YTTD Blog

1 —

Feeling that dip in your stomach when the person’s name is mentioned again. Even worse, it’s been years since you’ve heard that name yet it still causes an almost visceral reaction within you, your eyes dilating and your breath catching in your throat, your world spinning around you a little.

You were so sure you were over them—over whatever they’ve done to you—that you didn’t expect to react so strongly even after so many years.

2 —

There were many points you’ve rehearsed, in your head, the way you’d act, the way you’d speak, the way you’d hold yourself if you ever saw them again. You anticipated many reactions, but you didn’t anticipate falling apart the instant you accidentally cross paths with them again.

3 —

“I thought you forgave them?”

“I thought I did, too.”

4 —

“Fuck, I haven’t moved on at all.”

5 —

“I didn’t think it would bother me that much to see them again.”

6 —

When you get random flashbacks of past situations or people and you can feel yourself gripped with frustration at the mere thought of them. And it’s over things you thought you were over already.

7 —

“Well, you know what they say? Healing isn’t linear and sleeping with other people does the opposite of getting over someone. I got smacked in the face with a pillow the other day because I said [insert Character A’s name] instead of theirs while we were having sex.”

“…Yeah, I think that’s your fault.”      

8 —

“Just when I thought my life couldn’t become more of a shit show, I think I’m starting to realise how much I miss them.”

9 —

“…It’s been months of no contact. I thought I was doing well. And then they message me out of nowhere, saying how much they regret what they did and wishing me the best, and it all falls the fuck apart.”

10 —

“Hey, so that was insane.”

“Yeah, not as insane as them showing up at my door and assuming I don’t hold any resentment for what they’ve done to me and how much they’ve fried my nervous system. They deserved that slap.”

“You said you were over what they’ve done to you.”

“Well, I guess I’ve learned one trait from them: lying.”  

— End

oops we keep hurting each other but we also keep choosing to save each other over and over again…

ohhh you can learn to live with your ghosts and the inherent transience of life means your past and present experiences shape you but do not immutably dictate your future…

I am a solo indie dev trying to overcome my anxiety and actually let people know my game exists. It is a cute physics based game where you are the level.

I love making this game with passion and I am so excited to share it with the world, but somehow I need to let the world know. Unfortunately the way steam works is the more wishlists the more visibility, so if you are interested it is super appreciated :)

So I come from a small (midwestern) town. And I mean - an actual small town (less than 1,500 population). I’ve lived in towns of under 500 population, and in towns of about 2,500 population, and in towns of 15k population, and in cities of 100k, and currently in a 700k city. 

So here’s some things about small towns you might not know if you’ve never lived in one:

If it’s got a population higher than 30 thousand, it’s not a small town. It’s just a town. Hell, I’d probably argue that if it has a population higher than 10 thousand it’s not small town, but I’m being generous. However the people in towns 30k–50k probably think they’re in a small town (they’re not).

The experience is vastly different depending on how far you are from a small-large city. And by that I mean - the people are vastly different. 

Are you less than 60min drive to a city of 80k+ population? the people are probably less likely to be farmers, more likely to work in said small-large city and commute (which doesn’t mean that everyone commutes or that no one is a farmer). The people probably lean slightly to the right of the closest city, but aren’t necessarily staunch conservatives. The town sizes probably bottom out around 2k min. 

Are you more than 2hrs drive from a city of 80k+ population? The town is more self-sufficient. Most work within their small town or a nearby small town. Depending on the terrain, more people are farmers. They’re probably mostly conservative, both socially and fiscally. The town sizes could be as small as 300 people.

The farther from the city, the more likely to be conservative, more likely to be farmers (depending on the terrain).

Population 15k+:

This town probably has a (singular) hospital, several doctor’s offices, probably a dozen department stores - and if it’s rural enough, probably a couple kinds of hardware/diy type stores (lowe’s, menard’s, home depot etc.)

