tim is a himbo

season one of the magnus archives is so funny. the archivist really is like “statement of one charlie flipflop who claims to have been stalked by a sentient piece of rope. frankly, this sounds like a load of horseshit to me. unfortunately we couldnt follow up on this statement as mr. flipflop has died by manner of being strangled by a rope in his own home. what seems unusual is the fact that there were no signs of forced entry, and cameras show no one but charlie entering his apartment the week of the murder. anyways, i hate my fucking job. statement ends. 

The Magnus Protocol Is A Podcast

I mean this kinda happened -

hi my name is jonathan sims head archivist of the magnus institute london and i work with a bunch of people named after horror writers (that's how i got my name). i have long ebony black hair with grey streaks that reaches my mid-back and warm soft tired beautiful brown eyes like a baby cow and a lot of people tell me i look like the saddest most tired poorest little meow meow in the whole world. i'm not related to martin blackwood but i wish i was because he's a major fucking hottie. i'm an avatar of the beholding but my eyes are up here. i'm also an archivist and i work at the magnus institute in england where i am subjected to the horrors (i'm somewhere between 28-30 but i tell everyone i'm at least 36). i'm incomprehensible (in case you couldn't tell) and i wear mostly martin's clothes. i love martin and i steal all my clothes from him. for example today i was wearing a cable knit jumper with a soft crocheted open cardigan over it with yet another looser sweater over that. i also wore a long skirt and some sort of comfy old man loafers. i was walking around london looking for someone's trauma to eat. the sky was raining tears from all of the eyes up there which i was very guilty about. a lot of other fear avatars stared at me. i put up my middle finger at them.

Listening to The Magnus Archives for the first time vs. the relisten is funny in how vastly different the experience is. A very ominous description of a monster or other will be given as someone is described to have gone through something horrific, and I'll light up in sheer delight like "omg you mean the babygirl !!!" The lack of respect

The true horror of the Horror Podcast The Magnus Protocol so far is the dread you feel when the episode is over and you realise you have to wait an entire week for the next one.

Wait fuck. Martin reading a statement about grief and losing a partner (remember Annabelle saying that Jon would lose much of himself but he would survive? „Arthur is that you? And that voice I have loved for twenty years answered: Some of him”) Jon reading a statement about someone being destroyed by the Magnus Institute, just an innocent curious person who went somewhere they shouldn’t have, becoming paranoid, the Eye mutilating and killing them.

THE MAGNUS PROTOCOL IS A PODCAST