only fools rush in

“I’ve never been sure of anything. I overthink, over-analyze, over complicate every decision I ever have to make because I’m scared of making the wrong one. But you’re different. I feel it in my gut, in my soul. You’re the one thing I’ve ever been sure of.”

“When I said I’d follow you anywhere, I assumed you’d be smart enough to know I wouldn’t run myself off this bridge just because you decided to. I’m in love - not stupid.”

“Despite my own foolishness and inability to make the right decisions, I’m begging the universe for the courage to let me choose you.”

“It’s selfish - you keep him around as your lover just so you won’t lose your best friend.”

Out of Curiosity...

“Save me from myself and I swear

A string of numerous maybes and broken plans tend to leave their marks upon your skin, etching each permanent reminder of another who cared less than you onto a muddied canvas.

He came back into my life like a storm that stirred my emotions into waves and flooded my heart.

You're allowed to cry. It mattered. It wouldn't hurt this much if it didn't matter.

I think every part of me knew I had to let him go, owing him no explanation nor myself the time to second guess and change my mind. But I wanted him; I wanted to know him, to be close and understand him in ways in which others cannot. And if I pushed just a little bit harder, and if he only opened his heart just that tiny bit more, I would get what I want. But pushing exhausts the muscles, owning the ability to yield sore hearts as well as arms - and my heart has been aching for far too long.

There are some days, maybe too many, where everything seems impossible; facing the world becomes a chore, and moments which once instilled an exhilarating excitement in my veins are things that now proceed to stop my heart all together. It’s hard, but everyone knows that. You know that. No one is immune to the hardships of life, even though for some the degree of those setbacks, and the mental toll they take, is far more than for others. But every feeling is valid. Every moment in which you think to yourself how terrible your day is going is valid, and no one should ever tell you otherwise. There’s a beauty to our hardships that comes out of every morning that we choose to wake up, to consciously open our eyes and tell the world that we will once again conquer the myriad of obstacles it throws our way. That’s where the beauty lies in this world: in each of us, when we refuse to give up.

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That’s the good thing about a clean break: you spend a lot less time getting your heart broken.

I caught his glance, and all at once the bustling crowd and roaring voices that surrounded me from all sides began slipping away into a blurring haze. Time fought to stay alive, exponentially slowing as my heart began to race faster and faster, until it could no longer put up a fight. Then it stood still. The physical distance between us faded into nonexistence, and was instead replaced by a tentative, electric longing that simultaneously terrified and thrilled me. But in the infinite battle of struggling emotions, apprehension beat out desire and forced my eyes from his and towards the floor, regrettably breaking a fathomless tension that had become so familiar to the both of us. I knew that later on we'd smile at each other as if nothing had happened, stubbornly and silently denying the unmentionable reality that is us.

As she walked into the room her eyes avoided his as best they could, but they failed. They always failed. But this time he was waiting for her to look, waiting for her to catch his glance; and when she did everything else slowly faded away. She dared a smile, feeling braver than ever, and she could have sworn he was about to smile back. She could have sworn he was about to look at her the way he used to. It was almost perfect, and then he looked past her towards another who had just walked in, and the almost-smile was replaced with an actual smile. She almost got that smile. She almost got her hope back. And even though she knew that he hadn’t deliberately ignored her, and that he was merely responding to an old friend who happened to stumble in behind her at the worst possible moment, she couldn’t help but be sick of all the almosts that existed between them.

I was just holding on to something that no longer existed, and it was pathetic.