There are several options for vets and at least one emergency vet 

1-2 dozen hotels

If it’s got anything touristy, double the hotels (2-3 dozen) - touristy being water, especially large lakes, hiking trails, fesitvals, nearby ski resort - any thing that would draw people there on vacation, even if it’s only people from that region 

Also add a “down town” area - boutiques, nice restaurants, probably a theatre

It has at least 4 options of elementary schools, and 3 options each for middle and high schools. It might have a community college (but probably not). There are private or charter options, specifically for religious students

There are multiple denominations of churches (catholic, lutheran, baptist, episcopal etc). Depending on ethnic make-up, it may or may not have a synagogue. It probably won’t have a mosque.

If it’s in a rural-ish area (the closest towns are all smaller) it probably has some kind of shopping mall. If it’s the smaller town, it may not.

It’ll have several bars, probably clustered in a central location, with a few others a little farther out from that area. 

This town has a few coffee shops (3-10), but may or may not have an actual starbucks. At least one is a local place, at least one is a chain (starbucks, dunkin, biggby). 

People drive everywhere. There is a bus system, but only the “down town” area would have issues finding parking. Most businesses/hotels have their own parking lot.

Most people live in houses but there are a few (3-7) apartment complexes, most of which are several buildings

There will be lots of restaurants, mostly chains or small mom & pop places, with at least a couple niceish options

This town might even have its own airport, but likely only serves regional flights to “nearby” larger towns/cities. Regional means like, less than 2hr flights, so that’s probably a bigger distance than you’d think.

There are dozens of gas stations and at least a dozen fast food places

Is it on a freeway? increase the gas stations, fast food places, department stores etc. 

This town probably has a rec-type center with a community pool and courts and what not. There are several options of gyms.

Population 10k ish:

May or may not have a hospital - if it does, it’s small. A few doctor’s offices, a couple of department stores, at least one hardware/diy type

A few vets, may or may not have an emergency vet

a dozen or so hotels. again - double that if it’s got smth that would attract people, especially water.

may or may not have a “down town” area

2-4 options at least of elementary, 2-3 options of middle and high school. No community college.

Still at least a few options of churches. Still might have a synagogue, still probably doesn’t have a mosque.

Probably doesn’t have a shopping mall, but might have a “business district - basically a few intersections with most of the stores, hotels, and restaurants.

Probably has at least two, maybe three coffee shops. At least one is a chain.

Probably doesn’t have its own bus system unless it’s near enough to a town of 15k+ or more - people drive everywhere. There’s plenty of parking.

Most people live in houses, but there are a couple of apartment complexes. Mostish of the houses have yards, but some might not.

A few options of restaurants, but maybe only 1-2 niceish places. A couple chain, a couple mom & pop. 

It would be strange for this town to have an airport. May have a landing strip at most, but unlikely.

There are probably half a dozen to a dozen gas stations. Several fast food places.

Is it on a freeway? increase the gas stations, fast food

This town might have a community rec center w/pool. Still a couple options of gyms.

Population 5k ish:

This town doesn’t have a hospital. It probably has 1-3 doctor’s offices. At least one department store

2-3 vets, likely no emergency vet

3-8 ish hotels or inns 

Might have a quaint but very small “down town” area

Likely only 2 options of schools, maybe only one high school. Possible to go to school with same people your whole life

2-3 options for churches. Probably doesn’t have a synagogue unless there’s a large Jewish population 

There’s no shopping mall of any kind, but probably has an area where most of the businesses are - at most 2-3 intersections worth

Probably has a coffee shop or two, but might not. Could be a chain or a local - but probably a local.

There’s no bus system unless it’s near enough to a town of 15k+. People drive everywhere.

Most everyone lives in houses. Most if not all have yards. There might be 1-2 apartment complexes but maybe not.

There are a few restaurants - mix of chain and mom & pop places. Might have a nice restaurant, but only one.

There’s no airport.

There are probably 2-6 gas stations, maybe 1-2 fast food. 

Is it on a free way? increase the gas stations and fast food.

Likely does not have its own rec center/pool, but probably has 1-2 options of gyms.

Population under 2k ish:

No hospital. Probably has one doctor’s office, but might not if it’s close enough to a larger “small” town. No department stores, but probably at least one, maybe 2 decent grocery stores. Could be a local chain or a mom & pop.

Probably has a vet’s office, but just one. 

