My Soapbox

For as long as I can remember, my mom has told me the story of my birth. How I was almost stillborn (like 1/3 of a heartbeat w/ the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck 3x’s). How she saw a vision of Satan holding me & God snatched me out of his hands saying He would fully restore me. She’s always told me God has a plan for me. He saved me for a reason. I’ve always wondered what tht reason could be. Fast forward 13yrs to 2004. I was watching Oprah & there was an episode about rape. I asked my mom how they knew she was raped. My mom explained it. I went to the family computer & looked up stats on rape & domestic violence. I was angry at what I read. Maybe this is the special plan God has for me? Maybe I’m supposed to raise awareness? & so I did. My poor classmates had to hear about these evils. I remember in high school having a meeting at lunch w/ some of the girls & handing out a brochure I made. (Btw Thank you for sitting through my rant) I remember shortly after having what I call a vision. It was about starting a home for rape victims, domestic violence victims & teen moms. Those who were hurt. Who had experienced trauma. Sadly, I would become one of those stats tht had angered me as a teen. I started my teen yrs learning about the horrors of rape & ended them learning about the reality of rape. It’s been 11yrs since then. I have cried, cursed, screamed, gone numb, & everything in btwn. I have questioned how this is part of God’s plan. He saved me for this?!?! I still struggle w/ that last part. I’ve been asked since graduating “what’s next?”The answers the same. I’m not sure but I know the ppl I want to help. It’s been the same since 2004. Since I learned of the disregard another human can have towards his fellow human in 2011. Since God called me to Biblical Counseling at Southern in 2018. Until He says otherwise, I’ll continue to fight for & advocate for those who are hurting & have experienced trauma. I guess I always have been stubborn, loud… & a tad dramatic. #survivorday #alwaysadvocating #Godhasaplan https://www.instagram.com/p/CefECnpr9eH04Qi0tdENockjC7ouknEA3LT_nc0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

It’s getting real! #onemoreday #graduation #thesouthernbaptisttheologicalseminary https://www.instagram.com/p/CderNpMLwv-948yrRWqshN8cgJKmupG1iFEJbs0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

🚨we’re in single digits people!!!!🚨#graduation #soclose #thesouthernbaptisttheologicalseminary https://www.instagram.com/p/CdIvPqArXSSuSSEkFS1dGB7jfubw9ma5UeuZco0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Good luck with your show tonight @dwums! Repping you up in Louisville. Could really use new tshirts. Can ya hook your favorite sister up? 😂 jk jk Wish I could be in Knoxville watching you guys! Congrats on the sold out show @time_and_eternity #mybrotherthedrummer #soldout #concourse #knoxvilletn #heavymetalbrokemy #heart #areyouevenamillenialifyoudontputsonglyricsinyourSMposts https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc8ynIQLMoAK065mvAQjCqdJI78Li-JnAXXXgw0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Today was my last class I’ll take in Seminary. I’ve learned a lot and been challenged in my thinking. Even if I didn’t agree with everything I was taught, I still greatly appreciate the professors I’ve had. I don’t think it’s sunk in yet that after 4yrs I’m almost done. #almostdone #southernseminary #biblicalcounseling #2022grad https://www.instagram.com/p/Cctm6AxLBVeC9CjRHNlu0UQWVMBN5LyIvSluq40/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

While doing research for my thesis, I found this tweet I had screenshot. If you have been following me at all for the last 5 or so years then you have probably gotten tired of hearing about my sexual assault in 2011. St. Patrick’s Day is the last day that I remember the date for. I was 19 and still trying to figure out where I stood in the world. Victim of sexual assault. That is where I stand. Or at least it’s where I have for the last 11yrs. I am stuck. I am afraid. How do you keep what occurred in your past while also letting go of the hold it has on you? How do you live a different way than you have? I was doing a Bible study and in it the lady said, “who is the devil using to still steal your peace?” I knew the answer. I have had conversations with family and friends about this “victim identity.” I’ve been told that it is either or. Either I am a victim or I am not. How do you choose when a crime was committed against you? How do you choose when there was no justice and no closure? Can I not be a victim who is no longer ruled by my victimness? In my thesis, I conclude that it is ok to keep the victim identity bc a crime was committed against the person. They. Are. A. Victim. To say otherwise is to dismiss their experience and their hurt. To say otherwise diminishes the crime committed against them. Something sexual assault survivors hear often. In my thesis, I conclude that image bearer of God should be put first and how the victim sees themselves. You are a child of God who is also a victim of a crime. So how do you let go of your identity? How do you let go of the only control you’ve had since your was taken away? How do you distinguish the “truths from the almost truths?” How? #11years #needpeace #victimidentity #ImagebearerofGod #doyouknowwhatyouareaskingmetodo #scaredtoletgo https://www.instagram.com/p/CbOJr-KLryUxBp5mi0dHf2SXzfJ-a1IteuF0WE0/?utm_medium=tumblr

