Ibex Soup

Trying to parse whether this reblog is making:

An extremely inaccurate assumption about how widespread witch trials were in the early modern period

An extremely specific point about the prevalence of different execution methods (most accused witches in Britain were hanged, not burnt)

The first are those who hear “unbreakable” as a challenge - the magicians come in droves at first. They clamber over each other in their haste to prove that they are the exception to this curse in hopes of obtaining glory, gold, favour, or simply for the love of the game. These cannot be denied at the gates. They can, however, be vetted. The court magician spends his days now sitting behind a desk as he patiently explains that they have indeed already attempted the Grogsmarch restorative and the Knovict ritual, and yes even sitting in a circle and really really wishing, all to no avail. None leave the office with belief they can break the curse.

The second are those who simply wish to know how the curse came about - some for the love of knowledge, some for the love of gossip, some even who fear the unknown and dread the idea that such a thing could also happen to themselves. These don’t make it past the gates. The guards remind them that this is the palace and that such information is not for their ears. Most disperse after a day. Some, however, want to know if the curse is replicable so they may use such a thing on themselves or on someone else. The second of this kind are quickly identified and interrogated before being confined to the dungeon whilst their target is informed and they themselves await judgement. The former are instructed to a small parlour in the east wing overlooking the gardens where the princess sits with them and after they have resworn their allegiance to the the crown they are told the princess’s own story. Some leave with hope some leave without it, none leave with loose lips.

The final type are the most persistent. They wait day and night and clutter up the palace with their retinues and loud sighs. They sprawl artfully over furniture, they weep in the cloisters about their fates, and on more than one occasion they are found at the base of the princess’s windows yowling their songs like cats in heat. These are the suitors™️. The palace is unsure of what to do with these princes, dukes, and assorted other title-appropriate men who have invaded the rooms like a particularly aggressive mould. The King and Queen grow tired of their petitions of marriage, declarations of undying love, and general floppiness when the princess is mentioned.

The princess refuses them all.

She is perfectly happy with her current fiancée and sees no need to break such a longstanding engagement especially one that was set up by both their parents prior to their birth.

After all, Clarissa and her reached an understanding years ago and them both being women is not going to get in the way of a spouse that agreed to let her keep her pet frogs in the bedchamber (as she can no longer sleep without their ribbits) as long as she agrees that Clarissa gets priority over the blankets and to keep her oboe practice at dawn.

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This is the latest i'm posting a part... it's 9:25 as i'm starting to write this, and i'll probably finish by 10:00... No i did not sleep. I just wanted to get this part out ASAP, i hope you see why.

you can just see how putting Vox in his place heals Alastor's soul a little. Though, he understands that this may have complicated his plan, and keeping Vox oblivious to date being wrong...

little did he know, vox is actually into this shit....

yay first bonus joke i'm actually giving you! This is kinda soft canon of the comic, like, you can count this as canon, or not.

But in any case, Vox got reminded why he fell in love with Alastor in the first place... and what he broke...

PKAY, NEXT PART IS GONNA BE A BIG ONE. CURRENTLY IT SITS AT 9 PAGES, BUT I'M NOT SURE IF I CAN KEEP IT THIS SIZE (i MEAN THAT IT WON'T GROW). SO, IT MAY TAKE LONGER THAN USUALLY, compansating that by posting this one earlier

We're almost there guys! just 4 parts left...

p.s. i did NOT know "broski" was a real word LMAO, but i guess, peak hazbin naming on accident

AU Masterpost

If you read from a reblog, check the original post/masterpost, there may be a link to a new part. Or may not.

Tag list under cut, if you want to be added/removed from the list, lmk in the comments! For tag to work you need to allow people tag you in your settings.

^“At the bottom of the image is the segment of the flag cut for the St. Patrick’s Cathedral protest. Photograph by Mick Hicks”

location: moss oasis, endless barren waste