1-2 inns/motels. If it’s an older town, it has like, a street that’s mostly made of older style buildings and is the “down town” - just a couple of blocks

Just one school system - elementary through high school. Everyone goes through the same school - you probably graduate with the same people you went to kindergarten with

1-2 churches. Probably no synagogue

There is probably a generalish area where the store/post office/school/etc is, but those are probably just as surrounded by homes and yards as everything else.

This town probably doesn’t have a coffee shop, and if it does, it’s local, not a chain.

There’s no bus system unless it’s close enough to a town of 15k+. People drive.

There might be an apartment complex. Everything else is houses. The houses pretty much all have some kind of yard.

There are probably two restaurants, probably both local. Nothing fancy. 

No airport.

Probably 2ish gas stations.

Is it on a free way? add a gas station and a fast food restaurant.

There’s no rec center (unless maybe an outdoor like, field type rec center), but still likely has at least one gym.

I could keep going down but I think you get the idea. If you’re writing about an actual town, do research on its population. If you’re making up a town, think about what size you need it to be to have the things you want (or don’t want). 

If your “small town” has more than one hospital, it’s not a small town. If it’s got a population above 10k, there is definitely more than one (and likely, many) hotels. 

Is it near decent-sized water (largeish lake, ocean)? People probably have vacation homes there. That increases property value and tourism. Even if it’s not a like, nationally-known vacation spot, people within 100-200 miles could likely make weekend trips there.

hello i am here today to not lose track of the art cheats i have discovered over the years. what i call art cheat is actually a cool filter/coloring style/way to shade/etc. that singlehandedly makes art like 20 times better

80’s anime style

glitch effect

glow effects

adding colors to grayscale paintings

foreshortening ( coil )

foreshortening ( perspective )

clipping group (lines)

clipping group (colors)

dramatic lighting ( GOOD )

shading metal

lighting faces

Found Here x

41 Emotions as Expressed through Body Language unique  This list, while exhausting, is soooo not exhaustive; it barely scratches the surface. And each entry could easily become cliché (if it isn’t already). But, it should be enough to get you started. Want more? Start watching people (not in a creepy way), and take notes of what they seem to do when expressing different emotions. Your repertoire of expression will double in no time. PS—do not use these for actual, real-life body language reading; you will fail. These are strictly novelistic.

Awed  -Slack -jawed, raised eyebrows, staring  -Frozen, slack body language (Self? What self? There is only Zuul.)  -Take a step back and put a hand to his heart

Amused  -Smiling and throwing back her head laughing  -Slapping her thighs, stamping her feet, clapping her hands  -Shaking her head (That’s so wrong!)

Angry/Aggressive  -Sharp movements, like shaking a fist, pointing, slashing, or slamming a fist on a table  -Flushed face, patchy red blotches  -Tension in neck—chords standing out, veins throbbing—and jutting or tucked chin  -Arms akimbo, or clenching fists  -Entering someone else’s space and forcing them out  -Poofing up with a wide stance (I am big! Very big!), arms wide (Bring it!)  -Lowered eyebrows, squinting eyes  -Teeth bared, jaw clenched, snarling

Annoyed  -Pressing lips together into a thin line  -Narrowing eyes sometimes with slight head tilt (Why do you still exist?)  -Rolling eyes, often paired with a long-suffering sigh

Anxious  -Fidgeting, such as tearing grass into little pieces, playing with a ring, or chewing on a pencil  -Biting lower lip, swallowing unnecessarily  -Quickened breathing or holding breath  -Darting eyes  -Pallor, sweating, clammy palms  -Unusually high-pitched, “nervous” laughter  -Hunched shoulders  -Pacing

Attentive  -Slow head nodding with a furrowed brow  -Leaning forward, toward the speaker, and sitting up  -Taking notes  -Looking over the top of her glasses

Bored  -Resting his head on his palm, peeking out between the fingers, maybe even slipping so his head “accidentally” hits the table  -Tapping toes, twirling pencil, doodling, and otherwise fidgeting  -Staring out a window, or at anything remotely more interesting (Which is everything …)

Confident  -Arms clasped behind body  -Head lifted, chest out, standing tall  -Walking briskly and making firm, precise movements

