sypnosis ; your boyfriend comforts you while you struggle with body image
warnings : sfw, insecurities, angst + fluff, body image issues, birthd control mentions, keeho likes size difference, reader is a dick to theo and theo is a slight dick to reader in return, intak micro cheats if thats even a thing, intaks part is half assed(i was half asleep), suggestive, progressively gets lazier
weight gain (theo), thin lips (keeho), acne (jiung), loving him(intak), teeth shape (soul), flat chest (jongseob)
creds for taki idea: @jiuchip
#taglist - @seonghwaswifeuuuu, @choxochip, @jiungs-wednesdaygirl , @xxxykvv, @louis4sho, @alienslostinworld, @jiungbbl, @faireiswife, @halaziasupremacy, @imthepeanutsauce, @bith-shnez, @nota10butadefinite8, @jiungs-lil-rat, @edininwinter
a/n : requests always open unless said otherwise, comment to be added to taglist, please remember you are loved and beautiful!
you just wanted your vacation to be perfect. theo rented a nice resort, the view was beautiful and everything was great. or thats how you made it look.
recently you had been more afraid of gaining weight than ever. after your last doctors visit they told you that you gained a few pounds, you felt disgusting.
you werent huge but you felt like it. so when theo came to you and told you that he got a reservation for a fancy restaurant that didnt serve the healthiest food you werent exactly… ecstatic. but you could never say no to him. i mean, how could you? he was practically through the roof. he had been waiting to get you two in for the past week.
you didnt want to ruin this for him. so you obliged. when you arrived at the restaurant the food looked great. unhealthy, but great.
theo pulled a chair out for you eagerly and you sat down as the servers brought you two your menus.
“wow.. look at all the nice food.. oh look at the seafood boil!”
you smiled and looked at the example picture on the menu. it looked wonderful. but the second you thought of the calories you looked away.
“what are you gonna get my love?” theo asked. he set his menu down and reached for his water.
you hesitated to answer. you didnt know yet but it would probably be the chicken salad they had that was only 800 cals.
“i think… the chicken salad.” you answered, setting your menu on top if his.
his smile faded quickly at your words. he wasnt expecting you to say something extremely unhealthy but he was confused on why you would choose a salad. not to mention it was also the cheapest thing on the menu.
“love.. you dont have to get that. enjoy yourself. its my treat.”
his warm hand rested on yours, rubbing your thumb. maybe if you didnt gain a few pounds you would get share a seafood boil with him but sadly that wasnt your reality.
“is this about the doctors office? babe.. gaining weight is fi-”
“no! what?! god no why would you think that!” you snapped at him. you never snap at him, especially in public. the air got thick with tension and theo went silent before giving you a hurtful look.
“fine. get the stupid salad.” he pulled his hand away from yours. what was supposed to be him giving you space didnt sit well with you.
“why did you do that?” your voice was full of hurt. you started it and you knew that but you were already in a bad mood.
“im giving you space. i try to do something nice for you and you act like a brat.”
your guys’ conversation was interrupted by the server asking for your order thankfully. you didnt like to see your boyfriend look so hurt, it stung even more knowing he was hurt because of you.
after waiting about an hour, your food came out. theos looked wonderful while yours looked.. well, mediocre to say the least. not only did his look wonderful it smelled amazing. a part of you almost wanted to ask for some.
theo began to eat the crab legs almost entirely ignoring your presence. the weight on your shoulders felt heavier by the second as you barely took bites out of your salad. and finally you broke.
“im sorry theo.” you stared down at the green of the salad, swallowing the lump in your throat. “i dont know why ive been like this. i dont want to gain weight. i dont want to look like a hog around you.”
his eyes softened at your words. kindly taking into consideration what it meant to you and how he shouldnt have pried at why you wanted a salad.
“its okay love, i just want you to eat. that salad is barely enough to fill a cat. theres other ways to be healthy without just eating salads. enjoy yourself.”
he wasnt wrong, for how much they charge, and how small the portion was didnt make any sense. “i know.”
theo picked up one of the crab legs from his boil, and slid it into your bowl. “try it.” he pointed at the crab leg. “its good, and i wont be able to finish this by myself.”
instead of being scared of eating it, you picked it up and broke into it. it was truly delicious, it was like no other crab legs you had eaten. “tasty?”
