Attack Of The Plot Bunnies

I love dramatically looking out windows on public transportation

you ever been so stressed that youre calm

this is my constant state

my chill is fake

“How are you so calm?!” “I’ve passed beyond stressed, beyond hysteria, into the grey misty indifference of complete shutdown of all but emergency services in my brain.”

this will never not be funny

I need 3 sugars for my tea please

I love grandma activities… sleeping early, drinking tea, knitting, buying ugly sweaters and tacky clothing, gardening, feeding all the neighbourhood cats, sewing… Im all abt that!

Are yOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

I will pay five dollars IN CASH to watch Martha Stewart get high as fuck and make crafts with Snoop.

the article just got better as i kept on reading

A WHOLE RAW POTATO THIS STILL KILLS ME

oh god I have a terrible pun and I’m trying to keep myself from posting it but I don’t think I can stop myself

scientists have almost completed building a sex robot but they’re still working out its kinks

You are not someone else’s redemption arc. Not everyone deserves your forgiveness and no one is entitled to it. 

why did we stop building castles. i feel like humanity might live to regret that