I HATE laser beams

“So that I can call you a Vampire Spidey.”

“Clever. Did you come up with that one all by yourself?”

“How often do you use your fangs?”

“Often enough. Why?”

“Please don’t let that happen. I’ve already got enough paparazzis on my tail, and the last thing that needs to happen is you buck-ass naked on my bed.” 

“Don’t worry. I don’t sleep naked.”

“Well, we have to find a way to fix your timeline. And, you’re not alone in this..and at the end of the day, there will always be hope. I mean who would’ve thought that we would beat Morlun in that great Spider-Orgy?”

Miguel snorted and folded his arms over his chest. “You know, when you say it like that, it makes me feel like I’m going to find myself naked in your bed one of these days.”

“Well, we have to find a way to fix your timeline. And, you’re not alone in this..and at the end of the day, there will always be hope. I mean who would’ve thought that we would beat Morlun in that great Spider-Orgy?”

Miguel snorted and folded his arms over his chest. “You know, when you say it like that, it makes me feel like I’m going to find myself naked in your bed one of these days.”

“Well, you could tell me what problems that you’re dealing with. After all, the CEO needs to look after his employees’ well being after all.”

“You know. My time is still shocking messed up and nothing getting it back to normal. I’m getting worried I’m past the point where things go wrong and there is no fixing it now.”

    “Aha! I now recognize you– GEORGE JETSON!”

“Who the shock is that?”

“Nothing. Well, nothing unusual for me. Nothing’s going the way I want.”

“Miguel, I’ll take care of all of your Miguel O’Hara problems. But this city needs you. Let’s face it….Prowler’s not a real Spidey, Miles and Cindy are still not quite experienced as heroes, and Jessica’s a single mother who’s 8 months pregnant while fighting crime. I try my best as Spider-Man to look after my spider-family but it’s not easy to do that when you have responsibilities that expand more globally than ever. It would be nice if an experienced veteran like you could help me watch over my arachnid familia in the Rotten Apple.”

“Are you really having that much trouble? I’ve got my hands full, too. How am I supposed to fix things for myself when I’m busy fixing everyone else’s shocking problems?”

“Two, I’m guessin’. I saw one swingin’ around by his web last month.”

“Well, uh, hey. Nice to meet a fan.”

“And what makes you so sure?”

    “…Never mind.”

“I feel like now is a good time to tell you I’m from the future so your oldies don’t do it for me.”

  “It’s kind of cool– like that Katy Perry song. Baby you’re a fireeeework!”

“Do what now?”