Just stuff

????? getting off the motorway & the bus driver starts SHOUTING “ohhh noo! no no no no!!” me and the other passengers looking about in fear but can see no apparent danger. then the bus driver goes (shouting loudly over the engine noise and traffic so we can hwar in the back) “WHEW! that could’ve been real bad. that could’ve been so bad. i really thought we were doomed.” with no explanation.

I can only assume that the bus driver can see spirits and ghosts and such and saw a gigantic other world beast about to consume us that was waylaid at the last moment by another larger more terrifying beast that eats fellow beasts and not buses.

i just got back on the bus and it’s the same driver again!!!

they just took a turn too tight, cackled, and shouted back to me specifically because i’m the only person sitting near the front “THAT almost didn’t work out for us! hahaha. (30 second pause) i’m never driving this route again.”

when I first saw this quote I was like 'that's either david lynch or hideo kojima' and then read the source and realised it's the third and last of their species

hmm... *gets in evil bed and holds my evil stuffed animal* evil night.. *turns off my fucked up evil lamp*

Keep salting the wound I'm close

sometimes it’s better refrain from deep introspection and allow yourself to just be.

and by that I mean: I don’t have to sit with myself and overthink and analyze and rationalize every ounce of my being. I am not a case study I am a person. faults and all. like any other person. sometimes I have to look at my mistakes and avoid self flagellation. sigh and learn what I can and move on. remember that I am living, and this is part of the process. free myself of that inner critic. allow myself to be, and try again.

DUDE WHAT IF YOU GET TRICKED

experiencing adolescence in the 2010s has fucked my perspective of the word “epic” totally beyond repair. i will forever view it in the same league as words like “awesomesauce” and “legitness” im sorry. theres just no going back

"grackle" really is a perfect name for a bird. knocked it out of the park w/ that one

I had a dream about getting stuck in an elevator 4 times in a row and I work in a place with an elevator that I avoided until I realized that was stupid and took the damn thing and you'll never guess what happened when I reached my floor

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

DEFAULT OBJECT FOUND

When I fail to respond it's an homage to letters getting lost at sea

I love a snack that’s also a little bit of an activity. peeling a clementine, stringing a cheese, roasting marshmallows, stuff like that. eating a pomegranate is like a game of sudoku to me.