Writers live a thousand lives before they die.

TW: Suicide, drugging, feeding tube.

The doctors diagnosed Addi with severe depression and anxiety disorder. She has to be watched all the time now. The doctor said she is showing signs of being suicidal. Her size has decreased tremendously due to a lack of nutrients. The tube is helping out with that. Kara throws the sedatives in with the blended-up food to keep her docile enough not to do anything stupid.

Addi is never fully there. She's barely sitting up. Barely speaking. Any chance she gets to imagine her death, her mind takes it. She wants to die. She wants the drugs to be over. She never wants to see Kara again. She never wants to see anyone again.

Kara steps over the threshold of the basement, a small smile on her lips. "Good morning, love, how are you feeling today?"

"G'away."

"Don't be like that, Addison. I'm trying to help you."

Addi grits her teeth, finding the strength to sit up in her bed. "I-I don't want your help." The tape for her feeding tube is off of her face, it's been tampered with.

"Didn't I tell you not to touch that?"

TW: Drugging, needles, doctor, controlling villain.

Addison hasn't slept in days. Her eyes are bleary. She has been fighting the drugs. She won't eat. She won't talk. Her hand strays to the ink on her neck almost as often as the blinks. All-day, she stares at the walls. All day, she cries.

Kara can't touch her. Her sad little pet won't allow it. She won't take pills. She looks like she might collapse at any given moment. She's down.

Kara reaches for the phone, dialing the WPO doctor. The man picks up quickly as if he had been awaiting the call. "Wild Pets Organization Healthcare Department, how can I be of assistance?"

Kara chews her lip, feeling sadness inside. "It's my pet. I don't know what's happened to her."

"Can you describe her symptoms?"

"She won't eat, sleep, or obey me. This started a few days ago. She's refusing the drug dosages and she won't let me get near her."

"Is she talking? Using her words to tell you what's wrong?"

"She hasn't spoken in days," Kara breathes.

"I see," the doctor mutters. She hears him leaf through papers. "If you would like some assistance, I could send a few of my people over to administer a few anti-depressants as well as sedatives in order for you to get closer. We can also install a feeding tube for the eating problem."

She winces at the thought of her precious little thing being held down. Even so, this has to be done. Addi could die. "T-that would be great. Please come as soon as possible. I can't bear to look at the state of her much longer."

...

"These nice men are going to help you get better. Don't fight them please." The four orderlies surround her bed quietly. She barely notices them. She can barely feel her anger. Or submission. She can barely feel her will to live. All life has gone from her eyes. She is a prisoner. And she knows that now.

A hand snatches up her wrist. Addi weakly tries to resist. "S-s-stop," she whispers. A sharp pain invades her arm. A needle. Addi realizes what these men are here to do. They're here to make her nice and sleepy to be Kara's plaything again. They have succeeded.

Addi's mind blurs. She tries to stay upright but she can't. The drug makes gravity heavier. The world swims before her eyes. She is pulled into Kara's lap once more. "N-no. I-I-I don't want it!" She screams. "G-get away!" She fights as long as her limbs will let her. They grow heavy. Her senses fade. She once again slips into that state of dreaming just before sleep.

Needles keep getting plugged into her. She barely flinches at each. Her eyelids only flutter a little. They shove a tube into her nose and she feels it in her throat. She only thrashes some.

Kara runs her hands through her little dove's hair. "There, there, little one, don't be scared. Doesn't that feel much better? You don't have to worry about what's real and what isn't. It'll all mix soon enough."

TW: Abuse, drugging mention.

"Why is h-he here?"

"I want you to be mine forever, he's going to make sure that happens."

The strange man carrying the leather bag enters the house. His appearance is stormy, his personality matches. Kara guides him over to Addi's place on the floor.

"I-I-I haven't b-been bad..." Addi pleads, backing up.

"Oh, no, you pretty little thing. He's not here because you've been bad. He's here to make sure you stay mine."

The man kneels down on the floor, opening his bag and retrieving tools. They look like tattoo machines. She can't remember how she knows that. But why would there be a tattoo machine?

"Where do you want it?"

"Anywhere on the neck would do. I want my name in big letters," Kara insists.

She's planning to tattoo her name on Addison. The very idea makes Addi almost suffocate. She wants to obey Kara, why does this bother her so much? The choices she gets to make, can't she choose not to do this. Then she realizes it. They weren't choices at all.

"I d-don't want it."

Kara looks at her with fury building in her eyes. "What did you say?"

"I-I-I don't want it."

Kara is taken aback by the defiance. Addison was doing so well. No resistance to her touches. No resistance to taking the pills. What was so wrong that she would refuse a pleasure of Kara's? "Now you listen here. We can either do this the easy way, you sit still for this nice man and let him do his job, or we can do this the hard way. I'll drug you up until you can't move."

Addi swallows hard. The tone in her master's voice churns up fear in her stomach. She hates the druggings. Even more after the party last week. The only option is to sit still.

But this isn't a choice. None of it was. It was just fear of what might happen if she didn't obey. All along she had the feeling of control. Now she realizes she has no control. She never had control.

"I'll sit still."

Kara smiles. "That's a good pet."

