Ruby

there is nothing that should be or shouldn't be

there is no question like "I'm not sure that it's relevant or not"

http://www.echelman.com/

these are from Japanese Artist (Designer?) Masahiko Sato + Tatsuya Saito, their show "Putting Finger"

I always love this idea which used to appear in children's book! (I love books designed for children especially when there are different materials for them to touch!)

Jennings XD

It's always so nice to get this email from my mentor!!!!!!!!!!! Not only because it's show how they care about you, but also those words are written down so I can read it through as many times as I want hahahaha

things to think about:

unpack the word "interactivity". what's behind it for you? is it a way to inter-act with other people through a shared object or idea? is it a game with a goal for you or them?

inter, active. there's two words/ideas there. are people (or you) acting with the object? or the person, and "any" object would do? (obviously not literally "any")

(about the skype from mom) so in your writing, you could intersperse/insert a sentence or two about works that may be related to what you've written. just another random thought.

while talking about the word "inter-active" recently always make me think of Tom Leeser's "play-active". I like the idea and remember clearly that he mentioned once about the so-called interactive installations, which are buttons that trigger certain things, and is not real "interactive" but using a different interface. I think the problem is the "one to one" here. if it's not on, it's off. that kind of things

After that I thought a lot about it, and figured out that if not building something with machine learning algorithm, the only thing that can solve the one to one situation is the story and personal experience either from the creator or the audience. the interaction between people here is more important

I know it's not a good time for watching TV series but I'm waaaaaay too curious how will they show the life in SV!!!

I'm sure it won't be better than the big bang theory and Sheldon is the best!!! lol

The reason I post this here is because I heard a sentence that went at least three times in the first episode, which made it sound so contradictory and hilarious.

They all talked about that they just want to make the world better.

It's quite sad that before I came to CalArts, I thought in the same way. however after thinking and seeing more, I really don't know that what we are doing are making the world better or worse? how do you define better here?

What if I truly want to make contribution to human kind as well as the mother earth, what can I actually do ??????? To be a useful person is also my goal, but I really don't know how to define useful now, and even if it's a stupid goal or not

I happened to watch the last speech from Hannah Arendt in the Hannah Arendt movie today and had a lot of feelings ...

She was talking about the Banality of Evil, which is about the real evil from the people who don't think.

She raised the question of whether evil is radical or simply a function of thoughtlessness, a tendency of ordinary people to obey orders and conform to mass opinion without a critical evaluation of the consequences of their actions and inaction.

Tom Leeser told me about this philosopher before but things about her are too hard for me to read in English ... so I never got the idea, until I saw the movie clip.

I think the training here is to avoid myself becoming one of the banality. Although I might just be an ordinary person, but the ability of thinking and self awareness won't make me do something without carefulness.

Before this I usually don't like to think about myself deeply ... my lack of confident always effect on my thinking and I'll end up with thinking myself stupid and weak and terrible

Also I don't like to think about social issues deeply .... what a lazy person! Because every time I think through an issue and care about it and think about how to contribute, it will end up thinking myself a tiny bit in the world and cannot do anything significant to change/improve the situation ... unless I go for politics lol

the effect after thinking this much about myself

today I saw a news about a Taipei First Girl High School (my high school ) student who got offers from the top program from each group: Financial, Engineering and Medical

this is ridiculous !!!!! these field are so different from each other that makes me feel like the girl is purely just way too smart and know how to study and test, but not knowing what is her love and interests. I don't know her but that's how I feel after seeing the news, and the reason that this thing can get on news is from the social expectation toward students!!!!!

My practice is a journey of seeking liberation.

As a Taiwanese girl who grew up in a traditional family, it took me a lot of courage to switch my field from Computer Science to Art, more than to study abroad. For me, studying abroad is just the beginning of setting myself free by changing my physical environment. However, after two years of practice, I find out that the strongest barrier for me is no longer the expectations from my parents, my families, or society, but myself. I constantly want to be special and people to agree that I am special. The struggle of looking for validation appears in my practice, while on the other hand, I truly want to live in confidence without loading people’s opinions on myself.

if asking for validation and feeling vulnerable is normal and universal and everyone has this feeling, then what make me special ?????????????

Tom Leeser mentioned something about ...

the cultural background and experience will contribute on my insight of seeing things

and then before I leave here, I have to find a way to establish a framework of thinking things. well, does writing this tumblr count? when I drove home tonight with full of thoughts in my brain, the first thing I thought about is to write them down in the tumblr! first step of making a habit! scored!

Most of the time I feel like I still can't understand a whole sentence from Tom Leeser ... although this year I realized that the reason might be that he always talks like a well-written book, which I might need to read every paragraph three times to get the idea ... = =

Tom Jennings also said that the thesis developing process is to reach a level of self awareness. it might be painful and feel vulnerable but it's normal ... what a relief!

I hate getting people down... I can feel the emotion immediately

After the conversation with Abby, I realized that my need for validation and the reason of why I am afraid of failure are the result from how perfect my mom want me to be during my school years, from elementary school to college. Abby pointed out that I attended top school in Taiwan, and might be portrayed as a "successful student" figure, but still talking about pressure ... sounds weird? but at the same time no.

The feeling of never getting perfect done is always hopeless. Never know if this is good enough. When will it be good enough? How long do I spend will make it "enough"? What if there are still people who don't like it, regardless the fact that we can't make every single person happy. Sometimes when the situation become serious, I choose to put it off until I can't, and rely on the inspiration that might pop up in the sprint. After a short time loose work I can tell myself it's just because the time is not enough. If there's enough time, I can do better. That might be true but will never happen if I don't jump out of the cycle.

Sometimes I feel like seeking validation is a way to avoid the responsibility for myself. I'll still take the actual responsibility, but the one I'm avoiding is emotional. If people like my works, then I did a great job, and vice versa.

Artist

after conversation with D : things to think about

Q&A form: listing questions and record people's answer

what do I think about "liberation"? what does "liberation" mean to me?

What do I think about the difference between "liberated from validation" (exit) and "critiquing the validation" (voice). 

open up the last paragraph, rethink about the terms

count how many "I", "me", "myself" are in the article

Danielle said that we are all living in a world of validation, even in the education system right now, from the time we apply for a MFA degree, we are asking for validation.