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Predictive text knows what's up

my keyboard

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the hunger

why would he eat like that

teathattast

the hunger

hayley566

The cronch goblin

thottielamottie

me at the craquer barrél when they bring my mac and cheese out

racingbarakarts

My fiancé just whispered in my ear, “you’re my secret Santa”

so I said “what?”

And he went, “ah shit I meant soulmate”

racingbarakarts

The boy forgot the word for soulmate and his brain thought, “it’s called secret Santa”

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talkgentlytome

mercedesbenzodiazepine

catchymemes

severestudentsoulampomothill1972

Meet Women Looking For Sex! Sex Dating Site For People Who Want Sex, Join Free.

m4a1-shermayne

This turtle is in hell and all you can think about is cum

boota

turing-tested

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mitochondriaandbunnies

Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.

elemeno-pee

Bringing back Long Ziti for another round because it’s just too funny

cricketsqueak

real life creepypasta

#always reblog long ziti

c-bassmeow

dashaibo

Gay people from 1950-2010: we are human just like you, we’re not another species or a subculture, the only difference is that we are attracted to the same gender.

Gay people in 2018: straight people are stinky, WIG!

if-only-angels-could-prevail

straight people ARE stinky

if-only-angels-could-prevail

wig!

salty-red-mage

d-sneyprincess

the-man-and-the-mouse

even the princesses fangirl over peter

except aurora

that bitch be faithful

theincredibleelastigirl

look at phillip though

can you blame her?

hecallsmepineappleprincess

Goddamn. Phillip could get the business.

queer-nihilist

So I went to Disney about a month ago and i got to meet aurora. she asked me and my mom if there were any “princes’” with us today. When I told her that I leaned more toward princesses she looked over at Cinderella sighed and replied with “yeah me too” and I think about that a lot.

swagakuya-brogami-deactivated20

Oh my

dankmemeuniversity

swarnpert

wine tasting but instead with hard liquors

swarnpert

do i detect a hint of sharpie marker

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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wlwellbutrin

one of my friends who never uses facebook just logged in to post “currently going beastmode on the fool who pilfered my lint roller”

wlwellbutrin

gaypeopletwitter

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