“yes.” you said in a tiny voice. “good. i love you, no matter what you know that?”
you nodded and reached for another crab leg. “yeah, i love you too theo.”
the rest of the night went by in a blur. eating shrimp and crab legs, drinking wine, and conversing. the night didnt end bad at all and you werent afraid to eat again.
“thank you theo.” you kissed his cheek softly, a little red stain from your lipstick smeared where you planted it.
theos arm stretched across your shoulder, walking both of you back to the resort. and well, the night went by a bit slower after that.
having a boyfriend whose lips were quite plump while yours weren’t wasn’t for the weak.
it never truly affected you until recently when you would start to see tiktoks saying that thin lips are disgusting, or other tiktoks that would claim that people with thin lips cant kiss.
it took a true toll on you. you have had insecurities in the past but never over your lips. it almost felt stupid or invalid to be embarrassed over them.
anytime someone would say anything about them in the past, it was to say you look like a doll. but now, it was like there was nothing good to say about them.
so naturally, you started to pout to make your lips appear bigger than they actually are. a tip you got off tiktok and from continuous of your friends’ lip sync videos.
you didnt think anyone would notice since the slight puff looked natural on you - like it was the perfect lip size for you. until one day you were at lunch with keeho and he mentioned it.
“why do you keep doing that weird thing with your lips?”
you froze. you didnt know how to respond. its not like you could say “because my natural lips feel gross on my body”
“what do you mean?” your smile faded over the expensive cesaer salad from some bougie restaurant keeho took you to as a treat. the sudden confrontation made you shiver.
you could feel yourself losing your appetite. keeho chuckled and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “babe, i know your lips arent that puffy. you look like you got stung by a bee.”
oh. you didn’t think it was that obvious. i mean, sure hes your boyfriend hes more likely to notice stuff since your around him constantly, but still you didnt think he would pay much attention to your lips.
a cold hand snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked up to a confused keeho. “are you gonna answer my question? you look like your about to yak everywhere.”
“sorry, yeah. its just a bad habit.” you murmured. you didnt want to say the truth. you were too scared and embarrassed considering how stupid it was to you.
keeho went back to picking at his half cooked chicken and left you to go back to eating your salad. not pushing anymore on what the whole thing was about. even though he thought the conversation was over the air left behind was thick with tension.
“okay. its because i hate my lips.”
keehos expression changed from worry to confusion. “why they are literally just lips.” he rolled his eyes. of course he wouldnt understand. you should’ve just shut your mouth.
“cus’ they are soo small. they feel so gross and it makes my face look so awkward keeho.” you hid your face in your hands.
“no they arent. and they arent for anyone else anyway so who cares.”
you nodded slowly. “okay.”
“and its unique. if everyone had the same features we would look like copy pastes.”
you nodded again, but no words came out. you thought the conversation was over but keeho still had a few words he wanted to share.
“annnd i like how small they feel against mine. but not in the bad way in the good way. you know i like that your smaller than me.”
you pursed your lips to contain your laughter. there was no way he was talking about how much he enjoys size difference in public. “okay keeho i get it!” you giggled. he really had a way with words like no other guy.
he smiled back at you. “just remember, your unique features are what makes you beautiful.”
you knew your boyfriend loved you. he bought you nice gifts, spent quality time with you, gave you sweet cards portraying his love for you, and so much more. he truly was the sweetest.
his favourite thing though had to be taking you shopping. he enjoyed seeing your face light up with happiness seeing something cute that you wanted. and of course, his wallet would immediately be open just for you to pay for whatever you want.
it was another saturday with him when you two decided to stop inside a small store near your house that just opened.
the store was mainly filled with dresses, but also had some cute trinkets. as you walked down a long isle, a beautiful red summer dress caught your eye and you picked it up eagerly.
it was shimmery, and it felt nice in your hands. not to mention it was also your size! you wanted it. you inspected the dress further to see it was backless. great.
recently you had been taking birth control. it helped a little for some other stuff but also didnt help much at all. your back recently started breaking out horribly. jiung already knew since you told him, but you hadnt let him see you naked or even in a tank top since.
you had to let go of the dress. even though it was gorgeous, there was no estimated time that your acne would clear. and who knows what your body would look like when it does happen.
you placed the dress back on the hanger with longing regret. if only you werent so insecure. you strolled down the isle again and caught up with jiung. he was holding something in his hands.
