(Hawaii Five-0 2010, Steve/Danny, Mature, Post-finale, eventual fix-it, eventual getting together, heavy angst, depression, suicidal ideation, mental health issues, PTSD)
What is he going to say? I can’t fight, so I can’t be among people. I can’t be with Danny because then he’d know. They’ll never stop coming, but he can stop fighting. He can stay away so no one else gets hurt.
Fic is up! Please mind warnings. More info below!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Visuals
The story takes place at Joe's cabin, Montana. According to my research, the cabin shown in 9x10 is much more likely to be located in Hawai'i than anywhere else. Apparently, the roof would need to be a lot steeper to clear snow if it were in a state with a lot of snowfall. So we will pretend the roof is steeper but the layout is the same:
The first floor plan is the original cabin, drawn to the best of my ability from endlessly rewatching 9x10 and 9x11. The majority of the assault in 9x10 comes from the east side of the cabin with the RPG blowing up the south window of the living room. The second floor plan is after Steve's renovations in the story.
Thimble, Montana, is entirely fictional but based entirely on Victor, Montana. The location I chose for Steve's cabin (completely randomly and fictionally) is this:
It faces the Biterroot Valley and is at approximately 6000ft altitude, which makes the weather in the story plausible.
Asshole, the deer--Algeria found his picture!!! He's posing in front of Steve's fence 🤣
Steve's plants (pictures from the internet--many thanks to AlgeriaTouchshriek for most of these):
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Even though it's late qq BUt I hope you all like it, I honestly don't like it as much. In the middle of drawing it I simply forgot how to draw ... sorry no extra for this one qq
The scarf was so warm they ended in the hospital due to heatstroke XD
Anyway, as it has been for almost a decade (I think, I haven't really kept count) the first drawing of this year it's McDanno :3
These two have accompanied me for most of my artistic journey, and this year is no different, although I don't draw them as often anymore and my hyper-fixation is focused on something else I know they will always be there when inspiration strikes :)
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regularly thinking about Danny disliking Steve at first bc he thinks Steve sees himself as invincible and better than everyone, until he realizes that Steve just doesn't have any regards for his own life and is afraid of losing people...
Steve also would always choose to die with someone (Danny) instead of losing them and continue living.
He does this in s3 e6 when Danny is threatened by the bomb and in s5 e18 when he tries to get arrested with Danny bc he knows he'll get killed there.
And I think my fav example of Steve's behavior is s8 e9 and e10, bc in e9 they're all infected by the virus, including him and he is totally calm and accepting his fate. While in e9 when Danny gets shot he is the most stressed and freaked out I have ever seen him.
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It's so significant how Steve's first reaction after they secured the winter ball is screaming for Grace to make sure she is okay, especially when right after it showing the father the kid that the terrorist were after screaming for kid at the exactly same way 😭 she is Steve's kid too