wha if instead of jimmy falon his name was jimmy talon and he was a great and terrible bird
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wha if instead of jimmy falon his name was jimmy talon and he was a great and terrible bird

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Hawaiʻi is about to defeat Citizens United
Aloha mai kÄkou.
If you live on land that has been taken over by the colonialist government that calls itself the United States of America, you may be aware of the 2010 Supreme Court ruling Citizens United v. FEC, often referred to as simply Citizens United. For those who are unaware, Citizens United effectively prohibits placing limitations on the political spending of corporations, citing the first amendment (free speech) protections. Many know this ruling as the one that solidified the US model of corporations acting as, and having the right of, people, while actual people living on this land are routinely denied those same rights. If you have been hearing about PAC's recently, this ruling is about PACs.
The acting government for the Kingdom of Hawaiʻi, along with several other state governments acting on Turtle Island, have been looking into various ways to remove this blockade on the ability of individuals to fight against corporate lobbying and buying out of politicians. The people living on mokupuni o Hawaiʻi, in particular, have a contentious relationship with corporations buying out government, as the Kingdom of Hawaiʻi was illegally overthrown by the United States of America and acting corporations, instead installing one of their leaders, Stanford Dole (yes, that Dole company, the one that ruined land, plants, animals, water, and livelihoods, and which still sells back hala kahiki - pineapple - back to us) as the President.
Our refusal of Citizens United works by redefining corporations as artificial persons that are created by state law, and are thus granted rights and privileges solely by state law. This is backed by our state Constitution, rather than through federal precedent. This is a similar strategy to the one Montana has just used to successfully protect all trans people within their state from both federal and state anti-trans legislature, through citing their constitution as protecting transgender people as a class.
This bill has been written, it has passed the state House, it has passed the state Senate, and it has just fallen onto the desk of Governor Josh Green to sign. If he signs it, it will immediately get taken up in court. If it wins in court, we will be free from Citizens United, and all other states will be open to take this same path.
If you have feelings about this, no matter where you are from, please call or message Governor Josh Green, phone number (808) 586-0034, requesting he sign the bill and showing your support for this initiative.
Please also offer your support to the legislators who sponsored this bill, as they have put a lot of effort into making this happen:
Sen. Karl Rhoads: (808) 271-5995, [email protected] or [email protected] (not running again for office)
Sen. Carol Fukunaga: (808) 586-6460, [email protected]
Sen. Jarrett Keohokalole: (808) 587-7215, [email protected] (He is also running for Federal Congress)
Sen. Joy San Buenaventura: (808) 586-6890, [email protected]
Aʻohe lokomaikaʻi i nele i ke pana ʻi.
Okay so why are people treating a trans man playing on a womens soccer team in Minnesota as a win. Why are queer news places saying âhes making historyâ by playing on the womenâs team.
âTrans men are excluded and unsafe on mens teams - so a trans man instead plays on womens team. This is somehow a win and the team releases a statement on how #inclusive they areâ âhow is this a feel good story
You know whenever I see âfeel-goodâ stories about trans men being in womenâs spaces - I really sit and wonder if those spaces allow trans women. Or is the only inclusion they do of trans people when they are still enforcing the sex binary onto trans men.
Because a lot of times Iâve seen âwomens groupsâ go âlook how inclusive we are! We have one trans man. Oh trans women?âŠ. Uh we dont have any because we dont allow themâ
to me it just reads as "Heartwarming: trans man organizationally considered a woman; trans women still excluded, don't worry!"
it's for real indistinguishable from the most basic, overt transphobia out there
this is a very telling quote from the athlete in question. what do we think is meant by "fairness" here?
The USLW league (National Women's Soccer League) allows both trans women and trans men to compete provided their testosterone is within the range of a cis woman's (no matter how they get to that point - so hrt is allowed to suppress testosterone).
I repeat. This soccer league allows all trans people to compete.
What league doesnât do this, you may ask? The equivalent men's soccer league.
Itâs very obvious that there is tons of rhetoric around how trans people competing in sports is unfair. Thatâs like the main argument used against us being allowed to compete. Heâs saying the presence of trans people on a team can be proof that this is not the case.
He is not taking a spot away from trans women. He is participating in the only professional league that will allow him. This league also allows trans women to compete. There is not a single spot in the league that is exclusive to only trans people that he is taking up.
This is not a win because the PR on this has obviously completely fucking failed to the point where almost nobody knows the actual rules and restrictions around this.
I have seen a huge amount of vitriol against this guy, this team, and this league for wanting to compete in his sport and doing it in the only trans-inclusive league around. The league that ALSO lets trans women compete.
We could talk about why trans women arenât actually enrolled in the league despite rules allowing them, but instead y'all want to be mad at another trans person because he's doing his best in a shitty situation.
