i’ve got idiot pussy disorder

dumb gay stupid syndrome

hornyitis

you know what really fucking gets my cookies frosted sometimes??? i’ll be on the goddamn blue website scrolling along and suddenly come across a picture like this and i actually stop scrolling and go out of my way to share a picture of a man with a sly grin holding a fucking pineapple with a bunch of people who choose to look at what i put on my blog. people expect this from me. i hold the power to grace a plethora of people’s eyes with this picture. almost 20 thousand other people have looked at this and subconsciously decided that this represents the type of image that they want to share with others with no context. look at this man

When I was like, 9 years old I thought sponfebob was attractive and sexy and I said I wanted to marry him and my dad frowned really hard af me and said ‘don’t say that’ then he got up and went to his room and shut the door

did he ever come out

Please follow me on Twitter I’m more fun there

tiktok makers on my porch dressed as catgirls: *making ahegao faces and moaning loudly* me: *runs out with a shotgun and shoots up at the air as a warning shot* GIT OUTTA HEARE YA DAMN TIKTOKERS! GIT! tiktok catgirls: *get on all fours and run like deer into the woods*

and theyre dating and theyre very open abt their bdsm practices

*doing a tarot card reading* uh oh… this guy has a sword… better watch out for that…

the world hasn’t killed us yet and it’s gonna regret that

this is honestly the most uplifting and hopeful thing i have read regarding my continued existence.