I smoshed your Mom

     “Hey guys, today (Y/n) and I are going to be getting married!”

     There was a chorus of laughter from the crew as Ian went off-script. 

     “That is not what’s happening,” you said, in your best news anchor voice. 

     “She said no, cut the video,” Ian joked, spiking the camera.

     You laughed, rolling your eyes at him as he continued the intro.

     “But seriously, it is Valentine’s Day and to show you all how much we love and appreciate you, we’re going to be reacting to some fan compilations. Specifically compilations of us, because apparently, and Erin would be so proud of me for using this phrase, you ship it.”

     Ian gestured between the two of you. It was true. You’d started out at Smosh as an editor but after appearing in a TNTL Crew episode, the audience loved you and you kept making more and more appearances on camera.

     You were almost a regular cast member at this point. The new Tommy, people called you. And ever since you had begun appearing more regularly, fans had started shipping you with Ian immediately.

     It helped that you two were good friends and that most of the videos you were in, he was in as well. You and Ian had been close for a while now, ever since you’d started at Smosh a few years back.  

     You’d never thought of you guys as anything more than that though. Friends. But it was fun imagining the fans analyzing your interactions and making more of them. You couldn’t wait to watch the compilations.

     “We have compiled some edits and videos that you guys have made that are apparently about me and Ian,” you said. “I guess now that Shayne and Courtney are married and there aren’t enough clips of Angela and Mater, we’re ‘the ship’.”

     Ian nodded, laughing. “We haven’t watched these yet but I can’t wait to get started so let’s jump right in, shall we?”

     “We shall. This first one is called ‘ian and (y/n) being endgame for 17 minutes straight’ by rogertheredditor. Do we need to give a definition of endgame for Daddy Ian?”

     “Hey!” Ian protested. “I watched avengers.”

     That got a laugh from the crew and you put a hand on Ian’s shoulder.

     “Ok,” you said. “Let’s dive in.”

     You pressed play on the video and watched as clips of you and Ian came on the screen. Most of them were from videos you were in together, Reddit stories and TNTLs and challenge pit. You leaned your elbow on the table, giving the laptop all of your attention. 

 ───────↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺───────

     “Oh my gosh, Ian you can’t say that on camera!” You exclaimed as Shayne laughed, the iPad almost falling out of his hands. 

     “Well if James Charles didn’t want me talking about it, then he shouldn’t have done it,” Ian defended. 

     You smacked Ian on the shoulder as you laughed and he shoved your hand away yelling ‘cooties!’

     This only made you giggle more and you threw a pillow at him. He caught it, pretending to repeatedly hit you with it.

 ───────↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺───────

     You pressed pause. “I don’t even remember what you said. I just know we had to bleep it out.”

     “Oh I do,” Ian said, laughing. “It was—”

     “Next clip!” You interrupted him, pressing play.

 ───────↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺───────

     “Watch this” you told the camera, glancing at Ian in the stool. “This is about to be the fastest bit in TNTL history.”

     Ian looked at you with confusion in his eyes as you walked towards him, leaning in to whisper something in his ear.

     He immediately spit his water and you clapped, feeling triumphant. Ian choked on water as he lost it. 

     “Wait, now we have to know what you said!” Courtney exclaimed, coming out from behind the divider.

     “Inside joke,” you informed her. 

     “Wait, (Y/n),” Ian said, gesturing to you to come closer, a mischievous smile on his face. “Remember…”

     He leaned in and whispered something in your ear and you both started laughing again.

    “Get a room!” Angela called from off camera. 

───────↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺───────

     “Dude, I remember that,” Ian said, stopping the video. 

     “And we did get a room after that,” you joked. You remembered that moment too, you and Ian laughing over something no one else would’ve understood. You didn’t realize there were so many of these kinds of clips of you and Ian. 

     “(Y/n) stop! They’re gonna believe you and then this clip is going to be put in edits.”

     “You’re welcome Ian and (Y/n) shippers,” you winked at the camera.

     “Wait, we need a ship name,” Ian announced.

     “Put our ship name on the comments,” you said, starting the video again.

───────↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺───────

     “Oh my gosh, I’m gonna puke.”