Great job y'all.
i would like to formally thank you, on behalf of all transfeminine people, for your brave efforts to enlighten us about our own oppression. truly, you have dealt a blow against stupid trannies across the globe with your steadfast commitment to telling us how we're actually totally allowed to be in that sports league, and that it's just complete coincidence that none of us have ever been able to join. thank you, brave transmasc, for your boundless dedication.
I would love to talk about all the ways trans women are systematically denied from women's sports.
This single trans guy, who is *also* systematically denied from accessing sports leagues that actually align with his gender, is not evil for participating in a sport in the *only* way he can. Trans women exist in men's sports leagues as the only ways in which they can still play in sports. And yet I have never seen a single campaign or genuine call to action about preventing trans women from having the "privilege" of being able to access men's sports leagues because they're taking away from trans men. Because thatâs stupid as fuck and transphobic as fuck and just serves to continue to oppress a group that is being denied access.
Obviously I can deal no blow against your hatred for the "wrong" type of trans person. I hope you reconsider calling us slurs, and that progress marches forward and advances your rights even as you try desperately to hold them back by hating trans people for... participating in society.
Okay so why are people treating a trans man playing on a womens soccer team in Minnesota as a win. Why are queer news places saying âhes making historyâ by playing on the womenâs team.
âTrans men are excluded and unsafe on mens teams - so a trans man instead plays on womens team. This is somehow a win and the team releases a statement on how #inclusive they areâ âhow is this a feel good story
You know whenever I see âfeel-goodâ stories about trans men being in womenâs spaces - I really sit and wonder if those spaces allow trans women. Or is the only inclusion they do of trans people when they are still enforcing the sex binary onto trans men.
Because a lot of times Iâve seen âwomens groupsâ go âlook how inclusive we are! We have one trans man. Oh trans women?âŠ. Uh we dont have any because we dont allow themâ
to me it just reads as "Heartwarming: trans man organizationally considered a woman; trans women still excluded, don't worry!"
it's for real indistinguishable from the most basic, overt transphobia out there
this is a very telling quote from the athlete in question. what do we think is meant by "fairness" here?
The USLW league (National Women's Soccer League) allows both trans women and trans men to compete provided their testosterone is within the range of a cis woman's (no matter how they get to that point - so hrt is allowed to suppress testosterone).
I repeat. This soccer league allows all trans people to compete.
What league doesnât do this, you may ask? The equivalent men's soccer league.
Itâs very obvious that there is tons of rhetoric around how trans people competing in sports is unfair. Thatâs like the main argument used against us being allowed to compete. Heâs saying the presence of trans people on a team can be proof that this is not the case.
He is not taking a spot away from trans women. He is participating in the only professional league that will allow him. This league also allows trans women to compete. There is not a single spot in the league that is exclusive to only trans people that he is taking up.
This is not a win because the PR on this has obviously completely fucking failed to the point where almost nobody knows the actual rules and restrictions around this.
I have seen a huge amount of vitriol against this guy, this team, and this league for wanting to compete in his sport and doing it in the only trans-inclusive league around. The league that ALSO lets trans women compete.
We could talk about why trans women arenât actually enrolled in the league despite rules allowing them, but instead y'all want to be mad at another trans person because he's doing his best in a shitty situation.
Great job y'all.
I havenât talked about the California governor race on here much but about a month ago my dad asked me who in voting for and I said Iâm not deciding until we get closer to the election. A month is plenty of time for a scandal to show up.
Then two weeks later Eric Swalwellâs sexual abuse scandals came to light and he resigned and I was like I told you. I told you that was enough time for another scandal to pop up.
Anyways Iâm not making my final decision until my sample ballot shows up. Iâll do more in depth research on these clowns when Iâm at least like 80% sure there wonât be any more scandals before the primary.
Frankly the beginning pool of candidates was too big. I knew theyâd get whittled down by scandals and low polling numbers eventually.
Still not my final decision just yet but Iâm somewhat tempted to vote for Becerra just because heâs mostly inoffensive.
Steyer isnât the worst option either but heâs also a billionaire. Ew.
Steyer is offensive because he's a billionaire. There is no ethical way to be a billionaire. What he claims to care about is overshadowed by the fact that he has billions of dollars, which is literally not possible to gain nor maintain without intentionally choosing to fuck people over.
I have no idea why so many people in CA who have previously been so enthusiastic about "eat the rich" are suddenly just as enthusiastic about making excuses for a billionaire running for office.

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just very confidently in a meeting said "steve jobs, who my mother has a massive crush on,"
Yeah. So I meant Rick Steves. The travel guide. Not the. Apple guy.
In my defense they are both people whose names are 2 white boy names smashed together. and they both involve Steve.
Happy TDoV!
