occasional writer, full-time ocean enthusiast. they/them | 18+ | queer | proship. tbh it's mostly reblogs about media i like and random things i find interesting. i block people instead of having a dni list.
A mostly coherent account by K. W. Rushing (they/them) Christmas Eve, 2023. The time is 12:43. I send my best friend Miri a message on Disco
okay, after vagueposting about it for like a month now - here's what i've been up to. the internet is a weird place filled with conflicting information and i made it my mission to unravel a tiny, extremely specific portion of it
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Regaining consciousness you smell the damp. Opening your eyes you see the stone walls of the chamber flickering by the light of the fire; you stumble to your feet and kick a helmet clattering across the floor. Slowly the ache in your head begins to subside and you notice the beginnings of a passage. After a few steps the darkness consumes you.
Okay so. The Romans think that sex doesn't count as real sex unless Someone Is Getting Penetrated By A Dick Or Dick-Adjacent Object. Very sort of dick-centric system.
So Latin has six words for "to fuck", divided into three pairs: one pair for each of the possible Holes (ass, mouth, pussy). In each pair there is a word for topping and a word for bottoming.
Most people who know a little about Latin fuck verbs know 'pedicare' and 'irrumare' from the first line of Catullus 16 (Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō), which is a poem about saying "absolutely shut the fuck up and piss all the way off" to fandom antis and purity police who are making repulsive accusations about you personally, based on things they're reading into your work from a bad-faith perspective. Catullus was so real for that and it's incredibly endearing to me that he was dealing with the same thing we are still dealing with. I got a hater in my askbox doing this about The Wisdom of Emperors just the other day, but I took the high road and, unlike Catullus, did not tell them "I will assfuck you and I will facefuck you"
So here sort of a chart about the verbs:
Topping | Bottoming
Mouth: irrumare | fellare
Ass: pedicare | cevere
Cunt: futuere | crisare
Another fun fact related to the fuck verbs was that the Romans didn't think about sexual orientation in terms of who you're attracted to, they thought about it in terms of "which is your favorite hole and what do you like to do with it." So you'll get graffiti (ancient roman subtweeting) about things like "Marcus is a fututor [cunt-fucker] and a pedico [ass-fucker] but omg girlies I also heard he's a fellator [cock-sucker] 👀👀👀👀" In the modern day we'd just call him bisexual, but in Ancient Rome it is not enough to know if someone is bisexual (they think it's kind of perverted if a man only fucks women, like do you have some kind of freaky pussy fetish???? you've never once even fucked a twink??? dat's gay, bro. gay to not be bi), you also have to know if he's being bisexual in a respectable sort of way
You will notice that pussy-eating is not on this list, because those words do not mean "to fuck", they translate more directly to just "pussy-licking" (cunnilingus), and because the Romans are sexist as all hell and think that's gross and filthy anyway. This is not ONLY because of pussy terror, it's also that the mouth is the most sacred part of the body -- so eating pussy or sucking a dick is actually considered slightly more "shameful" than getting fucked in the ass. (Please note as well that the fuck verbs are gender neutral -- if you're a roman man and your girlfriend owns a strap-on, she can [pedicare] you. but be careful because your sworn enemy in the forum will have a fucking FIELD DAY if he hears about that and will write a Mean Poem about you or subtweet you on a public wall)
The moral of this story is that the Ancient Romans were absolutely *GAGGING* for social media (see Martial's Epigrams, aka My Best Tweets), and the second moral of this story is that if this was a fun post for you, you should look at my kickstarter for alllllll of this kind of nonsense in the form of A Fantasy Novel That's Pretending To Be An Academic Paper With A Fake Bibliography And Foonotes aka The Wisdom of Emperors. And please signal boost this so everyone can know about Latin Fuck Verbs and Roman Subtweeting, we've really learned so much here together
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This is like one of those fake cooking/baking videos where they clearly swapped the item out at a certain step to make it look like the terrible recipe worked... except the guy baking them is just as in the dark about how and when the switcheroo happened as the audience is.
youtube recommendations schlagen einfach mal so "keine angst" vor, direkt gelistet als nummer 1 trending für musik. läuft mit der zdf werbekampagne, ne?
