Date Night at the Area 51 Del Taco

they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen

MOST of my problems could be solved by carly rae jepsen cut to the feeling. the rest will have to be solved by carly rae jepsen run away with me.

my beautiful bestfriend called ibuprofen

Happy pride lgbts who’s ready for the same discourse we’ve been litigating for 10+ years to hit the internet?

I love the Pitt because it’s the closest a good tv show can come to looking directly into the camera and saying “we are woke, these are the moral lessons you should learn from these characters”

I like when Dr. Robby turns to the camera and says he’s the same type of progressive I am.

the problem with musicians is how they're always touring their latest album instead of like their critically hated second album from 2009 which is the one i'm obsessed with

rip to athenian sacrificial virgins but i’m different

i would be found by the minotaur in the labyrinth and i would remain still and not show fear nor aggression and allow him to approach me and i’d slowly reach out my hand for him to sniff and perhaps even lick and he’d ponder the hand for a moment and the let out a big soft snort and id pet his nose and then his head and he’d lean in closer and id massage behind his ears and he’d close his eyes and we’d sit against the dark cold damp labyrinth wall with his head in my lap as he revels in the first friendly touch he’s known since his mother last dared to touch him so many years ago and after some time he’d reach out and start to tentatively rub my leg in an attempt at reciprocity, his hand clumsy and unpracticed at the act of gentle touch, and id lower my head and press a light kiss on his temple, and there in the prison crafted expertly to contain him, only him, only ever him for the rest of his life, the minotaur would feel warmth enough to remind him that though he may be a beast, he is no less worthy of love than the rest of us

oh yeah. and then we’d fuck nasty

fujoshis are a protected class under california state law

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children

When maids and concubines do murders in historical dramas I don’t think that’s a crime. They should be allowed to do that