I am feeling very trans
And very visible... đïžđïž
i feel like the rest of that tweet should be shown:
Watching the ads for a movie and they're about impaired driving:
My gf: "That parked car came out of nowhere"
Me: "Your mom came out of nowhere. It all happened so quickly. I'm not sure she's ever cum before this"
Also can anyone explain why we've been shown THREE separate ads for the movie we're about to watch that ALL CONTAIN SPOILERS?? For the movie we just paid to watch?? Hello?
The peanut M&M ad has a line about "silencing your phones not your crunch" right after a little animation of covering a peanut with chocolate and the yellow m&m going "I didn't know I had a peanut inside me!" Unfortunately, prior to the silencing phones comment we decided that peanut = prostate, which meant I said, loudly and instantly:
Silence your phones, not your moans!
So. Thankfully still an empty scene...
Watching the ads for a movie and they're about impaired driving:
My gf: "That parked car came out of nowhere"
Me: "Your mom came out of nowhere. It all happened so quickly. I'm not sure she's ever cum before this"
Also can anyone explain why we've been shown THREE separate ads for the movie we're about to watch that ALL CONTAIN SPOILERS?? For the movie we just paid to watch?? Hello?

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Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Watching the ads for a movie and they're about impaired driving:
My gf: "That parked car came out of nowhere"
Me: "Your mom came out of nowhere. It all happened so quickly. I'm not sure she's ever cum before this"
Hawaiʻi is currently in the midst of a natural disaster if you didnt know
Apparently there isnât much news coverage of this outside of the islands
Towns are flooded, homes destroyed and collapsed, roads collapsed, lives at risk, gas leaks from the flood damage
Haleiwa and Waialua are currently evacuated because the 120 year old dam is at risk of bursting
Mind you that damn is owned by Dole. Theyve known about it needing to be fixed for years and years and years. Despite having more than enough money they refuse
The state has been trying to buy it out from them for years so they can fix it, but the sale hasnât gone through
Keep in mind that the Dole family were the ones who illegally imprisoned Queen Liliuʻokalani and illegally overthrew the monarchy.
If I see another goddamn person say how sad this is for the tourists whose âtrips were ruinedâ and compare a messed up vacation to people losing their homes, belongings, and livelihoods, Iâm going to lose my mind
I am so lucky that my family or friendâs are safe and the few whose houses flooded didnt have it too bad, but so so so many were not as fortunate
If you havenât heard anything about this until now, I suggest looking into it
The sirens didnât go off until the flood had been going on for hours. Our state government is spending so much money on a fucking monorail we donât need rather than fixing the infrastructure.
Itâs been the locals and Kanaka doing the most to help get people to safety from the start
I donât really know how to end this
I just need to know people are aware
I need to know people are seeing whats happening
Dole the fruit company started the dole plantation in 1901 in HawaÊ»i as the âhawaiian pineapple companyâ
Dole the fruit company got big from plantations, colonialism, and exploitation in Hawaiʻi
Dole the fruit company monopolized land for their plantations, exploited local labor as well as immigrant labor from the people they shipped in to work, and depleted the soil and introduced toxic pesticides
Dole the fruit company was the cousin of Sanford B Dole who helped overthrow the monarchy and became the governor of hawaiʻi afterwards
Dole purchased the island of LÄnaÊ»i and made it tbe largest pineapple plantation in the world
LÄnaÊ»i is now 98% owned by larry ellison, cofounder and chairman of oracle
Dole the fruit company had sugarcane plantations across hawaiʻi as well as pineapple
For over 150 years, millions of gallons of water were diverted daily from natural streams to sugarcane plantations on Maui
This caused irreparable damage to the ecosystem and is largely if not wholly responsible for how dry Maui is to this day
The dryness of Maui played a huge factor into the severity of the Lahaina fires
That control over water shifted political power to colonizers which aided them in overthrowing the monarchy
yes, dole the fruit company owns a dam in Hawaiʻi
they still have massive pineapple farms in hawaiʻi
The dole plantation on Oahu is now a tourist attraction where theyâll take you on the âpineapple express train tourâ or the âplantation garden tourâ
They turned it into a tourist attraction
Also: the dam is no longer at imminent risk of failure
BUT
that in no way means it isnât still an issue
this is an earthen dam, not a concrete one
it was not meant to last this long
Earthen dams are weakened every time it rains. So even though itâs no longer at imminent risk of failure, the danger is still there
Earthen damns begin to erode once water runs over them
Hereâs a good, local news article on this that @proustianrevelry linked in the rbs
Hawaiʻi's proposal to acquire the dam, and have taxpayers foot the bill for repairs, let the company off the hook.
