ILLUDERELICT

continuing from my original random dialogue series  ( 1.0 | 1.5 ),  i thought to create a brand new one for even more (random) situations! the following prompts are from a variety of public sources, as well as my own. as always, some triggering content may be present! change any pronouns to better suit your muse(s) needs!

thank you for agreeing to help.

sorry, it’s just that i get very nervous when someone else is driving.

i sense tension…

there’s a reason i keep this door closed.

i can’t believe you would do this to me!

there’s nothing reassuring about what you just said.

i thought we’d be safe here.

thanks for looking out for me.

i’m right here.

thinking about it makes me sick.

i’m not asking.

c’mon, i’ll drive you home.

there’s something i’ve been meaning to tell you.

hey, you owe me this favour.

i want to be there when you get what’s coming to you.

you’re too good for this world.

i’ll be okay, i’m always okay.

sorry about last night.

do you remember we used to do that in school?

i need your help.

you have no idea how much this means to me.

how long have you been standing there?

we have to stop meeting like this.

there’s someone in the house!

you’re beautiful.

very few people understand me, but you do.

i’m sorry.

get out of my way.

i saw it as clearly as i see you standing there now.

if you leave now, you lose everything.

please stop talking.

i make my goddamn choices myself, based on what i know.

don’t upset your father, not now.

you’re gonna get us killed someday.

i don’t feel good.

do you ever think we should just stop doing this?

i think you should stay the night.

who’s side are you on?

believe it or not, i am grateful.

i’m not supposed to talk to strangers.

you have to leave right now, you aren’t safe here.

i don’t think this is a good idea.

you’re not dead yet.

i wish you told me sooner.

are you kidding me?

you must be mad, coming here like this.

i don’t know how i can repay you.

you embarrassed me this evening.

don’t act so surprised.

there’s something i need to get off my chest.

tell me what’s bothering you.

everything is always about you!

midnight, on the bridge. come alone.

you stand there and accuse me, but where were you at the time?

i knew you wouldn’t be able to see it through.

i need more time to think.

you need me.

i’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel young.

you’re okay, you’re okay.

i don’t remember my childhood.

if we both stick to the story, they can’t prove anything.

i’ve been checking you out.

you look tired.

this must be hard for you.

never underestimate me again.

you got a package for me?

i think you’re right.

my hands are clean in all of this.

we really need a better excuse to see each other.

i’m ready to try again.

where i go and what i do is none of your business!

i never thought i’d see you again.

my work is my life.

we never should’ve kissed—that was our first mistake.

i feel very alone.

you are loved, don’t ever forget that.

i’m not gonna make it.

i don’t think i could live alone again.

when i was younger, i saw something i shouldn’t have.

i don’t want to have a baby.

stay the night, you deserve the rest.

you look ridiculous in that thing.

quick, hide behind the sofa!

hurry! they’re pulling up in the driveway!

i haven’t had a good breakdown in months, perhaps i’m due.

you’re impossible to ignore.

if you get me his phone, i might reconsider.

i’m afraid you’d look at me differently, now that you know.

i can’t trust you anymore.

hope is a silent killer, one day you’ll find that out for yourself.

i miss moments like this more than anything.

you can’t keep treating me this way!

sorry, i haven’t checked my phone all day.

my head is killing me.

just do as i say, and no one gets hurt.

you woke me up.

i didn’t mean to make you upset.

i can’t believe you’re just gonna give up like that!

just breathe.

i’m in the mood for pizza, what do you think?

if this is going to work, you’re going to have to trust me.

i’m not a big fan of the dark.

i could kill you!

you should’ve listened to me.

there’s always going to be someone who wants to knock you down.

it’s not fair!

so you had a bad day, there’s always tomorrow.

be nice to me, it’s my birthday.

you didn’t have to walk me home.

i would appreciate it if we didn’t discuss personal matters right now.

there’s no need to be callous and cruel.

this is for your own good.

i could kiss you.

i realized that i haven’t made a meme out of some of the wild things this man has said, so. here it is now!! there are a few suggestive prompts in there so be aware of that, but aside from those, everything else should just be chaotic <3

“ i don’t believe in grocery stores. ”

“ why would you curse me with this? ”

“ oh, i’m sorry! am i boring you?? ”

“ this is the end of all things, this is hell. ”

“ if i can’t see it, it can’t hurt me. ”

“ i’ll never be among the flowers again… ”

“ this is my punishment for even trying. ”

“ [name], get your ass in here! ”

“ soon, there will be unlimited hair. ”

“ i am a man…. who owns FIVE OVENS! ”

“ when i was a child, i couldn’t afford to do easter eggs. we couldn’t even afford eggs. ”

“ we had a chicken, but then we had to kill it for our own entertainment. ”

“ don’t worry. i won’t break you, unless you deserve to be broken. ”

“ i want a woman that can crush my head between her thighs. ”

“ it’s not a sexual thing! i don’t want anyone to think that! ”

“ it’s about power. it’s not about pleasure, it’s about power! ”

“ people might mistake me for some kind of a masochist, which isn’t true! ”

“ when you come knocking on my door bearing gifts, they better be the best damn gifts i’ve ever gotten in my life. ”

