Things for your RESCUED living weapon to say
“Are you okay?”
Im standing right here aren’t I?”
“I’m not talking about physically, weapon!”
“I have survived countless hours of torture, witnessed horrors beyond human comprehension and slain countless enemies! Yet your nonsensical television show has reduced me to tears!”
Dude, it’s okay. Everyone cries when their favourite character dies, plus. I’d bet this is a build up of all the other…junk you’ve definetly needed to cry about.
“What was that Uhm…thing you gave me 71 hours ago?”
“What?”
“You know- the scolding hot sweet booster thingy?
“Are you talking about hot chocolate?”
“YES! that- make it, or else I won’t have the energy to do any required tasks which will reduce my usefulness by approximately 18%”
“Well, you don’t have to be useful- but I’ll make you one if you want one.”
“Yes I’d like that, please.”
“You don’t have to clean my wounds, you know? They don’t actually affect my effectiveness.”
“I won’t even dignify that with a response.”
“Ohhh. I get it, you’re one of those handlers that cares about appearances.”
“I don’t think you get it at all if that’s what you think.”
“I’m feeling useless.”
“Ah ah ah, what’s the word we learned?”
“Tired.”
“Much better.”
“Ok ok here’s a joke!”
“Wow weapon- I never took you for the comedy type?”
“Usually, no. But this used to make all the weapons laugh back home! Okay so- I’ll need to translate to terms you understand
Ahem- how many 8XK model weapons- or no, sorry, people. does it take to fix a heavy operating fighter tank- no that’s too complicated, a lightbulb.”
“Uhm. I don’t know weapon, how many 8XK model people does it take to fix a lightbulb?”
“Around five HA!”
“maybe that got lost in translation…?”
