. ⊹ . ݁˖ keplers thought journal. ݁₊ ⊹ .

I’ve been dealing with a consistent emotional issue for years now, recently bettered by medication. However, even though i’m much more laid back than i used to be, i still have a really hard time dealing with disappointment.

Something tonight happened that made me very disappointed. I became frustrated and impatient at a variable beyond my control. I found myself laying in my bed with the lights off, sulking in silence and replaying the scenarios over and over in my head. I think i do this in hopes of finding something to validate my feelings. i dig into my mind, seeking for some bad memory or grudge to amplify and validate my current state of frustration or disappointment.

gender has always been a paculiar thing 2 me but revently moreso than usual

for my whole life i didnt really strongly associate with any specific gender role, plus obviusly when i was young i didnt really know anytbjng outside the sex i was assigned at birth. there was a moment in my life in middle school where i started wanting to explore my identity more, changing my hair and clothing, etc. but life happens and nothing really changed?? anyways

right now i feel like my gender is nonexistant in a way? i sort wish i didnt have to be called anything at all i wanna just exist as a human and nothing more. if it werent for my concern about how others perceive me (to an extent) then i would probably dress more gender neutal, sumtimes i do and it feels good. i suppose i dont really like labels

1. get high

2. eat cereal

3. make off putting music

ever since I was on the internet at like… 6 years old, ive always wanted to make my presense known in some way. since then ive pretty much made all types of content— art, edits, animations, music, fashion, blogs, the list goes ON! one thing im still learning is how to code my own website which seems to be sort of a stuggle for me

I think the internet now, its ruined tho. its been ruined for a long time but things began to go downhill when corperqtions began to monitize everything and try to profit off of every corner of the internet. lots of cool and weird websites and forums are lost to time because of this degradation of the net and it sucks!!:( also short form content pretty much ruined the communication aspect of the interney, im a VICTIM of it. im a complete addict to short form content but i really am trying to get out of it. it sucks, everyrhing is boring now anyways and my brain is DISINTEGRATING!!

I wish we had as much active forums, chatrooms, and websites as the internet used to. if course there are still things like that, but they arent mainstream which makes the communities inherentlysmaller. anyways yeah long story short i really wish the internet could go back what it used to be. i also think having your oresense on the internet is a sort if time capsule for your entire existance and is both creepy and cool(nothing really matters)

heello my name is kepler (i wish that was my real name BUT unfortunatley its not) and i am super mysterious and kewl(JOKE)

I really wanted to make a website to host a sort of blog on, but i SUCk at coding so im here instead!! I like music and art and peculiar things and rpg video games and mythology and a bunch of other stuff

I also really like talking to people so feel free to AMA!!! i have alot of thoughts all the time and they will be dumped here. its mostly for myself to look back on but if u happen to stumble across this then lovelyy bai