     You waved your hand in front of your face as you tried to swallow—whatever was in your mouth.

     “What you are eating—or, drinking—is called ‘The Birthday Smoothie’,” Courtney read from the card. “Anchovies, birthday sprinkles, spice drops, and cream of wheat.”

     You gagged and Ian put a hand on your back, laughing. 

     “Can we fly in the puke bucket for (Y/n)?” He asked, looking at you in amusement as you grabbed on to the table, covering your mouth. 

     Courtney handed it to you and you turned, emptying the contents of your mouth into the bucket. Ian rubbed your back as everyone reacted. 

     “You’re ok,” he chuckled.

     You came up a moment later, wiping under your eyes and fixing your hair.

     “That was disgusting.”

     “You’re so dramatic,” Ian rolled his eyes. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

     “Oh yeah, tough guy? Care to try it then.” You gestured to the smoothie still sitting on the table.

     “I would but—I’m on a diet so…”

     You giggled, rolling your eyes. 

    “Oh, you have a—” Ian trailed off, reaching to carefully pull a strand of hair off of your mic, tucking it behind your ear. “There.”

───────↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺───────

     And that was the end of the video. You sat there for a moment. You of course remembered that Eat it or Yeet it—in fact it was only filmed a couple weeks ago.

But you hadn’t realized how sweet Ian had been.

     You couldn’t get the image of him rubbing your back out of your head. Of him tucking your hair behind your ears.

     You turned to Ian now, only to find he was already looking at you. 

     “Um—well that was the first compilation. What did you think Ian?”

     “I think I looked good in all those clips so I’m not complaining.” Ian shrugged.

     “Ok Buddy,” you teased. “On to the next one. This one’s called ‘more ian and (y/n) clips that make anthony jealous’ by amangelalover9. Let’s jump in.”

     This video had some of the same clips from the first one but others were ones you hadn’t seen yet. A lot were times you and Ian shared the screen but others were simply moments where one of you mentioned or talked about the other one. 

───────↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺───────

    “I was with Ian the other day…”

     “You know who would think this was so funny? (Y/n).”

     “Wait let me text Ian and settle this.”

     “Bro, (Y/n) said the most wild shit last night…”

───────↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺───────

     You watched with Ian, laughing and remembering each part that came on.

     A clip appeared that was older than many of the others—one of your earlier videos, judging by your hairstyle.

───────↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺───────

     “Hey guys, welcome back to challenge pit!” Keith announced. “Today we’re going to be competing to see who can win at doing household chores—but with a twist. I’m talking swords and shit.”

     “Swords and shit? Title of your sex tape.” Ian leaned over and mumbled to you.

     You busted up laughing and everyone else turned to see what was so funny.

     “Sorry Keith,” you wheezed. “Keep going with the intro. Please finish.”

     “Also the title of your sex tape.”

───────↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺───────

     Ian reached forward pausing the video on the laptop. “I remember that day.”

     “It was at the end of a shoot week, right?” You asked.

     Ian nodded, looking wistful. “Yeah. I remember it was the first time I made you laugh.”

     “Must have been the very end of a shoot week and I was delirious,” you teased, but your mind was on his words.

     Ian clutched his chest in mock offense. You giggled, nudging his shoulder as you pressed play again.

     As you watched more of the video and laughed with Ian, you couldn’t get his words out of your head. 

     I remember it was the first time I made you laugh

     He kept track of that?

     Eventually, the video ended and you moved on to the final one. 

     “That was so good,” Ian chuckled. “We are so Shourtney coded. Like I feel like if we announced that we were secretly married, no one would be shocked.”

     “Again with the marriage? Is this whole video a secret proposal or something?”

     “Only if you’d say yes,” Ian countered. 

     You knew he was joking, but something about his eyes—about the way he was looking at you—made your heart beat faster. It was probably just the effects of being in a video about you and Ian being in a ‘relationship’, but you found yourself imagining what it would be like if it was real.

     You had a sudden image of leaning across the table and bringing your lips to his. 

     You shook it off. “The jury’s out on that one. Meanwhile, our final video is titled ‘ian and (y/n) putting kelce and taylor to shame and giving us more feels than that one scene from marley and me’ and this one was posted by pandalover717.”

