It was a LOT of fun editing my #acting #showreel today. Having just handed in another book, I've started to think about what I want to do in film. When I first started making a living on books, I said to myself that this was what I wanted to concentrate on. I love writing, and I also wanted to move to the states to be with my partner, where I knew I wouldn't be able to act, because of my visa. In addition, the acting world at that time was not what I hoped it would be - almost every role offered to me (not including some notable exceptions, like a sci-fi feature, or a gorgeously shot French short) was the role of the victim, the pretty girlfriend who doesn't say much, and (mostly) the whore. It's weird to be 19, and have people ring you up asking if you could show up the next day, wear some underwear, and say nothing. Frankly, it's the say nothing part that got to me. I wanted to use my body and life to inspire women, not to be part of the system that relegates them to supporting roles. I feel like things are changing now; things have changed. There still isn't the range of roles for women that men enjoy, but it's getting better. I was happy to see, when I edited this, and looked back on my past work, that I did manage to find myself the kind of roles I wanted to play - the fighter, the leader, the soldier, the sex-positive, the scientist. I don't regret taking a step back, because I will always write. I'm proud of my what I've done with my life, & that Golden Boy has touched so many lives. I also don't regret that choice because I didn't want to play those parts that made me question my own integrity, & that weren't fun! I'm back in the UK for a while, working on some book projects, & I know I'm up to speed enough with writing now to start also doing the type of acting I really enjoy again, with an added bonus: I now have the money, resources, experience, and talented allies to make my own work as well, and that's my aim. To continue the journey that started with making a trailer for #Flick and led to Girlboy's #musicvideos. I wonder what the next production will be. Watch this space. #femaledirector #actress #actor #editing #author #creative #excited #ready 💙
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