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Mark: A few things baby. Number one is I like that you’re more organizing your stuff. It’s nice, it looks good and it’ll make you finding things a bit easier. Another thing is I like that you know, you accept my request like for example, we’ll go to Regner’s or when you know mapupuyat ka or mapapagod ka. You know you still accept my request cause I think, you think like “okay si hun nagwork na for this week, ako rin nagwork na buong week, maybe we should go out and enjoy some time with friends.” I also like that you know you found your stride in regards to your business, on what you want to do cause there was a time period when you took some time off cause a lot happened. Yeah, I’m proud of you for getting back on the course and slowly we’re getting to a better place because of your decisions as well, and how you’re planning out the rest of maybe the next 3-4-5 years na working with your brand, the business and all that stuff. And nakakaproud, nakakatuwa na nakikita ko yung passion mo.

Mija: I think I like that you are really motivating yourself to work harder this time given that you have two jobs and even when you feel tired most of the time and even if you don’t really have the time to go out with me, you exert effort to come with me especially at work. And you exert extra effort to have quality time with me kahit 5-10 minutes lang.

Question 2: What is your absolute favorite thing that you have seen me recently.

Mark: Like I said kanina, you’re getting more organized. You’re actually tidying up a bit more, trying to get things in order instead of buying makeup, now they’re drawers, containers because it’ll only help you. I appreciate your turn around like it’s not more focused on what is something that’s going to make me happy right now but then mawawala lang din, so parang supplemental happiness lang. Anything you can use for work, productivity, for betterment, that’s okay. Also like you need to spoil yourself so with the bags and all the makeups, that’s fine. But recently, I noticed you’re kind of turning it around into okay, instead of buying this, I’ll buy something a little bit more helpful to you like the drawers, tables, like you wanting to buy a nice desk chair. That’s the most recent thing I’m glad about.

Mija: Um recently… in the past weeks we’ve been going out to meet up with my family-relatives, you try to put your best foot forward and try to converse with them as much as possible given you’re shy. So I’m glad that you get along with my family. Starting from November, December, January and this recent birth week ko… I’m glad that you’re okay with them and they’re really okay with you. Lol. Hinahanap ka na nga palagi eh. Lol

Question 3: What would you like to see me improve on?

Mark: I guess, you know when I work? I’m laser-focused especially I have 2 jobs now and it’s not even a hundred percent yet. I know that you miss me, you want to cuddle, you want to do this, you want to do stuff with me, and I want to do those too naman eh. But what I would like to see you improve is just taking the time to be with yourself muna so that I can focus muna. Don’t get me wrong hun ha, doesn’t mean you can’t go downstairs, you can’t say hi, you can’t talk to me, that’s okay hun but I can’t go up, I can’t sleep, I can’t do other stuff. Other than that, I can’t think of anything else.

Mija: Improve on… Oh I know. I want you to be less forgetful. Lol! Cause you forget a lot. For example, “hun ah, when you get down don’t forget to take the garbage out” tapos biglang, “okay hun”. Then one minute later. Wala na. It’s out the window. Lol

Question 4: Is there anything that I can do to improve in my walk with God?

Mark: I think just maintaining your daily routine of doing your devo, continuously going to your Dgroup.. I think what you could do to improve is one is continue what you’re doing. It doesn’t actually have to be every day. But then also, like I said you can do it every other day. Give yourself time to process. Cause sometimes you tend to feed yourself too much information and then you get overwhelmed, then you can’t process it cause if you fully understood some thing hun, it would be very easy to put those into words. Which you do. It’s very easy for you to put it into words the things that you know. But the things that you’re learning, medyo hirap ka gaano i-interpret and that could be just because of you know, maybe you don’t have experience in that sort of scenario or where you can use that part of the bible or word of God, but then you know taking a step back and processing it, is only good for you. You don’t need to do it every day. It’s always better to also let your brain rest.

Mija: I think I’d like you to improve on or allot time on reading your bible. Like get start with your devo. But I would have to say when I ask you questions, kaya mo naman. I mean you know what you’re saying. But you know it’s different when you read it by yourself, it’s a whole lot different experience and the learning you get, ng ikaw lang like without my input or outside influence.