     The crew laughed at the long title and you kept talking. 

     “This is a shorter one—”

     “Shayne,” Ian coughed. A loud ‘hey!’ came from off-camera. You ignored them.

     “—so we’ll see what it entails. Let’s go.”

     You started the video and a Taylor Swift song started playing, dramatizing shots of you and Ian talking or hugging or falling on each other as you laughed.

     I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

    Darling, you’re the one I want 

     Was this how everyone saw you and Ian? You had always been close but—had you been missing something.

    I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this 

    Darling you’re the one I want 

     How did you see you and Ian? How did he? You tried to think of your relationship from the perspective of these edits and fan videos.

     I want to drive away with you 

     I want your complications too.

     You tried to stop your heart from racing. You were starting to see Ian in a whole new light. 

     I want to drive away with you. 

     I want your complications too.

     Seeing all of these moments that you’d had with Ian—you were beginning to form a clearer picture that you hadn’t been able to see before. 

     I want your dreary Mondays 

     Wrap your arms around me, baby boy 

     Maybe one you hadn’t let yourself see before.

     Because you and Ian were friends. Best friends. 

     But what if you could be more than that. 

     You were lost in your thoughts as the video ended and Ian tapped a button on the laptop.

     “That song slaps every time,” Ian announced, turning to you. “What’d you think of that one?”

     You shook yourself out of it, answering Ian. “I love a good edit. These were all so good and it’s so much fun to see how you guys interpret interactions and find little hidden meanings in things.”

     “Or not-so-hidden meanings,” Ian said. He sounded so sincere that it threw you off.

     “What?”

     “Nothing. What—what was your favorite moment from all of those clips? Personally mine is when you lost your lunch after that smoothie.”

     You smacked his arm and he ducked away from you, holding up his arms in surrender. 

     “Not funny Ian, my stomach wasn’t right for a week. And I don’t know if I have a favorite, there were a lot of good ones. By some crazy coincidence basically all of the videos I’ve been in have been with this guy.”

      Ian was silent a moment.

     “And—and what if it wasn’t?” He finally said. “A coincidence, I mean.”

     “What?”

     “It was at the beginning but then I, um, might’ve asked to be put in every video you were going to be in,” Ian admitted, running a hand along the back of his neck nervously. 

     “Why?” Your voice came out breathless. “Why would you—”

      “Well,” Ian started, crossing his arms over his chest. “For starters, how else would people have enough content to make edits about us?”

     “Ian.”

     “Fine. At first it was just to hang out with you more,” Ian said, “We were such good friends and—and then it was more than that. Y’know, once I, kind of, fell in love with you.”

     You could’ve sworn your heart stopped. The room was silent. As far as you were concerned it was just you and Ian.  

     “Is this some bit for the video or—”

     “It’s not a bit,” Ian confessed, smiling ruefully. “I wish it was, because that I’d be good at. I’m not good at this. At emotions and feelings and—”

     But he never got to finish that sentence because you leaned over and kissed him. He kissed you back, his lips crashing into yours with an intensity you’d never seen from him. 

     When you broke apart, the entire room erupted into applause and shouts of ‘oh my god’ and ‘guys!’ and ‘pay up shayne, where’s my 30 bucks?’. That last one was Chanse.

     But you hardly heard any of it. You could only smile at Ian as he smiled back at you. 

     “Wow,” you said. “That was not how I imagined this video ending.”

     “Me neither,” Ian said. “But a guy can dream.”

     You smiled, thinking about how Ian had felt about you all this time. How you felt about him now. It would be a miracle if you could stop smiling.

      You looked away from Ian and towards the camera as Spencer spoke from behind it. “I think I speak for all the fans when I say we are going to have a field day with this video in our next edits. This is straight out of a Lynn Painter book”

     “We?” You asked, intertwining your fingers with Ian’s at the same time as Ian said,

“You read Lynn Painter books? 

     “Yeah,” Spencer shrugged “They’re dope as hell.”

     You giggled as he continued, a small smirk on his face. “And as for the edits…

Who do you think pandalover717 is?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     “Alright the event this Friday, what’s everyone wearing?” Courtney said, putting her legs up on the table in front of her.  