Confused  -Tilting head with narrowed eyes  -A furrowed brow  -Shrugging

Contempt/Superiority  -Lifted chin (The better to look down the nose.)  -Pursed lips, sneering, slight frown  -Circling a shoulder, stretching her neck, turning away—anything to indicate she doesn’t see the person as a threat or worthy of her attention  -Grabbing her lapels, or tucking her thumbs in her waistcoat (See this clothing? It is much nicer than yours.)  -Dismissive hand-waving

Cynical/Sarcastic/Bitter  -Twisted lips or a half-smile  -Sneering, sometimes with shaking the head and other defensive body language  -Pressed lips with a slight frown  -Eye rolling

Defensive  -Crossed arms, legs, crossed anything, really (Well, maybe not fingers … or eyes …)  -Arms out, palms forward (Stop!)  -Placing anything (sword, shield, book, backpack) in front of her body

Disgusted  -Crinkling his nose  -Curling his lip and/or showing the tip of his tongue briefly  -Flinching back and interposing a shoulder or turning away  -Covering his nose, gagging, and squinting his eyes shut—hard—for a moment. (It assaults all the senses.)

Displeased  -A plastered-on fake smile (You suck; but I can’t tell you that. So here: a fake smile! Enjoy.)  -Pouting or frowning (I’ll cry if you don’t give me what I want—don’t test me, I will!)  -Crossed arms and other defensive/frustrated body language (I will not let that terrible idea influence me!)

Distressed  -Wide eyes and shallow, rapid breathing  -Beating the walls, or huddling into a corner  -Clasping hands over his head protectively  -Rocking himself  -Handwringing  -Running his hands through his hair

Earnest/Passionate  -Leaning forward, nodding, wide eyes with strong eye contact and raised eyebrows  -Hand on heart, or presented palms-up, or otherwise visible  -A double-handed handshake (I really want to make sure you understand me!)

Embarrassment  -Blushing  -Stammering  -Covering her face with her hands or bowing her head (I’m so embarrassed, I can’t look!)  -Difficulty maintaining eye contact, looking down and away

Excited/Anticipation  -Rubbing hands together (I can’t wait to get my hands on it!)  -Licking lips (It’s so close I can taste it!)  -A vigorous, pumping handshake (I can’t wait to get started!)  -Jumping up and down (Look at me being literal here! I am jumping for joy.)  -A wide and easy grin

Flirty  -Eye play, like winking, looking up through the lashes, over the shoulder glances, and eye catching   -Preening, like hair flipping or smooth, clothing straightening, spine straightening, etc.  -Striking a cowboy pose, with his thumbs gripping his belt tight

Frustrated  -Shaking his head (You are so wrong!)  -Massaging temples (My brain—it hurts.)  -Clasping his wrist in his opposite hand, behind his back (Bad arm! No biscuit.)  -Running his hands through his hair (All this frustration is making my hair mussy. I can feel it.)  -Grabbing onto something like armrests, or white-knuckled interdigitation (Restrain yourself!)

Happy  -Smiling and laughing  -Eyes and nose crinkling  -Swinging her arms, spinning loosely, dancing, jumping

Impatience  -Quick head nodding (Get on with it!)  -Toe/finger tapping (Hear this? These are seconds. Wasted. Listening to you.)  -Sighing, checking the clock/sundial/freckles (Time. It is moving so slowly.)

Jealous  -Tight lips, or a sour expression  -Narrow eyes locked on the perpetrator, to the point of a stare down  -Crossed arms, and additional frustrated, angry, possessive, or bitter body language

Lying  -Scratching their nose, ear, neck, miscellaneous part of face  -Sudden change in behavior or demeanor, including shifty eye contact, lots of long blinking, shrugging -Ill-timed smiles or laughter (This is how I normally smile, right? Right???)  -Additional anxiety body language  -Shaking head no while saying “yes” (I can’t believe I just lied.)  -Licking lips, covering mouth, touching mouth, etc.

Overwhelmed  -Both palms to forehead, fingers splayed (This gives me a headache.)  -Covering eyes with one hand (If I can’t see the world, it can’t see me …)  -Eyes wide and staring into space, hands gripping the table in front of her (… Woah.)

