dude are you fucking kidding me i do watch cooking shows like this

Everyone I know watches cooking shows like this

If you’re not watching a cooking show like this what’s the point

I needed to check that this was real, and apparently, it is. What’s more, the end goal in these experiments was to fight feline AIDS, creating glow-in-the-dark cats was a side effect. That might be the greatest sentence I write this year.

Ok, so the short version is that scientists want to insert a Useful Gene. But they have no way of knowing if the Useful Gene actually got incorporated into the cat’s (or other animal’s) DNA. So they glue the Glow Gene to the Useful Gene. If the animal glows, both genes got inserted successfully.

Yes! Pretty much every glow in the dark science animal is that way because of the above! A lot of people don’t get that, and think scientists are just screwing around and doing slightly irresponsible things with animal DNA just cuz they can. That’s not the case at all

Love that you can see the exact moment that Enlightenment™ occurs for this little dude. Good job, you did it.

that is the face of a man worried he will be next

Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.

crane husband.....

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

Got a new job at a natural history museum this summer! Hope I make a good night guard lol

Hey what's that plastic clicking noise

The cowboys... the Romans..... no........ they couldn't be.........

a kitty is like a stuffed animal that is so heavy and it bite you and she loves you so much and you’re best friends

The nuclear family setup is so stupid. We should all live in interconnected tunnels with our friends.

talkative cats are the backbone of society. when you look at a cat and they go “mrrp?” at you? that’s what it’s all about baby

in the evil world beanie babies would be called meanie babies

i love that i can just start off sentences with phrases like “in the evil world” and not elaborate at all, because people just get what i mean. like yeah yeah, the evil world, we all know it. the world thats just like ours but evil. we’re all familiar. 

i'm thinking about five again and it's making me insane. this boy, as a thirteen year old child, looked at an indeterminate amount of time trapped in a lifeless wasteland as the one and only person alive on the planet and said oh, i'm going to lose my mind. that's what a lifetime of isolation would do to anyone and he's no exception. so do you know what he did? he found a lump of plastic, put all of his rationality and common sense and capacity for love into it, gave it a name, gave it an affinity for sparkles and a pronounced distaste for his alcoholic, impulsive, or otherwise reckless tendencies, and he walked into insanity with his eyes wide open. he pre-emptively combatted the inevitable with a controlled descent into madness and he did it on his own terms because like hell was he going down easy, and then when he finally got back to a place where he no longer needed to be fragmented just to survive, he took his brother's advice and he let it go

i can not get over how perfectly he landed. how did he do this

To expand upon this: a lot of birds’ bones aren’t hollow in order to make them lighter, but instead so that they can take in more oxygen. This is because when you’re flying through the air at speeds of Fast™, it’s very hard to convince the air around you to flow into your nostrils at speeds that let you get enough to breathe. So, birds evolved hollowed out bones to circumvent this, as it allows them to store air.

I feel like not enough people are aware of the fact that birds are nightmare creatures that have respiratory systems that extend directly into their bones. And the same thing was the case with lots of dinosaurs, light bones let birds fly and let dinosaurs grow huge.

i love you ambiguous endings i love you pyrrhic victories i love you tragedy masquerading as a happy ending i love you characters who are living and dead at the same time i love you cognitive dissonance i love you existential death

tumblr is an awful place full of awful people and i hate every single one of you. “mr. sandman” came on and without blinking i sang man me a sand. 

Make him the cutest car door man hook hand