Question 5: What characteristics would you like to see removed in me in the next five years?

Mark: Sometimes, bumabalik yung dati mong ugali na demanding ka. Sometimes when you’re angry you tend to act like a spoiled brat. I’m just saying na when any of us are angry baby, panget naman diba talaga. Now you tend to act like a spoiled brat when you’re angry. When I’m angry, I don’t listen. You know, everything just goes swoosh. Spoiled brat isn’t that offensive baby. Ito naman. But very rare times na bumabalik lang, it doesn’t happen every day.

Mija: You drink occasionally and that’s ok. Well you’ve stopped drinking or being alcoholic and smoking.. Hmm but what other things would be… being forgetful. But nothing big of a deal in general.

Question 6: Was there anything I was doing in the beginning of our relationship that you liked but I stopped doing?

Mark: (lksnsjfndakad) hahahaha hindi ata narinig sa record. Lol. I guess, that’s one of the things but it’s not that important you know. I think wala naman.

Mija: Wala naman… I can’t say staying up late cause right now we couldn’t really stay up that late, I mean for example after work you know, unlike before we used to go out a lot. So wala naman. I think we’re that conscious to allot more time for our quality time like setting a date at least once a month so I can’t really answer that specific question.

Question 7: In your opinion, is there something we can do to become more of a team together on a mission achieving our God-given goals? What is our mission statement as a couple?

Mark; Hmm, that’s a good question baby... Well I think our strength is communication. And I think communication is the most important every thing else just comes after that eh. We can communicate our ideals and ideas about you know our goals in our path to walking with God. I guess our mission statement would be always to lift each other up. Ako kasi, my mission is I work hard, I do the best that I can, I try to improve the best that I can so that’s everything I do, and then from that I take all of that and then give it all to you to lift you up which is you do the same in return for me. So that’s what I said, our mission as a couple is to lift each other up.

Mija: Actually, we’ve done this before but it stopped, and that was having our bible study or attending service together on Sundays. For our statement mission, I appreciate the saying “put God in the center of relationship” unlike before we used to have our own judgment like this is my way, this is your way. We were righteous in our own eyes back then but now that we have Him, we are more conscious and cautious and knowing the right judgment based on His Word. It’s really good to have God in our lives… I’m not saying we’re the perfect couple cause we obviously stumble and struggle with a lot of things. But just by maintaining the habit of studying His word to always be reminded is, yeah…

Question 8: On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate our relationship?

Mark: Of course I’d say 10 baby because I think we have a very, very good relationship. No couple is perfect but from my perspective we’re as close to perfect as possible. But we’re not perfect, we have our own problems but I wouldn’t exchange our relationship for anything in the world.

Mija: I think it’s 9. Nine because… Actually, I don’t know why it’s nine. Lol. Cause if I’m gonna think of our problems, it’s normal naman. Lol. But nine kase cause I just feel like it’s nine. Hahaha. Nine because especially while I’m at work and you’re not with me, I would say sana kasama kita, when you drive for me or vice versa. Just the moments we’re apart. When I’m at home and ready to sleep, that’s the time you get here and start with your day. Also given the nature of my job, you know I don’t really work with people of my age, so when things get tough, you’re the only person that comes into mind but I couldn’t tell you stuff right away cause you’re asleep. So, the thing is the time difference.

Question 9: Do you feel appreciated? What things do I do that make you feel that way?

Mark: I like when you cook for me even though sometimes hindi ako nakaka-kain. I like when you leave some for me, when you put food on my plate… I appreciate that a lot. I appreciate that you scratch my back, when you persuade me to get a massage… I also appreciate when you have your dreams. Lol like “baby, bakit ka nangbababae”, and I’m like, “ha, nandito lang ako baby”. Lol. But I appreciate that baby cause I know that was only a dream but she took it to heart like I am that important to her.

Mija: Yes I do feel appreciated and the things are would be one, when you take time to go upstairs and cuddle with me. Second, when you remind me it’s past my bed time, or the simple things like “hun, kumain ka na, ligo ka na”. The simple gentle reminders. Some of the times when I’m already tired from work, you would initiate to do stuff for me like cook dinner. I appreciate that you do things without me having the need to ask you. You are basically my stopwatch to my overwork habit.

