1. The most important skill to learn... is how to learn - As this decade comes to a close, I look back at all I’ve learned and all that’s changed. I'm blown away not only by how unpredictable the course of my life has been, but also how unpredictable the world has been in the past 10 years. Pretty much nothing I expected (nor anyone else expected) to happen this decade is what actually happened. I'm still young enough to be surprised by this. But I suppose I will be less surprised in the ensuing years.
2. A. Your biggest lessons from 2019 - The first was, “Like on an airplane, you have to put on your oxygen mask before you can help someone else put on theirs. I learned that I have to take care of myself before I’m even qualified to take care of someone else.” I loved this metaphor because it clearly communicates what's often a counterintuitive idea for many people. I’ve written that we often seek to take care of others as a way to avoid the responsibility for taking care of ourselves. But this seemingly noble impulse ultimately hurts both people.
2. B.The second lesson was, “Dignity is finite, don’t squander yours.” Many of us trade a little bit of our dignity to cash in on some material pleasures. We lie to get ahead at work. Or we do something we later regret so somebody will like us. In a vacuum, these seem to be harmless little trades. They’re a bunch of little, “Ah, nobody will notice, so what’s the big deal?” But add together enough “what’s the big deals” and you end up with one big, “what the fuck have I done with my life?” I’ve written before that dignity is something incredibly difficult to get back once lost, whereas most of the things we trade it for (approval, material success, sex, etc.) are easily recouped once lost. Don’t trade your dignity. It’s one of your most unique and precious possessions.
