanna’s (and a one time tryst of hers), Imogene liked to keep tabs on one of the few people she genuinely enjoyed being around in the group. If she hadn’t noticed Cody’s little past attentions towards her, Imogene would have to be blind and stupid — two things she definitely wasn’t.

"True," Cody agreed reluctantly, unsure himself for a moment why breaking laws was such an issue — the law had never been particularly kind to them, after all, and he was pretty sure he had it better than most of the others, having never anything but St. Clair’s and an unwanted status. He could, to some extent, understand wanting to defy authority as a result, but he’d decided a long time ago he’d rather be normal and right than a fighter for any significant cause. Pushing and shoving wasn’t going to give him a family, or make him feel any better about not having one; it was all he could do, going with the flow. “I just don’t think we should cause any more… problems for people who don’t really deserve to have to deal with them?” The end of his sentence was upturned, uncertainty settling in fast even as he said it. “There are people looking for us already, who think we’re dumb and selfish and I don’t want them to think even worse.” He sighed, though couldn’t help but give a little smile at how quickly Imogene assured him he was nothing worth sticking around for. “I know,” he said, rolling his eyes as he looked out to the ocean. “It’s just a really big puddle, now that I’ve seen it. I’m kinda hoping Alfie’s got a way to sneak us into Hollywood later,” he joked, leaving out the most important thing he hoped Alfie would bring him to.

“What makes you think they’re wrong, though?” Imogene challenged, lifting her chin although it wasn’t Cody she was quite rebelling against. The constructs of their world had long been foreign to her, and she’d abandoned them all a long time ago. She didn’t care if they dealt with problems; everyone dealt with problems. She didn’t care what they thought of her, because they were probably right. “We are dumb and selfish,” Imogene said calmly, “but that’s not a bad thing, and it’s not our fault. If you want to put blame on someone, it’s probably theirs.” She shrugged to lighten her statement but it was still there, a soft reveal of Imogene’s thought process. “I’m seriously not interested in pretending to be someone I’m not,” she added, grabbing a fistful of sand and letting it fall slowly through her fingers. “I’m myself. Fuck the world if they don’t like it.” She couldn’t help but laugh at Cody’s banter, a small part of her appreciating the way he brought some humor back into their conversation. Good, she wasn’t sure how long she could actually talk about this without calling him a dumbass or something. “Fucking rude, the ocean is way more than a big puddle,” she teased, throwing some sand his way. “If we go to Hollywood, then I’m going to ditch all of you and become a movie star,” she joked confidently.

Take it as you will. I suppose you can, but we already have a baby to keep an eye on in this damn pact — add another one who’s trapped in a fucking eighteen year old body and i’ll go absolutely mental. I might be but come on Immy, it’s just a cut; suck it up and carry on with your life without whining. Weren’t you supposed to be indestructible? I’m disappointed.

Stop complaining, it’s so unattractive, Jameson. You’re disappointed? So am I, I was on such a good streak. Dev, I am indestructible. Don’t go around thinking I’ve changed or something, then who would you have fun with? 

.. Just keep it. 

That’s generous of you, thanks. 

Cody raised an eyebrow at the question, unsure how to answer. Imogene was right — partly. He was trying to be normal and to keep it together, but it no longer took any amount of effort to play the part of someone who was, for the most part, together. There was no try. It all came naturally, now: smiling and nodding when people talked about parents and smiling and shaking his head when people asked about his, making everyone smile in hopes of recovering what was lost but unleashing a cruel misconception about himself instead. If Imogene really didn’t care, then she was lucky, because he did. He cared far too much, and he felt strangely bitter, having to discuss such a thing with Imogene, who was either entirely fake or the least likely person to understand. He couldn’t imagine an inbetween. “You’d manage,” he agreed, following her gaze up to the sun before his eyes trailed back to her face curiously. “But you’d break a million more laws in the process.” He wrinkled his nose. “Whatever, Kelley. You wouldn’t be here if you really didn’t want to be. There’s just something about us that keeps you coming back every time,” he teased, grinning.

The lack of a response gave Imogene more assurance that he was, after all, like the rest. She felt an unfamiliar quick pang of disappointment but ignored it, turning her back to it as she smiled mirthlessly. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she said without mockery in her tone. She wasn’t sure why she wasn’t laughing, or why she wasn’t trying to have fun despite being with a bore like Cody, but for once, Imogene didn’t mind. She didn’t feel as restless for the next source of amusement, wasn’t turned on by the idea of another challenge to overcome. She just was. “What’s wrong with breaking laws? It’s not like we’re the poster model for model citizen or something anyways,” she quipped, laughing at the idea of her being a role model for anything. “It’s not you,” she protested, even as she smiled despite herself, “I’ve never seen the ocean before. Why the hell not?” She had to admit, though, that seeing the world wouldn’t be as fun if she weren’t with the other St. Clair’s runaways.