“I break my own heart by expecting people to be as attached to me as I am to them.”

I tried to kill the pain

I have so much to talk about and I need to let out my sadness and happiness but there is just no one who listens. No one who really cares. No one I can go to. It‘s a horrible feeling and really depressing. How does it feel to have someone on their side? To have someone who thinks about you? I forgot. I don‘t know anymore.

“So plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”

And I will learn to love myself even on days when I feel unattractive and unworthy of love. I will unlearn the idea that my physical appearance determines my worth, and that I need to look a certain way in order to be loved. I will stop putting conditions on the love I have for myself.

I promise you my pain wasn’t poetic.It was days without sleep and pretending I was stable enough to continue.

I like cancelled plans. And empty bookstores. I like rainy days and thunderstorms. And quiet coffee shops. I like messy beds and over-worn pajamas. Most of all, I like the small joys that a simple life brings.

All I can ever ask of you is to please never settle for me. If I’m not what you’re looking for, if I’m not good enough for you, then don’t stay.