Question 10: When do you feel the most connected to me?

Mark: Kanina, when we’re upstairs nagccuddle tayo. Those moments even when we’re not talking, you know just being with each other cause you don’t need words sometimes. You don’t need words to express how you feel. Especially in the morning when you wake up, the thought in my mind’s like, “that’s my baby”… I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. And suddenly you’d be like, “honey, I want a chair”. I’d be like, “okay baby, let’s get you a chair”. Hahaha

Mija: When we’re talking. I feel like I can talk about anything with you, to you… regardless if it’s a good or bad thing. The mere thought that I can say anything out loud to you and address things with you.

Question 11: Is there anything you need/want/desire from me?

Mark: More back scratches and coffee.

Mija: Of course, the quality time but I also know that I cannot give it to you. So quits lang. Sometimes I still want to work after work. Sometimes I want to bug you but instead I do work stuff. So, wala hun. You’re patient, kinder and very generous to me…so nothing I could think of.

Question 12: Anything you want more of/less of?

Mark: I want more quality time even though alanganin sa oras. We can figure it out. Like I said, during the weekends, stop lahat. No work. No anything. Just hangout; then less of… I don’t know. I would say less of fighting kaya lang we don’t fight that often eh so kung maging less pa yun eh di na tayo nagaway. Abnormal na tayo. Lol. So I wouldn’t say less of anything. I’m perfectly fine with the things are they are right now.

Mija: I think I want more time of talking, like this. Lol Kasi ngayon lang tayo nakapag you know, watched a movie, answer these kinds of questions, basically hangout. We used to read to each other, do stuff together, like we really used to own the time to ourselves. For less of… Less of being forgetful? Lol.

Question 13: Is there anything you want that you’re embarrassed to ask for?

Mark: No… I can’t think of anything. Yeah… I’m pretty comfortable with you hun kaya kahit ano man hingiin ko sayo kahit sabihin mo hindi, okay lang. Lol

Mija: That thing happened there the other night. I was over there. I know it’s not that embarrassing but there have been a lot of people asking me the same question, repetitively. I think I get embarrassed to ask because every time when people would ask me, I feel this need to ask you again, or pass the question. I know we have a plan. It just sickens me at times and I’m gonna stop right here.

Question 14: What do I do that frustrates or annoys you?

Mark: Delayed utos mo hun. Lol. Mga last minute. For example may papagawa ka sa akin, “baby pababa nito”. Then babalik na ko sa work then after 5 minutes “baby, pababa nito”. Hindi ba pwedeng sabay-sabay para isang bagsakan. Lol

Mija: Minsan pag paulit ulit joke mo. Basta ang gulo mo kasi hun. Pero minsan nakakatawa naman talaga and ung random dance grooves mo.

Question 15: Is there anything you would like me to apologize for?

Mark: Everything we’ve gone through is for a reason so I don’t expect an apology from you.

Mija: Nothing. Cause you say sorry afterwards.

Question 16: Are you receiving enough affection from me?

Mark: Yeah… sometimes too much. Lol. And I appreciate that, don’t get me wrong, I really like it.

Mija: Yeah.

Question 17. What quality time activities would you like to put on the calendar?

Mark: I guess… medyo homebuddy kasi ako hun, anything we can do at home. But contrary to popular belief hun, I do want to go out sometimes. I do want to drink with you a bit more. You know cause sometimes why I want to go to Regner’s is I want a drinking buddy. Makaksama ko lang uminom. We don’t have to drink a lot, maybe just one bottle, that’s okay. But I’m not telling you to drink. Kahit samahan lang.

Mija: Doing bible study together and breakfast with you.

Question 18: Is there anything else you’d like to discuss?

Mark: Nope… I can’t think of anything right now.

Mija: Do you remember our Myerr-Briggs test? Based on the result, what personality do you see in me that you agree with?

Mark: I think you’re the ENFJ type but I also think you’re more of the ENTJ type. So, it’s a mix of both. Do you agree that I’m a Nurturer? (ISFJ)

Mija: Yeah, especially the start of pandemic. It was that heightened time of your nurturing to me but no to the point that I would take you as my therapist ok.

