You Never Say I Love You Back
You couldn't name one good thing Eren had given you in the relationship aside from the dick. He never paid for your hair, nails, wax, or anything. You did everything on your own, and happily, but along the line of dating him, you hadn't realized when you'd become so dependant and needy. Especially on someone so avoidant and boring like Eren. No wonder girls threw themselves at him. When you had looks, you wouldn't really care about building your personality.
You'd broken up and it's been barely three weeks. It was an on-and-off thing, and every parting argument he left you with, he told you he knew you'd come back crying. You hated it. It broke your heart. And most of all, it felt like some sort of self-fulfiling prophecy, where you think so much about that one phrase that it ends up manifesting itself. You know what they say, when you don't want to think of a black dog, suddenly it's all you can think of.
It wasn't fun running into Eren often, since you went to the same grocery store, same park and had mutual friends. It felt like half of you was just... gone. You missed the feeling of imagining Eren's potential. You missed his hand in yours. You missed his head on your lap while listening to his problems.
You mumbled a soft apology to yourself and wiped your tears, swinging your legs off the bed and putting your slippers on. Your keys jingled as you pocketed them and made your way to your car. The drive was.. therapeutic, almost. You turned The Color Violet and drove down Eren's street.
Eren was in his bathroom, brushing his teeth when he heard the rumbling of an engine from downstairs. He paused in recognition. Eren almost burst out laughing, but bit his cheek. He rinsed up and fixed his hair. He had to look his best to see that pathetic look on your face when begging for his scraps.
Eren walked up to the door and opened, lighting a cigarette. He leaned against the doorway.
You felt small in the driver's seat, taking a long breath and letting out an even longer exhale. You hoped Eren missed you. Heartbreak and distance can so easily warp a person's true reality into a mixture of everything you'd ever want them to be. You suck it up and exit the car. You didn't feel sad as much as you missed your beautiful boy.
Your steps up the stairs come to an immediate stop when you look up, meeting Eren's eyes at the doorway. He was standing there. Did he know? Did he purposely wait to humiliate you? No fair... the look in his eyes don't match your dreams. Everything comes crashing back to you, and you can't help but feel so stupid. Things don't magically change, what a surprise.
Your eyes soften anyway, swallowing the lump in your throat and racing up to meet Eren, not halfway. You collide gently against his chest and wrap your arms around him tightly. You could physically feel all self-control thrown out the window as you begin to cry.
Eren blows out a grey cloud and frowns, "hey, don't cry, man." He says quietly, patting your shoulder twice. His ego cracks. Eren sighs and pulls away, gesturing you in with a jerk of his chin. You feel drawn to him, like a magnetic pull.
You sit on your old bed in his bedroom, still recovering from your cries. You wipe them on your sleeve, bringing your emotions back to where you wore them.
"Eren.." you trail off, looking back over your shoulder to where Eren is putting out his cigarette butt in the ashtray. Eren's face is solemn. He meets your eyes and takes a seat next to you, maintaining eye contact.
You hear about Eren's experience in the breakup, nodding to every word and trying not to cry to every other one.
"It's okay.. I'm here now," your hand squeezes Eren's and gently turns it to face you. The back of your hand has never felt the warmth and embrace of this rough palm. Eren leans down towards you. His ears are hot, and you meet him halfway, pressing a kiss against his lips. Your heart races. You part and gaze into his deep blue-greens. Finally, tonight, you smile. Eren mirrors your smile.
"I'm sorry for leaving," you apologize.
Eren lets out a dry laugh, shaking his head, "It's alright. We're good now,"
You blush, "good as in..? You love me?" You ask, your body leaning towards him, like a sunflower tilting towards the sun for light.
"Do you love me?" He asks instead, and you eagerly nod. He chuckles, avoiding your eyes before meeting them again.
You scoot closer to Eren and hug his arm, a choked sob escaping your throat. Eren looks at you; down at you. You place your head in his lap and sniffle, looking up.
Eren gulps and scratches his head awkwardly. You give him a sad smile, taking his hand and bringing it up to rest against your cheek. You close your eyes, mouth and nose buried into his palm. You take a deep inhale and slowly open your eyes back, speaking slightly muffled, "you never say I love you back,"
I just wanted to write something sad.. I'm not sure what this is I'm sorry.