I had to fly to California for a family emergency (my dad, who lives there now, got diagnosed with cancer), and on the flight back to Honolulu I sat next to some very friendly tourists. I had been calling family all week to make sure they were okay, if the road that collapsed was keeping them from getting food, if they had enough water. Being off-island, I had the best cell service, and so people called to get information from me about other people who they couldn't reach at that moment. Coordinating with my partner when our ceiling started leaking (in a middle floor of a high rise!). My seat-mates were coming back for vacations.
When they learned I was #local or whatever (I am BARELY local. I have Hawai'ian family, I have lived part of my life here, but I'm too haole to be local), they told me they didnât think the flights would be full because it isn't "peak season." Spring break? Maybe they think people who live here donât travel anywhere else.
When I told them my family lives on Maui, two of them told me that they had actually planned for their trip to be "in Maui" and changed it to O'ahu due to "the weather." Such a shame, they said. Maui is such a perfect vacation spot, they said. O'ahu doesnât have beaches that are as nice. "Yea, Maui nĆ ka 'oi," I said, briefly forgetting who I was talking to. They had no idea what I meant.
One of them went to Maui last in winter of 2023. Less than 4 months after the fires. Peak "we told people repeatedly to not fucking come here" season. I grew up there. I remember. HThe sirens didn't go off when they should have, just like this month. I know someone who died. He was the reason I took music classes in college. They brought it up so casually.
The lady who had been to Maui tried to ask me about local spots on O'ahu. She tried to name a few places. She didnât know how to pronounce them. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I had been shockingly well-insulated from tourists.
Anyway, if they go into the water, as it sounds like they plan on doing, they're gonna get sick. Because they donât know the flood water has sewage in it. And all the water on any island ends up back in the ocean. Which you'd know, if you looked at the water or knew anything about the Ala Moana canal or spent time thinking about all the people who live here. But they don't.
actually I lied, this was the funniest part of that doctor's appointment
if you read about any biology you can quickly lose touch with what is astonishing and miraculous vs what is mundane, from animals that steal chloroplasts to become photosynthetic, to cloning technology being old hat, to trees that didnât biodegrade for tens of millions of years, to naturally occurring lateral gene transfer between vastly different species, to the creation of gametes from adult cells, to the ability of some cancers to induce blood vessel growth, to desert shrimp that lie dormant for years, to the sensitivity of human touch receptors, to the fact that human hardware has a latent ability to see UV but their corneas block those wavelengths, to birds that echolocate and live in caves, to human skin being covered in enzymes that destroy RNA, to individual trees becoming genetic tapestries branch by branch, to life forms that gain energy from the electron potential of metals in their environments, to plants that recognize their siblings and adjust their behavior accordingly when growing next to them, to metamorphosis
which is to say. All of it is miraculous. and all of it is mundane. biology is Chaos vs. Order locking horns forever
wait everyone put in the tags where u were when u found out about the nationwide/global covid shutdown. i was eating a bag of chips on the roof of the remote building where i was leading a retreat and i had to help break the news to 50 high school students who didnât have their phones
I first heard about covid after a school trip! It was the second/third week of January 2020. We had given up our phones / left them with our parents.
When we left folks were worried about WWIII with Iran.
When we came back, the first words my family said to me were "have you heard about the virus??!?"
The school trip was to China.

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The stereotype of the nerd girl taking her glasses off and suddenly she's beautiful, but in reverse. A cold tough mean office lady who glares at everyone until she gets glasses and suddenly becomes sweet, approachable and friendly since she no longer has a constant headache over not being able to fucking see, doesn't need to squint at everything, and actually remembers individual people by name now that she can tell them apart at all.
Reverse Randall from Monster's Inc
When I started middle school in a new town, at a private all-girls school, one of the only people who would talk to me was (half) Iranian. Her dad doesn't talk about his life before moving here. We've known each other for years. She tells me about her experiences between each half of her family. She can only occasionally visit her dad's side, because Iran and the US do not have diplomatic relations, and people with American passports are not allowed into Iran.
My best friend in high school is Iranian. Their family moved here in 1980. We know why they moved. We have the same taste in music. We shared music playlists, and I got into some of the Iranian bands they liked. They were isolated - so as soon as I got my driver's license, I would spend evenings at their house. I started to learn Farsi for them. They were so excited to speak it with someone outside of their family. For my birthday, the year we left for college, they gave me one of their childhood books in Farsi.
A college friend of mine noticed the playlist when we were sharing music. We already had a shared history - he had come to the US from Norway, and I have Norwegian family and speak some of the language. He recognized an Iranian band. His mother, still living in Iran, had sent him to high school in Norway, at great expense to the both of them. He was able to get a Norwegian passport, which allowed him to attend college in the US - already in massive debt. He's a politics major. I asked him why he wanted to go into politics - he could have done a lot of things, and had a variety of interests. He told me that he wants to be the first diplomat serving the US and Iran.
Let my friends have peace.