Mark: Yeah but we’re in a relationship so we should be able to talk about your feelings.

Mija: I think that’s what I needed the most cause it felt like it has gotten distorted last year. Physically and mentally, I’m okay. When I also returned to my bible study I know I can take it in. But it was the application that made it challenging. It was difficult for me to divert my old self to the version that I want to become so I’ve gotten really emotional over it. I also know that being emotional is not a good thing for me. But you being around, mas heightened your nurturing sa emotional and mental health ko. I appreciated you more than ever.

Mark: And you know I think we’re a good match in terms of personality traits because based on what I know about ENTJ and ENFJ, because you’re a commander and a protagonist, they always tend to be alone. Because they’re always at the front. They’re always commanding and like the one in charge. Or the forefront of everything. So nandun ka sa taas. You’re there. But who’s actually there with you. Based on our personality we’re a good match because you may be up there, but your loneliness and your issues, I can- not fix; I’m not saying I can fix them... but I’m your safety net.

Mija: You’re my backbone. You’re my anchor.

Mark: You could be the best commander, you could be like the best protagonist, just the word itself. The people in-charge, they’re always alone you know. They always think about things by themselves. They always take the responsibility of everything for themselves. They usually have issues it’s either mentally, emotionally or something else. But of course, they can’t really show it. I think we’re a good match, cause I can be your anchor as you said.

Mija: You are my love. But I also know that I’m not good at emotions.

Mark: It’s not a bad thing.

Mija: I hate it. One of the reasons also is I think I’m too much of an empath. I feel all these sorts of feelings around me and it can get exhausting at times. That’s why I do the things that I do because that’s what I’m best at. It doesn’t require me to be emotional and you as a partner, one of your characteristics is balance. You just know what to say, when to say, what to do and can make things easier for me.

Mark: Being emotional isn’t always bad. Sometimes it’s very healing. It just depends on the situation and context. If you’re making big decisions, you have to think logically. If someone passed away, malamang you can be emotional about it diba. Like what people say don’t make big decisions when you’re emotional. Don’t say anything bad when you’re angry. Things like that. I think we complement each other very well.

Mija: I love you hun.

My friends always tell us that we should take some time off of work. That's why on Sunday, on the 8th of December 2019, Mark and I have gone to Morong Bataan for a quick out-of-town vacation.

It was 3 o’clock early in the morning when we hit the road. Mark offered to drive all the way while I sat back and made sure we got everything we need. We stopped by the gasoline station to top up, bought some snacks and replenished our RFID load. I was ecstatic to leave because this trip has been a long-awaited plan ever since we became a couple. I tried to sleep on the way but my excitement kept me pretty distracted. Soon as we entered the highway, my eyes captured the beauty of the manicured light poles, an open road and the dark horizon stretched in the far distance. I can imagine how hollow it can be if we switched our lights off.

As we proceed further on our road trip, the sun slowly immersed and a rainbow appeared across the landscape, giving me a sense of beginning and hope. The view was completely magnificent. No amount of pictures could manifest the beauty I saw with my own eyes. There were highlands and terrains surround tiny villages on the sides of the road then I imagine how people cope up with their condition.

As we got closer to our destination, we opt to roll down our windows and feel the cold climate of the city. The breathtaking scenic views of Morong were filled with lush green trees, bushy plants, rustling leaves, and winding hilly roadways with birds fluttering and crickets chirping around. 

We arrived safely at the resort at 8 o'clock. The White Coral Beach Resort is known as one of the premier destinations in Bataan. It's a 4-hour drive and about 200 kilometers away from Las Pinas. The resort is a full-service facility providing lodging, food, bar, sports, entertainment, and shopping. We were thrilled with the "home away from home" ambiance and different activities to choose from. In the meantime, we decided to unload our belongings and settled in our room.

