new blood in the wounds

sometimes i get the impression that ppl are so unmoored by a wishy washy sense of self that they maybe embody their sexual preferences a lil too much like as if it’s an easy identity to slap onto a vague image they hold of themselves to try to make it more concrete. like fuckin uhhhhh. ok i often enjoy bratting as a negotiated role bc my preferred power dynamics often lean submissive but i also just. don’t respect authority n there’s a gremlin at all times in my head who loves to cause problems so i like to talk shit, n get hit abt it. but like. if i’m not in a dynamic where that’s been talked abt, i’m not gonna be forcing that on someone who prefers domming if we haven’t discussed it bc ultimately kinks are a preference n also why would u want to pull out ur tender lil vulnerable kink n have someone kill ur boner by being like huh? why are u doing this ????? or even worse make them uncomfortable by what ur demanding of them when they’re vulnerable. like are ppl not seeing them as seasonings to add a particular layer that lends contour and vulnerability to an interaction why do u Need To Be An XYZ why is this Who You Are. i also do cherish one of the buddhist perspectives on there being no self n that adding needless identity walls u away from the world that u are interwoven w so. idk. identity in some ways can be rlly beautiful if u let them be as dynamic as they rlly are n allow them to flow thru u rather than grasping them so tightly u strangle urself into a Statue of ur own perceived Whatever