“look what i got! i think this would look beautiful on you! what do you think?”
he held a red dress up to your frame. the same one you had picked up and sadly put back. jiung smiled at the thought of you in it and glanced back from you to the dress. “its kind of cheap too. i think its a great idea, you can wear it to visit my parents next week.”
to his parents? that was a no. you barely felt comfortable to have jiung see your back, so why would you have his parents? would they think your unhygienic and dont wash yourself. the thought echoed in the back of your mind and you shook your head at jiung.
“sorry ji, i would but… you know my back?” you whispered as quietly as you could.
jiung gave you a blank stare in response. he obviously couldn’t understand why that would matter. “babe, no one is gonna be paying attention.”
his attempts at reassuring you didnt work too well. you still didnt want the dress. “can we PLEASE just find me a different one? i dont want it.”
his face softened with sadness. jiung never enjoyed seeing you upset. he couldn’t say no but he didn’t want to back down so easily.
“listen. if anyone is paying attention to your back they obviously dont have better things to do. i think your beautiful. you dont need to worry what other people think. will you atleast just try it on? for me?”
“fine.” you snatched the red dress from him with a sigh. as you headed towards the changing room with the dress the only things that could fill your head is how awkward you would look in it.
you entered the changing room and slowly slipped out of your hoodie and jean skirt, pulling the backless red dress up your body with ease.
it fit you perfectly, and it looked beautiful. you couldn’t lie, you were checking yoursef out in the mirror. until you turned, getting a view of your back.
instead of immediately taking it off you sighed. might as well get it over with and show jiung. you called out to him that he could step inside the dressing room. the door creaked open and jiungs head popped in.
rolling your eyes, you grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him inside. the door slammed shut behind him.
“okay heres me in the dress happy now?”
jiung gave you smile. one of those huge dorky ones that you loved from him so much. must be a good sign.
“wow. please dont take it off.” he giggled. he reached out his hands and placed them on your hips to pull you into a kiss. “your gorgeous. and the acne looks good on you.”
jiung pulled back to get a good look at you. he was still smiling to himself like a kid who just won a prize. “lets go check out.”
you nodded. maybe, the acne wasnt as bad as you thought if it had jiung smiling like a school boy with a crush. if anything happens later, you should thank the acne.
your boyfriend being an idol was never a problem until recenter times. you knew that girls would be lining up to date him in a second if they could. and with him on tour it really had you worrying.
the tiktoks of him at sendoff didnt help much either. you trusted him, and had discussed in the past that him harmlessly flirting with fans was okay. but some videos felt more suggestive than others, like his pick up lines or “pretty girls’” felt real.
if your insecurities couldnt get any worse, you saw a clip of him practically rubbing on a very conventionally attractive girl. obviously, you didnt appreciate it much.
so when he came back to korea for a quick break from touring, you avoided him but tried not to make it obvious.
“hey babe, i missed you.” intak pulled his luggage into his dorm room and pulled you in for a hug.
you drifted away from him, crossing your arms. “hey.”
intak raised an eyebrow, confused of your awkward behaviour but brushed it off with you being tired. “are you tired? what did you do all day?”
you were too annoyed and tired to answer him. all you wanted was space from him. you answered with a quick nothing and sat down on the couch.
intak being intak couldnt pick up that you didnt feel like talking at the moment. so of course, he kept talking. “oh okay,, well send off is so fun! some of those fans are so fun-”
“why dont you go kiss them or something if their so funny!” you knew it was a stupid thing to say, but after all those tiktoks and clips you couldn’t contain it. even though it did make you cringe a little.
“ohh..kay? why are you being like this?” intak attempted to touch your shoulder, but you moved away from his touch for the second time.
“leave me alone intak. obviously you dont love me as much as you claim to considering your calling those girls pretty all the time and just.. fucking them with your words.”
intaks eyes widened like he couldn’t believe what you just said. he also looked like he wanted to laugh from your choice of words.
