people who carry their groceries home on public transportation are stronger than any marine

Me, buying pierogi in the dead of night from an elderly Slavic woman who sells frozen baked goods cash-only from the back of an unmarked van: Oh, yeah, that’s the stuff.

This is… so specific

It’s not real pierogi unless the person selling it is committing tax evasion. You can taste the difference.

my third eye has astigmatism 

Dismissing Romeo and Juliet as dumb horny teens is OUT, crying because every attempt these children made to show love, kindness and tolerance in the face of senseless hate only led to more violence and death is IN

some hick who smokes like 87 joints a day and tailgates you then passes you in a do not pass zone going 65 mph in a 30 mph zone in his muddy jeep with no doors whose already balding at 23: well maybe immigrants shouldn’t have broken the law

As a wise philosopher named Marina once said “I know I’ve got a big ego .. I really don’t know why it’s such a big deal tho” 😪👌🏻💯