Untitled

john: wont you come in and sign in please!!!!

whistles from the audience

guest signing their name: jane smith

john: Janet smythe? Is that correct? Is it miss or mrs

guest: miss

whistles from the audience

[job: puts the worms together at a worm factory]

john: let’s start with bennett cerf

bennett: i thought you wanted to finish with me John

john: no I said I want to finish in you

bennett: he’s such a menace. sorry miss smith. do you deal in services?

guest: no

john, talking over guest: THATS ONE DOWN NINE TO GO BENNETT. miss francis?

arlene: you’re so gorgeous. I had hoped you deal in services….. well you are simply so hot and sexy I would be stunned if your product didn’t have something to do with beauty. Do you make lipstick? Yo ucould get your lipstick all over me. If you want

guest: no

john, talking over guest: NO. 2 DOWN 8 TO GO. martin gabel

martin: my wife really likes you miss smith. maybe you two should go out some time. is your product mechanical in some way?

guest: no

john, talking over guest: NO. 3 DOWN 7 TO GO. Ms kilgallen

dorothy: am I correct in assuming your product is animal rather than vegetable or mineral?

guest: that’s right

dorothy: where will you be on November 22 1963?

guest: ?????

john: SMALL CONFERENCE PLEASE

arlene: I think we all wanna have a conference with her

bennett: I know I do

john: will you repeat the question please, dorothy

dorothy: I said, is this an animal I would likely keep in my house?

audience laughs hysterically

guest: you could….

john, talking over guest: SMALL CONFERENCE PLEASE

…

john: well one could, hypothetically keep and/or store this animal (your word dorothy) in one’s place of residence if one had such specific use for it. however I would caution you from going in the direction you’re going as you refer to animal, and tell you that one is not necessarily likely to find this in a domestic environment, so to speak.

dorothy: just tell me no John.

bennett: stop edging us john

arlene: speaking of edging….. miss smith