Dropping the first papercraft of the year, and the first full papercraft I've personally done in 4 years (if you exclude commissions and standees). I was grateful to catch one of the limited theatrical screenings of Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein (2025) at the end of last year and I think we can all agree this scene was the stand-out moment in the film. But there were also several themes that hit me with such a powerful resonation, I felt like my soul was sucked into the film and split between the mind of Victor and the heart of the Creature.
Firstly, how could I have not captured this scene in papercraft? Assembling the Creature from scraps of paper, moments before he's meant to become scraps himself. It allowed me to step into Victor's shoes, and relive the obsessive pursuit he describes in the film, only to suddenly meet his goal and aimlessly fumble with what he's created, chaining it in the dungeon, out of sight and mind. I find myself, after tireless nights of dedicated crafting, throwing my completed papercrafts into my closet, documented, abandoned, eager to start the next one.
My Cake Tier Patreon members can download a digital papercraft kit of this when I drop the files later tonight!
Read on further if interested in how this papercraft marks a personal health milestone for me. Otherwise, have a wonderful day!
Why this papercraft marks a personal health milestone for me.
March 2023 is when my health suddenly took a left turn (see Facedown Fate and Night-Glimmer posts). Out of nowhere, I began to have what I call 'low heart rate sessions', where my heart rate for any activity was running 10-15 points lower than normal. I felt like I was walking underwater, my chest felt heavy, I felt cold, and would have to breathe heavy to keep up with the activity I was doing (whether that be walking, or even sitting). Then after several hours, it would suddenly disappear. My HR would rise to normal levels, my breathing would ease, my temperature would rise. No explanation or trigger.
I went to the ER 7 times over the next two months, and with the onset of my second now-chronic symptom, what I refer to as a PVC, I checked into the hospital for evaluation. People who have PVCs describe them as heart flutters, but mine are heart 'kicks'. Like a miniaturized version of the wind being knocked out of you. It's a scary, uncomfortable heart rate hiccup, invoking a short cough, and there's a feeling of dread lasting moments after it happens.
Over the next two years, I went to gastrologists, pulmonary specialists, allergists, 3 different cardiologists, tested so many medications, had multiple CT scans, MRIs, Echos, holter monitors, stress tests, all coming back with 'you're healthy as a horse, it's just stress'. In the end, the only solution my cardiologists could offer were anti-depressants for the stress or beta-blockers for the PVCs (which, hah, lower the heart rate….hello???), which I declined both. I felt if it was stress causing these mystery symptoms, medications interfering with my productivity would just make me more stressed.
During the height of my symptoms I would experience a PVC every 20 minutes, invoked by sudden HR changes (even something like eating shaved ice, which triggers a hypothermic response through your tongue) or random stress events. Eventually, I cut out unnecessary stress in my life (like the news) and I saw my PVCs start to recede to a handful of times per day, months later.
Now, almost three years later, I'm only experiencing them a couple of times a week, if at all, after significant lifestyle changes and rigorous stress deterrents that I invoked at the start of 2025.
I sat through the Frankenstein film marveling at how bosom buddies I was with Victor's ambitions, only to realize I was experiencing my second self through the Creature. A being who was confused in his body, and clashing with his creator, desperate for answers on how to continue living as he is.
Him holding onto the dynamite stick was a taunted retribution toward Victor, but there's a moment of desperate hope in his eyes that this could be the way to unmake himself, perhaps into something Victor would realize he has to accept.
Last year I had to unmake myself to put everything back together with where I'm at now. With those tools in my pocket, I have a better outlook for 2026 and beyond. Rather than the closet, I've hung this frame in my hallway to remind me of this milestone, my Creature, everyday.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming