What I would do just to hear your voice one more time

I hate that I loved you more than I loved myself.

Tonight I finally got on my knees and asked God to heal me & bring me peace, emotionally, mentally and physically. I've been drowning in pain and I've grown exhausted so I am letting him take me and put me where he needs me to be. I am no longer going to fight things, I'm going to lay low and let God handle all things that surround me.

Happy Two Year Anniversary...

I loved you from the very beginning, you were my person, my best friend, my lover, my baby, my heart and my everything. My patience was so low but with you I learned what it was like to have more. It was me and you, almost like Bonnie and Clyde. I woke up just for you, I went to sleep knowing that you were on the phone that would lay right next to me just so it could feel like you were right next to me. Holidays and birthday I spent them with. Not physically but we were together. I realized that I loved you more than I loved myself and that absolutely tore me up... you were my everything and I was nothing to you. I ruined myself just to be with you, there was/are nights when I thought that if I didn't have you that there was no point in living. My hearts hurts still.. that type of pain where you can literally feel your heart splitting in two. The type of pain that all you wanna do is sleep.. that even going through my day hurts. I can't even think for too long without you rushing through my mind. I honestly don't know how I can still cry because I literally feel so empty. I miss you, I miss your voice, I miss your laugh, your eyes, your lips, your hands, your body, and your mind. I wish I could talk to you one last time.. maybe that will bring me closure.

& here I am still waiting for something that isn't going to happen