Hear's my resume.

He's ready. #hired #resume #jobs #funny #recruiter humor

It's extremely helpful to include a photo with your résumé, it gives the employer a chance to see the "real" you.

If you choose to include personal interests on your résumé, they need to include things that actually matter (i.e. helping the homeless, curing cancer, etc.)  It shouldn't resemble your Match.com profile.  

Thank you for confirming we made the right choice by not hiring you.  Does anyone know how to actually fuck a car payment?  

If it does take you twelve years to get through high school, don't put it on your résumé.

I'm sorry, Sir, but you have the wrong number.  You don't actually work here.

As the world turns…