Virginia: The Emergency That Never Was
Friends, fellow Fistian’s, Razör Americans, I’ve been informed recently that while my videos are in fact informative and verbose even when extemporaneous, as these rants often are, that the only thing wrong with them is the naughty words. So, for the purposes of today’s rant I shall endeavor in an effort to reach as many mother…s and fathers as humanly possible to excise any and all obscenity from the fu… n times were about to have.
In case you ain’t heard, Apocalypse Virginia is upon us. As we were all informed ahead of the Richmond demonstration to protest, the incoming gun control g… oals of the Democratic Party, and while a Mad Maxian hellscape of wasteland murder Nazis and schoolyard shootouts was predicted by many in media–not to mention the pr… ince fan Ralph Northam–the actual event was completely peaceful, folks. With just one arrest on the day due to some lady wearing a hankie on her face refusing to take it off and not being Muslim, evidently. With the New York Times reporting around 22,000 attendees–a figure that eyeballing it from the available footage and aerial shots seems to be underselling it a fair bit, but whatever–largely comprised of open-carrying lawful gun owners of any and all persuasions exercising their rights in a show of defiance to democratic overreach.
Why even the manchild of the hour weighed in with a piping hot bowl of b… russels sprouts. Courtesy of the Virginia Governor’s Twitter account: “We are all thankful that today passed without incident. The teams successfully de-escalated what could have been a volatile situation.” Well, guys, I guess we could all relax. The cat who does Li'l Abner cosplay in his spare time is monitoring the volatile situation… that he engineered. But my favorite bit is when he caps off the chicanery with a hearty “I will continue to listen to the voices of Virginians.” Northam? The man elected by a glorified suburb of Washington DC says he’s got a heart monitor strapped to the sack of the average Virginian. Yeah? Well here’s your EKG. Sounds like they’ve spoken, you sh… ifty looking fella.
Listen to the voices of Virginians, folks. Why start now? Republicans, independents, and yes, people in your own party warned against getting ahead of yourself pushing an unconstitutional curtailment at the Second Amendment. And what do you do five seconds after getting the governor’s mansion keys? Aware you’re all but unelected and popular as penis cancer, you move like greased lightning pushing and signing several Bill of Rights-obliterating laws – many of which the public is all but unaware of, but oh we’ll get to them in a white-hot minute.
And are we just going to skate past the fact that this slack-jawed Jim Crow-reviving jack…anape declared a state of emergency under what we now know today flagrantly false pretenses, effectively tripling the risk of urban violence thereby? One that thankfully failed to materialize. Don’t lie, you leering sh…yster. You can cry about the pursuit of peace all you like, we all know you were hosting voodoo death rituals at the governor’s mansion imploring all gods above and below to kick off a cannonade of civilian gunfire so you could name the resulting gun control bill after the first victim.
If Trump having an avuncular cellular phone call is an impeachable offense, what in nebulous nut-hammocks would that be exactly? And if he’s arguing it was actually an emergency, than wait – the Occupy Charlottesville event, which famously ended in multiple arrests and allegations of property damage and trespassing despite boasting a fraction of a fraction of this event’s attendance figures, can illegally enter government buildings during working hours with impunity, all’s copacetic; but a bunch of men and women, of all ethnicities and backgrounds, packed the streets at sidewalks of Virginia in an open and very constitutional display of kinship, and yes force, and suddenly sending in the National Guard is on the table over imagined threats of Nazism and white supremacy? An allegation that fails to withstand a single viewing of a photo from the rally, by the by. Showing everything from Latinos to Asians and otherwise marching in defense of their firearms rights, the Black Panthers showed for f… riendship’s sake! And I don’t know about you, but I don’t recall the Nazis ever running on a platform of permissive gun rights. Apparently I was out of school with the sniffles that week in history.
Which brings me to the path forward. Alright, you dressed up, armed up, and treated a few fascists to the finger. Now what? The left march their legs off their bodies every time Soros suffers a hangnail. Ain’t no never mind to the rest of human civilization, and it changes precisely d… decrement amounts of nothing (that’s a close one). Make no mistake: this was an emphatic statement. In one afternoon, the patriots of Virginia all but abrogated the asinine assertion that the right are incapable of well-organized, sufficiently funded public protests in defense of our freedom. It’s an emboldening, deeply encouraging development. But sadly, that’s also all it is without adequate expeditious follow-up. Fortunately, it also presents achievable possibilities merely by happening without a hitch.
Despite a deliberately convoluted nine-step process to remove a governor from office, in the inversion of electoral oversight that is Virginia in 2020, if all of the estimated 22,000 and attendance voted by way of petition along with the additional 100,000 who planned to attend but elected not to after the obvious scare tactics of Northam’s imaginary emergency declaration, you’d be halfway to the necessary signatures to send this back to the blackface dance recital circuit. As the state of Virginia requires a mind-boggling 450,000 signatories to even begin the recall process, or roughly 1/8 the population of the state in question. But one look at that map and it’s clear just a couple counties could account for that total in an evening. I’ll even link you to one of the more prominent recall petitions. As I’m well aware, there are many Virginian recruits to the Razör Force.
Point being, this cannot be some schismatic one-off like every other angsty, ineffectual effort from the left in the last 10 to 20 years. The right haven’t been classically inclined towards dramatic marches, catchy chants, or protest movements. What we have had is follow-through. And you’re going to need it. Because SB 16 is a bonafide cakewalk next to some of the other steaming piles of sh… aring and caring coming down the pike for the preemies in Richmond. As I said in my previous Virginia video, it’s all in elaborate game of watch the birdie. Because while we’re all justifiably upset of the overt attempt to rollback the freedoms enshrined in the Bill of Rights, they’re creeping around back and parking their private parts in our d… oggy doors. Take an SJ 16, for example, an attempt to increase each gubernatorial term limit from four years to eight. How would you like to stare at that walking sentient chin deficit for sixteen years instead of eight? Or SB 65,which removes the voter photo ID requirement for voting? Or even more pernicious attempts to achieve permanent mono parties like SB 399, which awards all electoral votes to the winner of the national presidential popular vote. And SJ 29, which similarly allows the governor to be elected by majority vote in the districts rather than by a statewide majority. And last but not leach: SJ 14 and 8, which restore voting rights to felons, the mentally handicapped, and Anthony Weiner–but I repeat myself.
So, as great as this was, and as excellent as it is to get multiple generations of midwest and coastal patriots engaged in the assault on our freedoms, my message is simple: saddle up, mobilize, channel that fresh rush of newly minted American energy, follow through, and shock the Sh… ell gas station out of them!
I’m Razörfist. God f… speed.
gracieabrams
baratheonpilled
prguitarman
pixelskylines
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
tangentwithtanner
discoholicmusic
