SILLY 100%

Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.

So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.

But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.

It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?

So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:

Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.

And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.

So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".

So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.

My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.

Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.

Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.

Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).

Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues

According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.

Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.

For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.

Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life

Aaand a close-up:

HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE

The only other thing is that not all USB-C cables are created equally. The form factor is standardized, the insides are not, some shitty, cheap, cables are only rated for data not power, or for low power needs. You can search for charging cable to make sure you get one intended for power transfer.

ARTFIGHT GRAPHICS!! 1/2

for team tragedy...

...and for team comedy!!

tumblr user wizard0rb's video essay choice awards:

(note: i'm using the term "video essay" to broadly refer to long form videos on youtube. not all of these are essays)

The Other Half of the West (A Travelogue) - Noah Caldwell-Gervais

This one goes at the top of the list in the hopes that you read it first, it sticks in your mind the most, and you watch it in full. Genuine contender for greatest piece of long form content on Youtube. Noah makes videos about games as well, but this is his best work imo.

Metal Gear Solid 4 was a Mistake - Steak Bentley

The definitive take on an absolutely insane piece of fiction. Funny enough that you can enjoy it even if you don't know anything about MGS. Steak Bentley is genuinely one of the best to ever do it.

THE PISS SAGA | Short Documentary - Derek Milton

A brief investigative documentary concerning the bottles of human piss that keep mysteriously appearing on an electrical box in California.

who firebombed friendlyjordies? - friendlyjordies

0% clickbait- someone firebombed Australian Youtuber friendlyjordies' house, and this is the video he made trying to figure out who did it.

The Tyler Perry Video - F.D Signifier

I was struggling to pick a single FD video for this list (because they're all so good), so I went with his most recent one. Go watch this video and then go watch all his other videos.

a normal creepypasta retrospective - hazel

An exceptionally good retrospective on some interesting creepypastas like The Peeker, Gabbit Rabbits, ShareThis, etc.

The Unreality of Pro Wrestling: FINISH THE STORY - Super Eyepatch Wolf

I wasn't originally going to put an Eyepatch Wolf video on here, for the same reason there's no hbomberguy or Defunctland- I feel like most people are already familiar with his stuff. But this video made me go from not giving a fuck about pro wrestling at all, to being deeply invested in a fight between 2 dudes I had previously never heard of, so it makes the list.

NEED FOR SPEED - A Brief History - Noodle

I want you to close your eyes and enter the Theatre of the Mind with me. Imagine, if you will, a reality in which Sequelitis was extremely good, and also made by someone else. Now open your eyes. You were so powerful that you brought that vision back with you into the material world.

The search for the saddest punt in the world | Chart Party - Secret Base

Jon Bois of 17776 fame once again making compelling football media that is accessible to the layman.

Art in the Pre-Apocalypse - Jacob Geller

My favorite video from a channel that pretty much never makes bad videos, Jacob Geller talks about living at the cusp of the end of the world. And also Final Fantasy

BONUS SINCE I'M HERE: OTHER NOTABLE YOUTUBE VIDEOS I ENJOY

these are just some youtube videos i like. no description because i think you should experience them without pretense

Badass swords AND grim reapers.

how to make pickle pepsi at home for free

Homemade dinosaur documentary

When the lights go out at night #shorts #viral

Drinking Orange Crush

Hermeto Pascoal - Música da Lagoa (Sinfonia do Alto Ribeira, 1985)

Center Core Never More

Lil’ Slimer - Online Video

My Movie

Japanese toilet experience 1

When you play games in your dreams, you don't use a controller, do you?

Cocaine & Crack

Give it All You've Got