“what does that even mean?! you know i love you dont pull that, and you literally said its fine if i do fanservice.” intak tried to defend himself but you wouldnt budge.
thats when you lost it. he was being dense on purpose. acting like he couldnt understand why you would be so upset about him being in the wrong.
“yeah but your not just “fan servicing” them! your acting like your ready to give yourself up how can i trust you?!” burrying your face in your hands, tears poured out your eyes. you couldnt care less if your makeup got messed up, or how appealing you looked. you just wanted some space.
intak stepped back from you. it was obvious from the look on his face that he was trying his absolute hardest to understand where you were coming from. instead of trying to apologise, persuade, or simply give up, he kissed you on the head.
“i love you, and it hurts me to see you upset like this. ill quit the fanservice just for you babe. i didnt think it would make you this upset but i guess i didnt think hard enough.”’ pulling away from your head, he guided your hands from your face down to your lap. “i would never leave you for one of those girls. you are the prettiest, smartest, kindest-”
you giggled. intak loved to praise you but sometimes it would catch you off gaurd. especially in moments when there was hostility in the air.
“thank you takki.” your insecurities faded away when you thought a bit harder about intaks words. you were dating a boy whose feelings for you felt real and were real.
intak sat down beside you on the couch, pulling you into a welcoming hug. his lips pressed against your cheek. “how about i make popcorn and we watch movie?”
you two did a bit more than watch a movie so intak could truly let you know how much he loved you 😉
as a child, you were always insecure over your smile. and it followed you all the way into adulthood.
when your adult teeth started growing in after your baby teeth fell out, they grew in a bit more out of shape than other kids. your mom tried to assure you it was supposed to look like that and overtime they would look more natural. but that never happened.
kids would make comments saying you looked like a dinosaur and you grew into a habit of covering your mouth anytime you would smile or laugh.
sadly, growing up your family didnt have much money to pay for braces. but now as an adult you had all the money you ever wanted and needed. and also, a very kind, supportive, and loving boyfriend, shota.
but he made it quite clear where he stood on you getting braces. which wasnt the quite same as how you felt.
“but you look beautiful the way you are! i love your teeth..” he looked at you with big eyes, and scooted toward you in the backseat of your uber.
the crack in his voice almost made you feel bad for getting the braces. but, it wasnt just so you could feel “pretty” it was to also feel confident everyday. to live without whispers and comments on your mouth.
you chuckled at him. “well, i want it done. then i wont look like some silly monster.”
“you dont look like a silly monster. and no one has perfectly normal teeth! mine make me look like a bunny rabbit.” shota pulled his lips with his fingers so you could get a good look at his array of teeth. sure they werent perfect, but they werent nearly as crooked as yours.
“thats not fair sho, your teeth look better than mine. and a bunny is cute, getting called a dinosaur.. isnt.”
shota fell silent for a moment. you thought it was because he couldnt argue back or think of anything else to say. until he finally spoke up with a softer tone of voice.
“i just dont get why you want to change yourself for other peoples gaze. especially someone who isnt dating you. i want them to think your ugly!” he paused for a moment to think about his words which obviously came out wrong. “no i mean- if you’re too pretty to them they will want to date you! but you are the prettiest woman to walk planet earth!”
you giggled at his way of words. real smooth. “what your saying theres prettier girls in space?”
shota gave you a dorky grin at your stupid joke. “sure, whatever.”
you smiled back at him. he pulled you into his lap and kissed you. leaving a trail of kisses on your head and cheeks. “dont get the braces… for me?”
it was something you really wanted. something you thought you needed. but when you took shota’s words into consideration, you felt a bit childish. you didnt need to change for other people. you already had the best boyfriend you could possibly have. you didnt have a reason to be attractive to other people anymore, since in shotas eyes you were already gorgeous.
thinking about everything gave you your answer. you werent gonna change. and you never will. especially for someone who wasnt your boyfriend.
“okay i wont.” your boyfriend let out a squeal in delight before kissing you again. the look of happiness on his face made your answer all the worthiness.
his fingers pryed your mouth open so he could get a look at your teeth. “what are you doing you weirdo?!” you giggled in between his fingers.
