Lost

I feel like a total jerk, saying all these harsh things and now I’m just confused. If I don’t push them away, my mental health is gonna take a hit. My overthinking goes into overdrive, my anxiety spikes and when I’m not talking to them, I finally feel calm. But they’re so persistent like idk what to do. I HAVE to be mean ‘cause if I act normal, they don’t get the message. I seriously don’t know how to cut them off. Now my head hurts again and the overthinking’s back after they texted again.

Omg finally done with it T_T

This was WILD but guess what??? RIGHT when I finished it, a new sequel dropped TODAY!! Like is this a coincidence or FATE?? The timing is crazy :'>

————————————

Anyway lemme tell you about the Winter arc real quick. But first, I gotta say—I underestimated Gaeul. In the autumn arc, I didn’t really pay much attention to her but now I totally get her. Like imagine living when it feels harder than dying... just trying to survive everyday. And asking for help? That's a whole different struggle (big respect to her for admitting to her mom she was being bullied)

I'm so glad things worked out for Dongchae, Eunchae and Gyuri in the end... such a relief. But when Dongchae jumped off the building and Jaemin and Subin caught him?? Broo I cried. That moment was so intense for everyone. And Hamin has such a huge impact on everyone.

Did y'all notice Jaemin’s baby sister is named Somin?? That’s literally Somang and Hamin combined T_T

Also random thought... do you think Subin’s friend with the glasses (forgot his name) might end up with Somang? I know it sounds greedy but she’s too young to spend her whole life alone. I still believe that love only happens once and it’s hard to move on. But still, I want Somang to live a happy life. It feels selfish but I want someone to be there for her too when everyone else moves on...

As for the sequel, I’ll talk about that in another blog.

This is my current FAV webtoon and it’s gonna be my fave for a long time T_T

Omg I finished Gaeul’s Flower too... Seonhui and Jaehyeon bruhh T_T Love how Jaehyeon’s so mature and at the last sec he’s like "I can’t give up on her" and runs to Seonhui. And Seonhui too, when Jaemin made her realize who she’s been thinking about all along. That moment when she climbed the tree for the maple leaf had me :')

And also it's so cute when Seonhui said to Jaemin "My first love was precious and I don't regret it."

For Gaeul and Subin, it’s like this whole misunderstanding-revenge-first-love vibe. Then Gaeul moved to England, sooo yeah. But tbh more than Gaeul’s story, I’m way more into Seonhui and Jaehyeon’s! Gaeul’s kinda didn’t click with me that much, just my own opinion.

Lowkey felt bad for Jaemin tho... his first love and childhood friend are dating now >_<

I’ve read a few chapters of the winter arc and maybe this girl Eunchae’s gonna have some story dev with Jaemin? Let’s see...

————————————————

After Hamin in the summer arc, it’s like every character in each arc is dealing with something heavy like fr struggling in life. And they’re always mentioning the weather when they’ve had enough like "It’s so beautiful."

Plus everyone blames themselves for what happened to Hamin— Somang, Jaemin, his parents, Seonhui and now Dongchae too. This arc's about being bullied too.

(winter arc)

—————————————

So it suddenly hit me that I’ve cut off all the toxic people around me. It happened spontaneously. Honestly, I always planned to do it but couldn’t cause of my attachments. Even though they hurt me, I stayed... thinking I was being overdramatic. I heard for years that nothing is that big of a deal and I'm just too sensitive. I was surrounded by toxic people and manipulated into thinking it was okay to get hurt again and again. I’d cry under my blanket all night and thought it was normal. I was too naive to realize that if I was getting hurt, it wasn’t okay. Why should I care if someone thinks I’m overdramatic? I should focus on my own feelings.

I cringed at myself lately cause I was acting out of character. That’s not who I am. They kept saying they cared but honestly it makes me want to vomit thinking about their words. It was just so cringe and I regret being like that.

I always thought if I didn’t have friends, I’d be miserable but here I am. I only cried while reading Hamin's Flower recently and my heart feels so chill and light now. So was isolation my winter arc? Or maybe it’s more about cutting out toxicity from my life.

You don’t have to plan your winter arc or make it super productive. Just doing one good thing for yourself by listening to your feelings can change everything.