    You were lounging around the studio with almost the entire Smosh cast in between shoots. 

    “Exactly what I’m wearing right now?” Angela lifted her head from Amanda’s lap and gestured to her sweatshirt.

     “Very funny,” Courtney said.

     “Honestly same,” Shayne agreed, looking up from his phone.

     Courtney shot him a look but secretly you agreed with him. It wasn’t that you didn’t care about the YouTube event Smosh was going to, it was just that you weren’t exactly excited about it. You kind of had a history of embarrassing yourself at things like this. Like last month when you tripped in your impossibly tall heels and landed in the lap of a very unhappy old man. In his defense, you had spilled wine down the front of his dress shirt.

     “As long as there’re no heels involved, I don’t really care what it is,” You said.

     “You people have no sense of style,” Courtney faked disgust. 

     “Speak for yourselves, this chain begs to differ,” Ian walked into the room, pretending to model the outfit he was wearing.

     “He wears one chain and suddenly it’s ‘his brand’,” Amanda joked.

     “Hey laugh all you want, but this thing’s a magnet for the ladies.”

     Everyone burst out laughing and Ian mocked offense.

     “Well I for one think you look great,” you smiled at him and he beamed back at you.

     “Besides,” he continued, “I have to look good ‘cause my ex-girlfriend is going to be at the event this Friday. I bet she’s bringing that perfect boyfriend of her’s too who ‘has a real, important job’.”

     “Wait, the same girlfriend who broke up with you at the last event?” Damien asked.

     You hadn’t been at Smosh yet then, but you’d heard the story multiple times.

     “That’s the one. And now I get to show up a year later, still without a date.”

     “If only you had a girlfriend you could bring, but oh wait, that’s right—” Shayne teased.

     “That’s right,” Ian agreed

     “I’ll be your date,” you burst out.

     You didn’t know what made you say it. Maybe you sympathized with having embarrassing moments at classy gatherings. Maybe you just felt like helping your boss out. Or maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you may or may not have had a tiny crush on Ian when you first started working at Smosh. 

     But that was a long time ago…ok maybe months ago, and something you’d never admit aloud. You were just offering to help out a friend. Right?

     “Really? You’d do that for me?” Ian asked you.

     “Sure! No one has to know it’s our first date—or not-first-date. We can tell your ex we’ve been dating for months.”

    “That actually might work,” Ian grinned at you. 

    “Ooh, I can pick out matching outfits for you guys!” Courtney interjected.

     “No,” you both said in unison.

     “Well, I’ll pick you up on Friday at 8:00 for our not-first-date,” Ian looked at you, his eyes gleaming.

     “See you then,” you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

     “Actually you guys will see each other in like 45 minutes for TNTL,” Amanda said.

     “Right.” You said.

     After this Ian left the room and you turned back to your friends who were all looking at you as if they knew something you didn’t.

     You took in their scheming stares. “What?”

₊˚ ✧ ‿︵‿୨୧‿︵‿ ✧ ₊˚

     The rest of the week passed fairly quickly with no more talk of the event except for Ian asking your advice on what to wear—which everyone seemed to think so adorable for reasons you couldn’t understand or just refused to entertain. 

     And suddenly, just like that it was Friday and you were answering your door to a nervous-looking Ian holding out flowers to you.

     “Since it’s our ‘first date’,” he winked at you and you rolled your eyes at him, a smile blooming on your face, “I thought I’d bring you these.”

     “Thank you,” you said, “and you look great!”

     And he did. His maroon suit fit him perfectly and you couldn’t help but notice that it did end up matching the light pink dress with a crimson belt you chose.

     “And you look…wow.” He admired you and it took all of you not to blush at his words.

     He took you to his car, and insisted on opening your door for you since it was a ‘first date’. You looked over at Ian from the passenger seat and thought how you were surprised at how much of a gentleman he could be. Your goofy, laid-back boss definitely had a romantic side and would make some girl very happy someday, you thought.

    By the time you arrived at the event, you and Ian had barely said a word to each other. Which was odd, to say the least, seeing as you never really felt awkward around him or anybody at Smosh.

     “You ready for this?” Ian asked you as you stepped out of the car and headed toward the building the event was held at.

