Wierd lifestories

Like in my first history class my 3rd year of high school, we were sitting in pairs. and I was sitting next to some dude. The teacher handed us an envelope with like post it note sized cards in them. All the different cards contained a historic event in the world history. and told us to make a timeline. spanning all the way from the first settling human group, to Obama becoming president. So we all started. and discussing where the cards would fit with the partner next to them. and after about 10 minutes, a girl raises her hand and says “Columbus discovering America is the last thing that happened before Jesus Christ was born, right?”

I will say that i have heard my fair share of hilarious drunk stories, but i will tell you this. nothing makes people laugh at a party like mine. So here we go!

I went to a party with my bff and the guy hosting had a house full of swords, spears and other medieval shit. so after a few to many my bff and i figured we should duel. it was okay, but be warned the weapons are sharp. And by accident I cut him open on the ass of all things. the ambulance was called, then the police because it was weapons involved. my bff being the awesome person he is told us to get the fuck away, the injury wasn’t serious and he only needed like 6 stitches. so we left.

a sober guy was nice enough to take me and a few friends to another party. constantly checking on the one we left behind. we partied on. until I honestly don’t remember anything.

long story short. me and my 3 friends who had slept over at my place woke up to a massive hangover when we heard my mom screaming for me. when we finally got downstairs she looked me dead in the eye, asking “why the fuck is there a cow tied on the front porch”