the goat

i dont got nothin

anyone know if Punxsutawney Phil does debates?

catch me tomorrow night LIVE at the SUPER BOWL! 6:30 PM EST! i didn't bring a parachute. please catch me. you are my only hope

big things coming for me in 2025! and you! i have visions of all the things that will happen in the world. but only the good things. okay so not everything just the good things. i dont know the bad things and am neglecting to warn you. okay i lied entirely. Happy New Year!

shared joy is a double joy shared sorrow is half a sorrow costco hotdog is $1.50

people keep asking me, "goopier or oozier??" i raise a different question.

sludge surfin' sunday y'all

just won my first (and last) chess tournament. a bunch of poindexters and charlatans who couldn't handle the heat of my "warlock's gambit." i believe this makes me "The Magnus of Carlsen" i think?

i dont hold grudes i only hold sludges gross. dont do it

whoever told me to "spice" up my "vocabulary" by saying "well well well.. look who it is" instead of "hi"... they got me doing 5-10 years on account of tax evasion. thanks for that. its all your fault.

cant watch shark tank. they JUST turned down someone for even suggesting "coward the couragely cat." really demotivating stuff

TURN THAT DAMN THING BACK ON ALREADY!!!