Playful/Friendly  -Winking  -Waggling eyebrows  -Tiny shoves or nudge

Pleasure  -Head tilted back, lips parted slightly, eyes wide or closed  -Slow, languorous movements, stretching (such as arching her neck or back)  -Slight flush, quickened breath and pulse

Possessive  -Handshake with arm clasp  -Putting hands on or around someone’s shoulders, neck, waist, back, or even just the wall near them  -Standing in someone’s personal space, body positioned toward that person  -Any one-sided act of intimacy, like running a knuckle down someone’s cheek  -Staring down any who get too close

Proud/Dominant  -Chin up, chest out, shoulders back  -A painfully hard handshake that not only squishes the bones, but also forces his hand on top  -Leaning back with his hands behind his head, and his feet up  -Strong, unblinking, focused eye contact

Reluctance/Resistance  -Arms crossed, sometimes with fists (Not happening.)  -Dragging feet (But I don’t wanna!)  -Pinching nose (You want me to do what now?)  -Clamping hands over ears (La la la la!)

Sad/Upset  -Droopy body (and anything held, like a sword), bowed in shoulders, wrapping arms around self  -Slow movements with hesitation  -Bottom lip jutting out and/or quivering  -Crying, sobbing, body shaking, sniffling, wet eyes

Secretive  -A tight-lipped smile (My lips are zipped.)  -Hiding her hands in her pockets (What has it got in its nasty little pocket?)  -Looking away

Scared  -Hunched shoulders, shrinking back from others (Don’t hurt me!)  -Wide eyes and lifted eyebrows (The better to see them coming.)  -Shaking, trembling, or freezing  -Rocking from side to side, sometimes holding self (It’ll all be okay, self, it’ll all be okay.)

Shame  -Slumped shoulders (Don’t look at me.)  -Trouble meeting your gaze, looking down and away  -Burying her face in her hands or bowing her head (I can’t face the world right now.)

Shocked  -Hands covering her mouth, or mouth hanging open, sometimes with a gasp (If I had words, I would be saying them.) -Freezing and staring with wide eyes and eyebrows raised (Diverting all resources toward staring.)  -Smacking a palm into his forehead (Clearly, my head isn’t working right, or I wouldn’t have seen that)

Shy  -Avoids eye contact, or has only fleeting eye contact (Eye contact means you might speak to me.)  -Keeps a fair distance from everyone, and will back away if someone steps closer (Space invaders!)  -Folded arms, head down, and other defensive body language (If I make myself small, they can’t see me.)

Smug  -Slight, close-lipped smile (occasionally one-sided) and sometimes one raised eyebrow (I know something you don’t know.)  -Chin slightly tucked, Mona Lisa smile, raised eyebrows (I know better.)  -Finger steepling (I am so smaaaht.)

Suspicious/Skeptical/Disbelief  -Narrowed eyes, sometimes with a sidelong glance or raised eyebrow (Perhaps if I look at it out of the corner of my eye, I will catch it unawares.)  -Rubbing his eyes (I can’t believe what I’m metaphorically or literally seeing!)  -Shaking his head (I—I don’t believe it.)  -Blowing out cheeks (Well , I don’t know …)

Tired  -Rubbing his eyes, eyes staring into space, raised eyebrows (Raising my eyebrows helps keep my eyes open.)  -Yawning and/or stretching (I am tired—see? Tired! Too tired to care!)  -Almost nodding off and jerking awake (Cannot. Stay. Awa—snnnnurzzzz.)  -Gritting teeth to stay awake (Cannot—yawn—dang it!)

Thoughtfulness/Thinking  -Steepling fingers (I will think better if I center myself and focus.)  -Pinching nose, sometimes with closed eyes (Focus, focus—I just need to focus.)  -Tugging on an ear (This will help me remember!)  -Stroking a real or imaginary beard (People with beards look smart.)  -Furrowed brow, narrowed eyes, sometimes tilted head and pressing lips together (I can’t see it—I will try harder!)  -Resting his chin on his hand (Thinking makes my head heavy.)

you failed a skill check so bad that Kim has to take you aside to ask you what the fuck.

Here it is! the whole clown car, and I labelled them in this one for the people who were asking for it :) sorry they aren't in the order they're in in-game but i have a vision

I love clown