“ they’re a little bigger than your average kid. ”

“ you do you, and i’ll do me, and we don’t do each other. probably. ”

“ goddamn it, my brain is so huge! ”

“ i’m gonna take my thick ass back to bed. ”

(  platonic  ships  are  just  as  important  as  romantic  ones!  so  here’s  some  sentence  starters  for  all  your  friendship  needs!  )

❛ remind me why we’re friends again? ❜

❛ you know you can always talk to me. ❜

❛ do you think we’re friends in every universe? ❜

❛ you’re interesting and different and i like that. ❜

❛ i feel like i can tell you anything. ❜

❛ please don’t ever become a stranger. ❜

❛ i like being alone but i’d rather be alone with you. ❜

❛ you’re important to me, you little shit. ❜

❛ i can always count on you. ❜

❛ here, you can borrow my jacket. ❜

❛ i am this close away from strangling you. ❜

❛ no offense, but you look terrible. ❜

❛ do you think we’ll ever stop being friends? ❜

❛ i found this cool rock that made me think of you. ❜

❛ you can sleep over, it’ll be like when we were kids. ❜

❛ here’s a spare key so you don’t have to keep coming in through the window. ❜

❛ that sounds dangerous. i’m in! ❜

❛ we’re still friends, right? ❜

❛ i don’t have a date, so do you wanna be my plus one? ❜

❛ i heard you were feeling sick, so i made you some soup. ❜

❛ i already said i’m paying. you can buy next time, okay? ❜

❛ you’re the best, you know that? ❜

❛ i’m not hitting you, it’s called platonic bdsm. ❜

❛ you’re more family to me than my own family is. ❜

❛ because i like you. because you’re my friend. ❜

❛ i feel like i can be myself around you. ❜

❛ alright, who am i beating up? ❜

❛ you are literally too stupid to insult. ❜

❛ i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still. ❜

❛ who needs them. we can have fun on our own. ❜

❛ you deserve every good thing that comes your way. ❜

❛ don’t worry, i’ve got your back! ❜

❛ you’re like, the strongest person i know. ❜

❛ friends don’t lie. ❜

❛ don’t make me regret giving you the aux cord. ❜

❛ you can come over any time. it’s not a problem. ❜

❛ i’m glad to have met you. ❜

❛ you remember the day we became friends? ❜

❛ i know, i know. i’m the best. ❜

❛ no one hurts you and gets away with it. ❜

❛ because you love me! duh! ❜

❛ why do you keep me around? ❜

❛ you’re not getting rid of me that easily. ❜

❛ what would you do without me, huh? ❜

❛ thanks. i really needed this. ❜

naturally these are shippy and soft and i'm honestly so honored that someone asked and trusted me to do these, so i hope y'all enjoy them just as much as i enjoyed writing them!

from the grump

" i know i can be an asshole, but... you always see the good in me. "

" only YOU could convince me to do something like this! "

" don't make this weird, but... i saw this in the store. figured you'd like it. "

" nobody's ever made me feel the way you do. "

" you're so full of light... and i'm terrified that i'll be the one who quenches it. "

" why do you stick around with a misery-guts like me? "

" you're the lighthouse in the fog, guiding me to shore... "

" i'm trying so hard, but... i can't stop myself from falling in love with you. "

" i love you... oh, damn it, don't look at me, i'm all red... "

" i don't really smile much. not unless you're around, it seems. "

" no. no way, no way in hell am i doing that. no! no... aw, fine... "

" how are you so happy all the time? "

" oh jeez... nobody's ever made me laugh like that in a long, long time. "

" i don't think i wanna know a world without your smiles. "

" i never feel like this grumpy asshole when you're around. i feel like... me. the real me... "

" hey, now... i'm not going anywhere. i'm gonna stay right here. right with you. "

" whoa... hey, now, who made you cry? where'd they go? "

" don't make a big deal out of this. you like hugs, right? so... here's a hug. "

" um... if you don't mind, i think i'd like a hug now. if that's okay... "

" the world just... feels right. when you're with me. "

from the sunshine

" i love it when you smile! i wish you'd do it all the time... "

" you have a really good smile, you know that? "

" see? i knew there was a soft heart under all that grumbling! "

" admit it. you had FUN today! "

" i want to know you. the REAL you. so let's go somewhere that makes you feel happy. "

" you can't get rid of me that easily. i'm gonna be here every day to remind you how wonderful you are! "

" you know me. you... you see me. i'm never totally myself unless i'm with you. "

" everyone else always sees this ridiculously happy, over excited, naive little baby who needs protecting. but... never you. you've always seen the real me. i guess that's what i love the most about you. "

" why is it so damn difficult for you to believe you're worthy of love? "

" you make me smile. and laugh. i feel happy when i'm with you! is that so hard to believe? "

" don't be so stubborn! take my coat/scarf! "

" come on! dance with me! "

" who'd have thought you'd be such a softie! "

" your smiles are like shooting stars. really rare, and really beautiful. "

" don't go. please? just... we can share the bed. i just don't want to be alone right now, if you don't mind... "

" we all have our flaws. you stayed with me in spite of mine. now i'm doing the same... "

" we're two sides of the same coin. right? "

" well, they do say opposites attract... "