“getting a look at the beauty of your teeth.”
how cheesy. but not as cheesy as all the popcorn you two were gonna eat at home as a tribute to the braces you were no longer gonna get.
bra shopping was never fun. anytime you bought a bra you felt like a pubescent girl getting her very first training bra. and it especially wasnt fun when jongseob had to tag along with you.
he seemed to also act like a pubescent boy who cant contain his laughter in a victorias secret. definitely not what you would expect from a 20 year old man whos as mellow as him.
as you tried to find yourself a bra that wouldnt be too big, and still cute jongseob was pondering over near the mannequins showcasing some of the bras. probably giggling, or embarrassing himself.
after what seemed to be an hour, you finally found a section of the store that had bras that would fit you. the training bra section for pre teens.
a sales woman walked over to you with one of those annoying smiles, and high ponytail that looked like it was gonna rip her hair off her her any moment. she reeked of perfume.
“hey love, do you need any help?” she asked you, her voice sounded high pitched and she was talking to you like you were a child.
“no. im fine, thanks for asking though.”
you flashed her a tight lipped smile. you attempted to go back to looking at the bras and hoped she would just go away, but she wouldnt.
“wheres your mom? are you lost?”
you knew you appeared tiny but you didnt think you looked like a child. considering you had a coach bag, lululemon tights on, and a full face of makeup. you werent curvy by any means but any child that looked like you would feel concerning.
“im an adult.” you laughed. the womans face went beet red and her jaw dropped. she smiled at you nervously before apologising. “im so sorry my love, i didnt mean to.”
you smiled at her again and let her know it was fine. after she left and you picked up a few bras, you went to find jongseob. who was chatting with some woman in a revealing shirt, displaying her chest perfectly. talking to your boyfriend.
if the day couldnt get any worse that really pissed you off. from the being mistaken for a child due to your flat chest to your boyfriend cutting it up with a woman whose body looked a lot more appealing to men than yours did.
after you could thankfully pry him away from the girl by giving him a little “lets go.” sign, you two checked out. you were hit with the hot summer air, the sun blinding you and jongseob immediately. as the scorching hot sun rayed down, you quickly loaded into the car.
“so what did you get?” jongseob asked. his fingers reached for your bag, swiftly taking it out of your lap. you couldn’t stop him due to your eyes being busy on the road.
“oh nothing. just training bras.” you grit your teeth. you couldnt seem to get what happened earlier out of your mind. it felt dumb to be so offended at a silly mistake. it wasnt intentional, or some sort of way of teasing. but the realness of the situation almost made you feel worse.
jongseob didnt understand why you said that and passed it off as a joke with a raised brow. “oh wow, never heard that one before.” he pulled one of the thin bras out of the bag. he eyed it carefully before giving his input.
“babe. why did you get this cheap, thin, unsexy thing.”
you didnt know how to respond except for to grip the steering wheel harder. if only he knew. but of course, he didnt.
“well i had to shop in the preteens section so there wasnt much options.”
he chuckled softly. “nice one.” did he really think your reality was a joke? did everyone think of you as a joke? was not being curvy a joke?
jongseob stopped laughing immediately. his face was dusted red as soon as he realized that you weren’t playing. “oh. im sorry. i thought you were kidding.”
“do i look like a child?” you asked him. your voice cracked. you didnt want to sound like an idiot but the incident from earlier kept weighing you down. you turned to jongseob who was making a weird face, with no context on why you would ask he was confused. “babe do you really think i would date someone who looks like a child?”
that wasnt the answer you wanted. it was a simple “yes” or “no” question. it almost felt like he was beating around the bush.
he sighed and placed the bra back into the bag. “no you do not look like a child. not having d cup tits doesn’t mean you look like a child where did you get this from?”
you pulled into the driveway of your shared apartment and broke down at the wheel. finally telling him the events of what happened at the victorias secret today.
once you were finsihed explaining, jongseobs facial expression softened as he pulled you into a hug. tears stained his thin beige shirt but you didnt care, you just needed him.
“lets go inside okay? maybe show off these bras for me?” he pushed a stray hair out of your face and kissed your head.
you giggled softly “but you said it was unsexy.”
“but you can make it sexy, cmon.”
he grabbed your hand to help you out the car, your bag in his other hand. he pulled you into a hug walking you up the stairs. you wouldnt had thunk that a miscommunication would had led you to have a bonding moment with your boyfriend. but thats just who he is.
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