s a m.

     ‘  so,  you’re telling me.  ’  she’s quiet about this,  because.  well,  it sounds crazy,  but….  sam isn’t a liar,  is he ?  and if there’s even an inkling of truth to what he’s saying….  ‘  hunter kidnapped you ?  the same guy who has never done any of the puzzles right,  that’s an act or something ?  ’

@illumihimbo​

@illumihimbo​ said - ❝ do you want to go outside for a bit? ❞

———     𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐄'𝐒      𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐂𝐊      𝐈𝐍      𝐀      𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐋      𝐆𝐎𝐖𝐍   .   it’s      ridiculous      ,      honestly      .      she      should      be     𝑙𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔      𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ      ℎ𝑒𝑟      𝑠𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑛      𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠      𝑎𝑛𝑑      𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔      𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡      𝑡𝑜      𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑟      𝑡𝑜      𝑡ℎ𝑒      𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡      𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡      (      maybe      even      studying     )      or      𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠      𝐟𝐨𝐫      𝐭𝐡𝐞      𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭      𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞      ;      not      confined      to      a      hospital      bed      .      god      ,      she      feels      so      stupid      .       plus      ?      she’s      spent      far      too      long      in      the      bed      without      makeup      .      ❪   𝑎𝑛𝑑      𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ      𝑣𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑠      ,      𝑜𝑓      𝑎𝑙𝑙      𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠      .     ❫  

     ❛   go      outside      ?      looking      like      this   ?      are      you      mental      ?     ❜       there’s      a      frown      on      peony      lips      ,      and      the      always      confident      claire      carters      can’t      meet      his      eyes      .      she’s      a      𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃      𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐄      in      this      moment      ,      bruised      and      bent      out      of      shape      .      ❛           .      .      .      it      doesn’t      matter       ———        not      like      a      little      sunlight      will      fix      everything    .   ❜

@vainests​   —>    ☎

NAME:   cee

RINGTONE:   god save the prom queen

PICTURE:

LAST TEXT RECEIVED:

FROM:   CEE   —>   i’m fine sam, really.

LAST TEXT SENT:

@maisonite​   --->    ☎

NAME:   asshole

RINGTONE:   generic ringtone

PICTURE:

LAST TEXT RECEIVED:

FROM:   ASSHOLE   --->   if you need help with any of your business classes i can help you.

LAST TEXT SENT:

sam would vape.

𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑.   a chill right down to the bones. tobogganing.  teeth chattering.  sleeping all day.  sitting by the fireplace. spending time with family. layered clothing. seeing another’s breath. loving the cold.  a state of inactivity. cold hands. blistering winds shaking the closed windows.  a bookcase full of brand new books and all of the time in the world to read them.  cable knit socks. a bitter remark.  a log cabin in the middle of nowhere. hating the cold. full length windows to peer out of. pale skin. deep conversations. watching the snow fall.  sharp edges. hot cocoa.  smelling every candle in the store. a wild snow storm. melancholy. lighting candles around the bathtub. snow globes.  expressing yourself but never finding quite the right words. the softest of blankets. liking, but not loving something or someone.

𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆.   the smell after it rains. being in control of yourself.  a soft breeze blowing your hair. lightning when it strikes.  cherry blossoms.  bright mornings.  the first sign of hope. the relief of finding something you lost. paris in the spring. birds chirping. the art of growing.  a kiss on the cheek. the clap of thunder.  a tornado in the valley. smiling at a stranger.   planning. saccharine pinks.  making promises.  trying something new.  hugs when you need them the most.  a bee sting. sitting on the steps of the met.  coming inside drenched from the thunderstorm.  picnics on a red checkered blanket in the new sun. a long hike. rushing when you can take your time.  going to the gym / training at ungodly hours. excitement for what’s coming. becoming yourself.  rain boots.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑.   lanterns lit around a campfire. seeing the sunrise like it’s the first time again and again. melting ice cream. the warmth of sun rays upon skin. fireworks.  the feeling of never wanting something to end. beach days. the lone blow up floaty left in the pool. drifting with the warm nights breeze and nothing else.  music blasting at 3 am. loud and proud. palm trees on sunset boulevard. longer days and shorter nights.  wanderlust.  nights spent staring at the stars.  sand castles.  road trips.  blood orange sunsets.  leaving the laundry to hang outside. flowers in bloom. sneaking out of your room late at night.  pure contentment. barefoot in the sand. the street lights coming on.  the sound of the ocean in a seashell.  freshly squeezed lemonade. loose clothing.  a cannonball into the pool.  sunflowers. the hazy pink before dusk. relaxation.

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐌𝐍.   the leaves changing colors.  a heavy backpack. the smell of old books.  eating until you’re stuffed. deep, dark woods. the silence in loudness. abandoned houses.  ripped jeans. crunching leaves beneath feet. feeling like you’ve been somewhere before. sitting at a bay window. having endless amount of work. charcoal drawings.  screaming into a pillow as loud as you can. pumpkin patches.  creaky floorboards.  accepting that some things do have to change.  museums.  small talk. being ignored.  procrastinating.  a door slamming shut.  going to bed early. baking pies. the fear of walking alone in the dark. feeling completely and terribly lost. a twig snapping. crisp, cool days.  belly laughter after crying.  converse.  foggy mornings at the shoreline. writing a daily entry in a journal. a lonely day.

         “      i just don’t understand    ---      ”      there’s almost an anger lacing his words, somewhere between that   &    confusion   /   frustration.     “     you literally could have just let me walk away. i probably.... okay, yeah, i wouldn’t have known anything was up. so why didn’t you just send me away ?      ”

         “     don’t you think it’s weird, man,      ”      the words come out slowly as he thinks through his words, trying to find the best way to make them sound, form them, have them understood.     “    that it’s only our friends where bad things happen ? first claire, then, well... me, now alex ? maybe there’s someone we shouldn’t trust.      ”

         “     i’m not saying this all sounds crazy or like, doesn’t make any sense or something   ---     ”      though, he’s not going to admit that’s what he was thinking, as he chews on the thing plastic coffee stirrer.      “      i’m just saying, i’m pretty sure they’re a fake group. just a joke, you know ?     ”