Netflix, how did your algorithm bring up Dolly Parton “because I watched criminal minds?” Does Dolly solve crimes? I would so watch that!! #fightingcrime #andsingingsongs #musicalserialkillers #waitthatssweeneytodd #spoilers #dollypartonisawesome #queen #eastTN https://www.instagram.com/p/CbGuPp-A_oWejHsPblw3QxHYacxhsPDqt4G2hE0/?utm_medium=tumblr

Made a new friend tonight https://www.instagram.com/p/CTI6JDTA-xUcKC77NX2yuPZej8NrvqvtKaZDsc0/?utm_medium=tumblr

Had so much fun last night at the KY State Fair with my family. I didn’t realize how big cows are (apparently beef cattle are even bigger 😱). The first picture is the kids on the way TO the fair haha #farmanimals #fair #familyadventures https://www.instagram.com/p/CS4iDRwA8hmgfbWz2DdgIrnyWe-8hpKOvlFxNI0/?utm_medium=tumblr

First day of my last year of grad school #soclose #MAinbiblicalcounseling https://www.instagram.com/p/CSryhe-gwVpZHGoNcVAIqheLIgvl5rNT8xGCak0/?utm_medium=tumblr

Had fun at the Frazier History Museum! I really liked the new suffragette exhibit! I’ve always loved history. I basically got my history degree from UTK for fun. Such a wonderful way to celebrate my 30th birthday. #womenarepeopletoo #gratefulfortheonesbeforeme #nolongerinmy20s #happybirthdaytome #30thbirthday https://www.instagram.com/p/CRhIxzbgCiJlxv1SZB89Rg7DiGfrpo9QRjml1k0/?utm_medium=tumblr

Live music at Stevie Ray’s to end the night. Had a fun time celebrating my birthday! I’m so grateful to be in a city where I can listen to good live music. Btw they’re keyboardist (keys?) dude is freaking amazing!!! Like 🔥🔥 some of his solos were crazy! Also I finally got a pic of my whole outfit! #somuchfun #livemusic https://www.instagram.com/p/CRc5uI6gSyfFZ_RywuvIrzXX0fmNIQpXSFXcsw0/?utm_medium=tumblr

When you’re secretary is both a movie nerd and annoyed that the copier keeps running out of paper #feedmeseymour #papernotpeople #whyistherenopaper #itsrightbehindyou https://www.instagram.com/p/CRUEcLwACR4uU4FihpVnWiJV6fL_rvq50d2ORg0/?utm_medium=tumblr

Learned how to use a Typewriter today! We use it for our Baptism certificates. It only took like 10 trial and errors before I got everything close to the lines 😂 it’s kinda fun to use... until you mess up and are used to the backspace button deleting what you typed. That doesn’t happen with a typewriter. Apparently it just goes back a space 🤷🏻‍♀️ #ancienttech #ibmwheelwriter #typewriter #millenialsecretaryproblems https://www.instagram.com/p/CObIUgFgMveinw0iD5jOPAaiNpcL3mVtV_N3Ew0/?igshid=1qcj3epc56y5l

Kids are crazy! Found these while procrastinating on my homework. Told RJ to say something bc the filter changes your voice... she starts screaming. #auntieJulz #cutestnieceandnephew #whyareyouscreaming https://www.instagram.com/p/CM0d6IHAAjCuTkRu70uzZTE2Xlzbdxi57PjsE80/?igshid=6qesm1kzcnnf