Ich bin Gottes liebling

I've been seeing this girl lately and my friend told her smth about my past that scared her off and she said she's not sure if she wants to talk with me or no. She doesn't believe i can change I'm so fucking done with this shit. Once again I feel so empty because i know just now that i lost her even though she didn't said it out loud. Everytime I truly care it's like this I'm so off it. When she drove back home I literally were fucking shaking crying-screaming and wanted to kms I hate this stupid fucking life

Oh no... I think it's happening again... I think I'm falling again omg no

I start to obsessively think that murdering someone has to be the best feeling you can experience

Legalize murdering wastes of oxygen

I thought I'm doing better but I'm doing worse and now I'm just alone, what can I say to make you come back? I'm on the verge of keeping myself sane. I'm so fucking desperate I think about hurting you just so you'd talk to me again, I think about blackmailing you everything idk what to do anymore. I can't let go.

I sent him tutorial vid on how to respond and he actually did omg this is the best day in my life I'm killing myself tomorrow

I DID IT I DID IT OMG I'M SHAKING MY HEART BEAT IS SO FAST LIKE DYING

Tomorrow is his birthday and I decided I'm texting him. Wish me luck 💗

Dear diary, how do I erase all of my feelings?

Forever and always I'm your worshiper, in my soul and in my blood and in my veins, you're my angel, yet, you deserve everything that's happening to me, more than me

Just by looking at you on photos I get hella excited

If I can't be with you till the very end, then what's the point of living at all?