     You answered by taking his hand in yours and smiling up at him.

     You walked into the venue together and took in the layout. A makeshift stage had been set up for guest speakers at one end and as for the rest of it—cocktail tables scattered throughout the room, lights hanging from the ceiling and trailing down the walls and onto the refreshment tables lining the edges of the room, and hundreds of people, some who you recognized and others you didn’t, mingling and eating and—in the case of your friends—waving at you and Ian.

     You two walked over to them. Everyone took in your fingers intertwined.

     “Can’t keep your hands off her?” Angela teased Ian.

     “I uh—”

     You thought you sensed a faint blush on Ian’s cheeks as he tried to respond.

     You interrupted. “It’s a fake date, remember? Would you prefer we stood 8 feet apart at all times?”

     “So,” you turned to Ian, “where is this ex of yours?”

    “Yeah, now that you mention it, I haven’t seen her yet,” Damien said.

    “And anyone could spot her curly red bush—I mean hair—a mile away,” Shayne joked.

     “Maybe she’s not here yet,” Ian said, and then to you, “let’s go get some drinks.”

     He led you over to one of the refreshment tables, and as you were walking, you saw her.

     A tall, gorgeous woman in a tight green dress stood about 20 feet away from you. This had to be her, you thought, looking at her auburn curls done up in a twisted updo that made your simple bun look…well, simple. 

     You nudged Ian, “Found your ex.”

     He looked over at her, his brow furrowed, and then recovering quickly he looked back at you.

     “Yep, that’s her.”

     “Well, then let’s go introduce ourselves as a couple.”

     “No,” he said quickly, and then added “I mean, no not yet. We don’t want to seem too desperate.”

     You looked at him curiously but figured he was probably right. 

     You had a new idea.

     “Then let’s give her a little show.” 

     “(Y/n), what are you—” 

     You dragged him more into his ex-girlfriend’s line of vision. 

     “Ok, now kiss me.”

     “What?”

     “She’s looking, kiss me.”

      He looked at you like you might be crazy but he also had a look of determination on his face. Determined to impress his ex, you figured. He leaned in slowly and suddenly his mouth was on yours, kissing you quickly. It was awkward at first but as you pulled apart and looked to make sure the woman was still watching you—she was—you thought that it hadn’t been altogether bad.

     “That was, um, thank you for…that,” Ian said, breathless.

     “Sure,” you said, “anything for a good vengeance plot.”

     “Oh, be careful,” Ian said suddenly,

and you looked around, confused. “Old man two o’clock.”

     “Ha ha, very funny,” he elbowed him in the ribs remembering the horrors of last event, but you were grinning as you did so.

     “Hey, ouch!” He laughed, “We’re supposed to be in love remember?”

     And so that’s how you spent the rest of the night. Making sure she could see you when you touched Ian or pretended to laugh at a joke he made or leaned in close as if you were whispering something in his ear. 

     As the night went on it became easier and easier to pretend to be a couple. You hadn’t talked to Ian’s ex yet—he always had some reason for not going over to her. But you thought you’d done a good job of making her think you were dating. 

     And the truth was, you were enjoying yourself. You were having a great time, spending hours with Ian. 

     Like now, as you looked in Ian’s ex-girlfriend’s direction before saying to Ian, “So, since this is a date I guess I should do this.” You wrapped your arms around his neck. “And tell you how gorgeous your eyes are.” They really were, you thought as you stared into them.

     Ian leaned closer to you, planting a kiss on your jawline. “And since it’s a date I guess I should tell you how you shine brighter than all the lights in the room and how I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful.”

     “And I should pull you closer,” you added, grabbing his lapels.

     “And then maybe I would tell you how much I wanted your lips on mine. Again,” he said.

     He leaned farther towards you and your lips met his. He kissed you, really kissed you this time. He was gentle at first, but then his hands were in your hair as he kissed you harder and you leaned into it, kissing him back. 

     “For a fake date this sure seems pretty real.”

     You broke apart, looking up and finding Courtney standing in front of you smiling.

     Your voice came out more breathy than you would have liked. “We were just—Ian’s ex is right there and—”

     “She’s not even over here,” Courtney said looking between you too. “See?”