Have you guys heard about the winter arc? I don’t really get it. People are talking about starting new hobbies and staying productive like it’s a fresh start. Someone asked me what I’m doing for my winter arc and I was confused. They said it’s like a New Year’s list for things you want to start. But honestly, I never stick to my new year's resolutions. Waking up early, studying for 10 hours, no junk food, three meals a day, drinking lots of water- aren’t these just some basic things? As I was writing it down, I thought what am I even doing? So I asked them what I should do instead. I don’t want those things since I’ve failed at keeping my resolutions always. They said winter arc is about regret, change and growth. I still didn’t get it at that time.

Anyway I'm thinking about what else to start. I’m currently reading Seasons of Blossom, The Worst Villainess, Selfish Romance, Baby Tyrant, In Between and The Fish I Loved. I’ve finished a few too and I’ll write reviews for them soon!

Just finished Hamin's Flower and tbh I knew it’d hit like this… heavy weight, crying my eyes out, runny nose, the whole thing… Like we all knew what was comin’ in the end so even the cute happy parts didn’t hit right. Just this big void yk?

How Hamin went through it all… and how it was literally everyone’s fault but also no one's at the same time… and Jaemin too, struggling tryna act all radiant like he's got it together.

I didn’t even realize how much I was crying till I stopped like what if my family saw and was like "yo! you’re crying over a webtoon instead of studying?" Like what do I even say? They’d be like “why read something that makes you cry? Go prep for your entrance!”

I knew the story was gonna feel incomplete but I still had to finish it.

And all these what-ifs tho… like what if Somang saw his text that day… what if Hamin didn’t hear Jaemin say that… what if Hamin had real friends to rely on… what if his mom wasn’t like that… But nahh there’s no ifs and buts in this. Sometimes it’s just how it goes.

I already hated summer and after this, imma keep hating it. It’s too radiant idk why people need to be all radiant all the time. Can’t they just be enough? Please don’t be so radiant and take on all the burden. I hate summers.

Yoooo I totally loved it. The main male lead Kim Jae-Ha was totally my type- introverted and considerate. And omoo when he got shy, his red ears!!! I’m dead.

Totally thought Jimin was gonna be a playboy. But when you get into his backstory and his one-sided crush on Se-i? That hit different.

And yeahh the emotional touch with the families? Both Jae-Ha and Se-i had their own stuff going on. Se-i's mom kinda came off as selfish at times, always wanting someone around for herself. Like I felt that for a sec but then again idk maybe it was just a passing thought.

As for the second leads, in the last spin-offs we finally saw some story development with them too. Soooo wowww!! it ended really well huh?

One thing I really vibed with in this Webtoon is how Rowoon is kinda slow at catching feelings but when he finally realized he’s in love with Kang Doha, he was like "I’m all in!" Even when she tried to manipulate him saying it’s just cause she’s his advisor or whatever, he wasn’t havin' it. My man was like “nah I’m proving this is real love.” Major W!

The other characters tho… lowkey disappointing. They could’ve done way more with Izzy and Ha Theo. Like they really rushed things between them at the end and it just didn’t hit right for me. It’s giving mid.

But yo!! Sookyum is my fave for real!!! His dad forced him to get close to Izzy but when he knew he had no shot and started catching feelings for Doha, he didn’t get all salty when she turned him down. She was like “I’m not tryna date in school” and then boom, she ends up with Rowoon. And even tho sookyum still liked her, he took it like a champ. Dude didn’t throw a fit or anything. He even helped Rowoon and Doha get together! That’s some next-level maturity, not like those second leads who just won’t quit. He’s a whole green flag, no cap! 🥹🥹

Am I too late in this? I started reading Seasons of Blossom, finished Bomi's Flower and now I'm on Hamin's Flower.

Bomi's Flower felt so comforting... The start of youth and that innocent love... But honestly, one thing I never get in webtoons like this is how they fall in love so fast. Like, Jinyeong never really talked to her, he just saw her from afar. Is it even possible to fall in love like that? All I can see is he see that Bomi tries hard to be nice, sometimes it's to a very discomfort extent.

I do love how Bomi feels comfortable around Jinyeong and sometimes goes out of character with him. And I get why she eventually falls for him after spending time together. But to think how Jinyeong already fell for her tho... Idk maybe love really does just happen in a moment ig.

It ended well for them tho. Now I’m wondering if Jaemin and Seonhui will get more story development... Also, I kinda love the height difference! T_T

As for Hamin, ik how it’s going to end... but I’ve read a few chapters and seeing someone like him take his own life... Wow! I’m already heartbroken. Idk how I’ll keep reading without crying my eyes out....