Hospital Playlist

bonus:

Hello!!! I disappeared a bit after Ep 4 bc I’ve been busy and I thought there weren’t much for me to talk about so I didn’t make time to write this post. But since I cannot stop thinking about Ep 7, here is my usual casual ramblings about the IkSong moments we got from Ep 7!

It won’t be too long, just my usual nonsensical takes on Songhwa’s POV as we once again were given only implied crumbs, rather than express (I really do hope we will get a proper conversation between them soon).

TL;DR: A potential glimpse of Songhwa’s past and Ikjun’s realisation that maybe this isn’t enough for him?

Ikjun the inssa and Songhwa who is forever amused and clearly looks at him in an endearing manner. All of these smiles were directed to Ikjun and probably happened in a span of 10-15 minutes on their way to the cafeteria? Anyway, I will always love any scenes where Songhwa smiles/laughs because of Ikjun’s antics. She truly does have him in a special place in her heart (romantic or not).

It seems that after lunch in the cafeteria, Songhwa continues to spend the remaining free time she has with Ikjun. She even brings him coffee and watches Uju dancing in the video Wang imo sent him.

Ikjun realises at once that Songhwa is cold, and without hesitation, hands his jacket to him. She accepts it gratuitously and wears it again without hesitation. Hmm~~

Will I ever shut up about how much Ikjun makes Songhwa laugh? Never. The answer is never.

During camping, we see IkSong continuing their usual rapport of ease and comfort. Notice how they talked from when the sun is still above their head until night time has befallen them and they drank from one can of beer to a few cans and it’s 1AM all of a sudden? They’re mighty comfortable with each other. They share conversations that range from anything to everything.

And nothing. At the end of this entire camping sequence, Songhwa bids goodnight to Ikjun and retreats into her tent, and Ikjun stares at her forlornly with a look we can only decipher as underlying sadness. Ouch. This is when I realised that he is still pining over her. That one year and three months where he has loved her unconditionally may not be the only thing he wants for the rest of his life. 

And that hurts. As a viewer, to see Ikjun react this way. The smile he has on his face as he looks after her retreating back is one filled with so much ache that I really hope that after this, he distances himself from Songhwa a bit, or at least let her know that whatever it is between them - it isn’t enough for him. Communication, please, both of you. 

I don’t know what ShinLee plans to do for IkSong - there are so many things left unsaid and this could have been the perfect moment to address feelings, but they didn’t seize this opportunity. I have a strong instinct that it’s because Songhwa is still afraid, for some reason, to open up her heart again. I say this because:-

Songhwa still remembers that Ikjun used to always play that one particular song in his guitar. Based on Martha’s (chocoscrunchies @ twitter) tweet, the meaning of that song is this:-

… :’))) maybe i’m not crying.

My interpretation of this scene is that because things are so comfortable between them, Songhwa let her guard falter - that careful wall she has built around her youth and first love. Of course she would remember something as trivial as that right, because it is her first love who had played the song throughout the year. And when Ikjun pointed that “you have a good memory”, she realised that she’d slipped and decided to once again seize control of the situation by retreating. That was why she quickly declined to hear the song that would probably stir some dormant memories in her heart that she’d carefully sealed away. She gave a feeble excuse that it’s bad manners to play music on a campground.

And then she said goodnight. 

But did she really sleep that night?

At this point, I’m a little tired that all we’ve gotten so far are implications. I’d be honest and say that I’m tired of guessing. We can harp all we want about Songhwa’s POV being all the smiles and laughter she had given Ikjun, but that’s just it, you know? They may well be platonic gestures at the end of the day so I want something concrete and express from Songhwa. 

I still believe they will be endgame though, but before that happens I really need them to desperately talk feelings to each other.

Songhwa needs to tell Ikjun the reason for her hesitation and what he used to mean to her. What he still means to her.

And Ikjun needs to tell her that this rapport between them is hurting him because it seems he does want something more.

I say this as the biggest IkSong stockholder, who loves Songhwa and Ikjun individually with all her heart; I just want both of them to be happy, and at the rate we are going it would seem that Ikjun is merely hiding his sadness behind all the smiles he would give her. And I just don’t think it’s fair for him to keep doing that. 

Songhwa on the other hand is clearly getting too comfortable with their currently label-less relationship. There needs to be something that triggers her into realising she wants something more with Ikjun because there is no way they’re going to remain like this forever, not when one party is already hurting silently.

Rain and you