Idril Imagines

*Trigger warning mention of abuse*

Sat at the dining table Rowan tried hard not to scratch at her wound, it had begun to itch and was beginning to drive her insane. Already Leo glared at her for messing with her bandage, after his outburst she had a few chosen words she would like to say to him but he did patch her up when they got inside the apartment.

'What?' she asks him as she catches him staring at her once again.

'You'll open the wound again'

'I don't care, it's driving me crazy'

'Look about before...' he began but was cut off by Rowan.

'It's fine'

'No, it isn't I shouldn't have snapped at you, it's just been a long fucking night'

'I have been asking too many questions, and you're right it's been a long night. Look you'll be out of here soon no doubt and I will be out of your way. I'm not going to stop you, if it makes you feel better to purge then have at it but believe me when I say it won't make you feel any better' Rowan warns him as she stops scratching at her arm.

'And how would you know? Have you purged?'

'I have'

'What?' Leo asks flabbergasted, Rowan did not seem the type of girl to kill someone 'You? But you seem against the purge'

'I am. Something happened to me, a long time ago, I never told anyone this before. My mom thinks I stayed with a friend but I was out looking for them'

'Who were you looking for?'

'The man who raped me'

Anger spread through his body, he could not believe why some sicko would do something like that to her. 

'They hurt you'

'Yes. Please don't tell anyone, I don't want them to think differently about me'

Leo squats down in front of her and takes her hands into his as he looks up into her eyes. He can see in her eyes what happens still affects her and causes her a lot of guilt.

'I promise. Who was he? What happened?'

'He was my mom's boyfriend at the time, I was only fourteen. He waited until my mom was at work when he attacked me, it had happened for two years. My mom knew nothing of what was going on, I was too scared to say anything and I was so scared' Rowan began 'When he and my mom broke up, I was relieved because I would never see him again. No one saw him after that, he left town and I was able to get on with my life. That was until I saw him in town, he saw me and acted as if nothing happened'

Tears slowly fall down her cheeks but Rowan quickly brushes them away, she hates crying in front of people.

'What did you do?'

'I found out that he was working in an elementary school, as a janitor. No one had any idea what he was really like, what he had done to me and I was so scared that he was going to hurt another girl. So, on purge night I took one of my mom's guns and I went to his apartment. I managed to convince him to let me in, I pointed my gun at him and asked him; why he did do what he did. Do you want to know what he told me?'

'What did he say?'

'Why not' Rowan answered him 'I snapped. I shot him'

'Rowan, he deserved it'

'Did he? He should have gone to prison for what he did, but I was so angry. I regret it, I shouldn't have been a coward. I should have told someone, my mom, the police but I didn't'

'Hey, listen to me. He had it coming, if it wasn't you then no doubt it would have been someone else' he tells her 'I know that you think I am going to regret what I am about to do, but we went through the right channels and he did not get punished'

'You're right, I cannot make that decision for you. Only you can'

'I know. Never regret what you did Rowan, that man could have hurt other girls just like you or hurt others'

At the time she killed that man she was in shock, she shot him right in the heart and watched him die on the wooden floor. She stayed until the alarm sounded the next morning, letting her know it was safe to go outside once again. That night sometimes haunted her dreams, she felt relieved at first that he was never coming back but at the same time felt guilty taking someone's life and that it had been so easy. From that night on she swore that she would never hurt another person again, that the purge was nothing but a big lie. That was until she was dragged out Eva's apartment, then try to kill her and her friends.

'I feel like such a hypocrite, judging people for purging when I have done it myself. I hate the purge I wish this night never existed'

'Hey I wouldn't have met you, or your friends' Rowan smiles at him softly as he squeezes her hands gently 'I will be okay, I will come back'