I really do think so! Shoot, in this life, Iโm betting on Ian, no shame and no regret, for the rest of my days - you should join me, itโs fun over here! And maybe one day thereโll be less worry and itโll all be lighter on your head, I hope you get that very much. And aww, thanks! I wouldnโt ever wanna compete against Kirby in a light-off, sheโs shiny like the sun, so Iโll try not to think of it as a competition. Sides, weโre better as a team, she and I, just like you and I are. Like the whole of us are, really. Having a group of friends is a real strength, let me tell you.
Or a Latin class, maybe. The words weโre saying mean something, I reckon, and if we know what, it might be easier to sayย โem. I donโt ever wanna lose my drawl too much, you feel me? Sometimes itโs the only thing connecting me to my pa who isnโt a nice man but was still mine.
Well now, you donโt have to be embarrassed or ashamed about being you! All parts of you are Ian and I like Ian a lot so if youโre shaming my friend, boo on you. I donโt know much about OCD, to tell you the truth, cept that I think I saw it makes someone turn on the lights and turn them off like five times afore they exit a room. That doesnโt seem too bad! And we have wands, you could just do that with magic, couldnโt you?
Youโre betting on me? Are you sure? That feels like a fast way to lose a lot of money, and that doesnโt sound fun at all. I canโt give you any promises, is what I mean-- would you still root for me? Yeah, weโre a team. Itโll be us against the world one day, when we graduate.ย Hey, youโre right! Why didnโt I think of that? A Latin class-- thatโs exactly what we need, sometimes thereโs power in words when you understand what they mean too. I feel you, there are just some things that connect us to our roots we canโt ever imagine letting go of.ย
Thank you for standing up for me against me, itโs appreciated. I suppose sometimes I need defending against myself. Why is it that sometimes weโre the people that tear ourselves down the most rather than opposing outside forces? I donโt need to turn lights on and off again, I can visually trust myself with that. When I was a kid though, I did that for maybe a few months. It changes sometimes, it just really depends what Iโm anxious about I guess.ย
Iโm not embarrassed to be myself, what Iโm embarrassed of is uh, iโm trying to think of a good example... like, I donโt wash my hands for hours on end like I read in a book once, but I do wash them a certain specific way and sometimes twice, and if I donโt then I feel like 1) theyโre not clean and 2) thereโs still soap all over them. Is it logically sound? Absolutely not, but making myself do it is a lot easier than not doing it then spending the next 2 hours anxious that I canโt safely touch anything cause my hands are filthy and germ-infested. What if I get someone sick? And they die? Does that make me a murderer even unintentionally? Technically no, but what if evidence traces back to me?ย
The answers are: itโs not probable to get someone sick unless Iโm already showing signs of illness-- washing my hands once is already very sanitary. Even if I did get someone sick, the very worst would be a bug or virus. In the extreme event that a life threatening disease is released, chances that I was patient zero are next to none. Plus, even if it was traced back to me, no oneโs really ever been arrested or charged for being a patient zero. I understand that, yet I still wash my hands a specific way and sometimes twice, three times, maybe four. Because Iโd still rather give in and do that then risk it despite knowing itโll never happen. Iโm... ashamed of that, that I canโt exert more self-control over it.ย ย