     You looked around you and realized she was gone. How long had she been gone? You let yourself imagine what it would be like if this was a real first date. Would that be so bad? Was it bad if it already felt real?

     Courtney left you guys with a cryptic smile before walking over to a table with drinks on it. 

     “So,” you started, “I—”

     “I’ll be right back,” Ian said, then quickly walked towards the door at the back of the venue.

     You stood there for a second. Was he avoiding you? Just leaving after you’d shared a moment like that? Was the kiss that bad?

      You walked back over to the table where all of your friends were standing and chatting. 

     “Hey! Where’s Ian going?” Courtney asked you

     “Bathroom?” You guessed.

     You scanned the room. There was Ian’s ex again. Now she shows up, you thought wryly.

     Courtney followed your gaze, “You know her?”

     You looked at her, “That’s Ian’s ex-girlfriend.”

    “No, it’s not,” she said.

    “What? Yes it is.”

     “Here,” Shayne pulled out his phone and a moment later showed you a picture of your boss with his arm around a short woman with red hair, “that’s Ian’s ex.”

     You were shocked. “But then who’s she?”

     “That’s a question for Ian,” Angela said, pointing towards him. You saw him walking towards you and you met him halfway.

     “Ian? Who’s the woman in the green dress?”

      He looked taken aback by the question, and putting his hands in his pockets, he said, “What do you mean?”

     “Well, apparently you never dated her.”

     “Um, about that” he started, hesitating, and then taking a deep breath he answered you. “I don’t know that woman. I’ve never seen her in my life.” He admitted this in a rush, looking for your reaction.

     “Why did you tell me she was your ex-girlfriend?”

     He looked down, almost bashful. “My ex isn’t at this event.”

     You took a step back, in shock, “Then why did you need me to be your fake date?”

     He looked at you intently, “I didn’t…need a fake date, I mean.”

     “But—”

     “I did, originally. But then I found out my ex wasn’t going to be able to make it because her and her boyfriend both have the flu.” He started to smile, then stopped himself, coughing, “Which is really too bad.”

     Another time you might have laughed, but now you stopped yourself, rolling your eyes at him.

     “So you lied to me?” You asked him, hurt.

     “I didn’t mean to—

     “But if you knew your ex wasn’t coming, then what’s this?” You gestured between the two of you. You were asking yourself just as much as him.

     “I may have—withheld the truth—because I,” he cleared his throat, “I may have wanted to go on a date with you.”

     “What?” Of all the answers you were expecting…

     “I think you’re great (Y/n), and I’ve wanted to ask you out for a while but I never quite knew how, and then you offered to be my date to this thing and it was going to be perfect—even if it was fake—and I couldn’t bring myself to tell you the truth. I’m sorry.” 

     “So yes, I lied to you. But I meant what I said though,” Ian said softly, “about you being beautiful and about wanting to kiss you.”

     You thought back through the night, taking all this in. All the fake moments that apparently weren’t so fake. For either of you, you realized. Because you had enjoyed being his pretend date, even if at some point you stopped pretending.

     “I just wish you would have asked me to be your real date. I would have said yes you know,” you told him.

     “Really?” He was definitely blushing now and you grinned up at him.

     “The night’s not over yet, we could still make this an official first date,” you said. 

     “(Y/n), will you go out with me?”

     “I’d love to Ian.”

     He began slow dancing with you even though this most definitely was not a slow dancing event. 

     “Ian!”

     As you looked into his eyes, though, and you saw the way he was looking at you—like he’d been waiting for this for a long time—you couldn’t ignore how perfect this moment was and you let him sway you.

     “Not bad for a first date, Hecox,” you joked.

     “Here’s to many more?”

     “Definitely.”

     He kissed you, your first officially real first kiss, and you couldn’t have been happier. 

     Cheering erupted and you looked over where all of your friends were standing, whistling and clapping at you. 

     “Still think it’s a fake date?” Courtney called to you.

     You looked at all the people around you, some of which had begun to stare at your display. You looked at Ian looking at you like you were the only girl in the world. You looked back at your friends, still waiting for your response.

     “I think nothing’s ever been more real.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~