Every trip needs a generously-sized bag which is why Mark and I combined our stuff in one suitcase. I prefer to pack everything than end up missing our tech-essentials and beach must-haves:

clothes

a couple of swimsuits

two woven hats

kaftan and sundress

eyewear

footwear

a set of bath essentials: shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, lip balm, bath soap, wipes, hair ties, toothbrush, drier, ziplock

sunblock

a nice tote bag

a power bank and chargers

a Bluetooth speaker

a DSLR camera

snacks, water bottles

cellphones, keys, and wallet

After figuring out what to do next, Mark and I headed to the restaurant to grab brunch. Looking back, I wonder why I never took the time off. I remember I was expected to come to work whenever my siblings take vacations. Then it seemed even more impossible when I opened the business last year; and considering my partner's graveyard shift on weekdays and culinary classes on weekends. While traveling can be as expensive as a fancy purse, we also see it as something our time can't permit. I mean, we barely catch 6 hours of sleep. However, we're not those people who say you should never travel. We are finally getting around to finding the time and building memories together outside of work.

We returned into our room to take a nap. It was past 3 p.m. when we had our lunch and by then there weren't many people around us. We were lucky cause the weather was perfect and we got the place mostly to ourselves. We spent our time laughing, talking, taking pictures, while the warmth of the sun embraces our skin. We were not worried about what was going to happen next because we were consumed by what was right in front of us. I'm just grateful to connect with him in such a way we don't necessarily have to be critical on several topics. I couldn't think of any place except hang on the beach and experience freedom with my boyfriend.

It's almost sunset... the fresh wind blowing through my hair, and the sound of the ocean lulling me to sleep But before the night ends, we went to Subic and ate dinner at Texas Joe's House of Ribs. This time I drove back to the hotel because Mark was already tired. The next morning, we had a continental breakfast and we pretty much did the same things from yesterday.

Traveling is one of the first things we've done together and it revealed positive qualities about our relationship and who we are to each other. One of the things that I like about Mark is he never complained about anything. He has been very engaged on this trip in spite of the long drive and the work tasks he's got on his phone. I will always be thankful for his love because I've never been loved and cared for like the way he does, and I pray we'll remain the same till we grow old. It's just quite sad that we had to go home already. On the flip side, we would be able to finally be with Ony, our fur baby. For now, we have to attend to our jobs and plan our next event in February.

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2. A. Your biggest lessons from 2019 - The first was, “Like on an airplane, you have to put on your oxygen mask before you can help someone else put on theirs. I learned that I have to take care of myself before I’m even qualified to take care of someone else.” I loved this metaphor because it clearly communicates what's often a counterintuitive idea for many people. I’ve written that we often seek to take care of others as a way to avoid the responsibility for taking care of ourselves. But this seemingly noble impulse ultimately hurts both people.

2. B.The second lesson was, “Dignity is finite, don’t squander yours.” Many of us trade a little bit of our dignity to cash in on some material pleasures. We lie to get ahead at work. Or we do something we later regret so somebody will like us. In a vacuum, these seem to be harmless little trades. They’re a bunch of little, “Ah, nobody will notice, so what’s the big deal?” But add together enough “what’s the big deals” and you end up with one big, “what the fuck have I done with my life?” I’ve written before that dignity is something incredibly difficult to get back once lost, whereas most of the things we trade it for (approval, material success, sex, etc.) are easily recouped once lost. Don’t trade your dignity. It’s one of your most unique and precious possessions.

Derive Café: Sip, Dine and Play!

2019, January 9: Mock Opening

It was one sunny afternoon when we arrived at Derive Café. Take a step back and let the retro graphic walls, bright neon lights, and bulky arcade games transport you back in time.

Derive Café is a good place where you can eat, drink and play. The place is friendly and stylish. Mark enjoyed his continental meal with a raspberry mocha drink while I had some ratatouille pasta, twisty fries, and iced mocha drink. We spent most of our time talking, playing and taking photos. 

What I also liked, in particular, was the combination of the black borders, gold accents and the marble surface that I think made the ambiance more classic and bold. And the food? Expect they'll serve more delicious dishes with a twist. I mean other than it’s IG worthy, Derive Café is definitely one of the restaurants perfect for family and barkada hangouts!

I would like to thank Ivy, Bry and the rest of Derive Café team for trusting JMGT with their uniforms. Congratulations, on this venture!