Where there would have been pleasure at the praise, there was only pain. Addi once more felt scared. She felt alone.

TW: Abuse mention, noncon drugging mention, alcohol mention, abuse.

"I-I-I d-don't remember anything," Addi chokes out. She shivers in the towel she's wrapped up in. Kara always keeps her house shockingly cold, getting out of the shower is always a challenge.

"I know you don't, dove. It's probably best it stays that way." Kara wrings out the wash cloth in her hand, making sure it's warm.

Addi doesn't like it when water gets on her face in the shower. Kara always cleans it up with a wash cloth afterwards. Addi certainly had to get used to undressing in front of Kara but when Kara drugged her up for a few times before bathing her, she didn't much mind afterwards.

"What d-did they do to m-me?"

Kara looks her poor pet over. Bruises and scrapes line her body. The guests were by no means gentle with her after the sedation fully kicked in. Pouring alcohol down her throat and watching her try to stand. Kicking her, hitting her, pinching her. Slapping her and telling her not to fall asleep. She dozed off only a few times but enough to get bruises on those adorable, rosy cheeks.

Kara starts to wipe away the dried tears, alcohol, and blood from Addison's face with the soft, warm, cloth. The pet whimpers softly with pleasure. "Nothing, Lovely. They did nothing but have a little fun."

"F-fun?"

"Yes, fun. That's what your purpose is. Entertainment, ownership, amusement, pleasure. And you're doing the best job I've ever seen."

Addi smiles softly. "Thank you."

"Of course."

"But the bruising. Why did they hurt me?"

"We find pain amusing, doll. It's your job. Your purpose. Pain is good. Hurting is a good job."

"Hurting is a good job?"

"Yes, hurting is a good job."

"Hurting is a good job," Addi breathes. The concept is foreign but now a main focus. Kara rubs her forehead with the warm wash cloth. Addi moans in pleasure.

TW: Noncon drugging, alcohol, abuse.

Addi can definitely feel it now. The corners of her mind are growing dim. Her senses are going out. She no longer has any more worries about her situation. Only warmth that coils in her huffing chest. Everything is very very funny. Her fingers tingle as she giggles on what she believes to be the couch.

Someone sits next to her. A smile is wide across Kara's face. "How are you feeling, you pretty little thing?"

Addison leans into Kara's hand as she strokes her cheek with a gentle thumb. "F-f-fff-fuzzy."

She frowns in frustration at the struggle of speaking under the influence of so many sedatives. Kara only smirks. "Aww, you're so sweet when you're like this. It's okay. You don't have to speak. Just relax for now. The fun is about to begin."

The ring of the doorbell makes Addi jump, eyes widening as she's slightly tugged out of the numb state. "Oh, dear, it's only our guests, don't be afraid." Kara lulls her pet back into her adorable, dreamy state. "Stay right here, I'll be back."

She leaves Addison on the couch, racing to the door almost as fast as her heart. Her guests stand on her doorstep, smiles on their expectant faces. She ushers them in. "Welcome, Addi is right over there. Be gentle, she's still getting used to the sedatives. In a few minutes, she should be completely out of it."

Kara smiles with much pride as the guests creep over to where her very own pet mumbles unintelligently. They pet her head, Addi responds positively, leaning into the touches. She honestly probably thinks it's Kara who is stroking her hair. This afternoon is going to be very amusing.

...

Addi moans as her back is scratched. It feels heavenly. Someone wipes the dribble from her chin, being gentle not to irritate her skin. Time seems to be irrelevant. She can barely open her eyes.

The poor pet can hear so many voices at once. It's unusual yet familiar at the same time. So many hands poke and prod her, feeling pleasurable yet painful at times. Sometimes someone will pinch her. She'll cry out, whimpering.

Someone lifts her up. Strong hands hold her under her arms. She's too tired to resist. Addison shakes her head childishly. "N-n-n-no-no," she pleads.

"Oh hush, don't fight us," a harsh male voice comes. Addi is set on her feet. The hands let go and her knees buckle. She falls to the ground, yelping in pain. Laughter erupts around the poor pet. What a spectacle she is. What a circus animal.

A strong scent enters her nose. A bitter substance is forced down her throat. Alcohol is drowned into her system in bulk. She tries so sleepily to get away. The sedatives have zapped her strength and spirit. There's nothing to fight with.

Laughter is all she can hear. She drops to the floor again, her clothes coated in the intoxicating drink. Nobody touches her for a while, too busy getting second rounds. The time allows her mind to quiet again. Her body relaxes like it never happened. The panic evaporates. She gets a few moments of peace.

She's gently lifted off the floor, her senses reeling. Repositioned in someone's lap, she lets her head loll. Her ears make the noise blurry. She starts to drift off in the body heat. Sleep seems so close. So sweet.

A startling slap comes across her face. "You better stay awake. No sleeping."

Addi cries. Tears roll down her cheeks. The people coo to her, remarking at the cuteness of her sorrow and distress.

The afternoon goes on into the night. It's torturous. It's pleasurable. Addi hates it and loves it. She can only feel what's going on. Alcohol fills up her system. She can never really tell what's happening.

Then, the laughing fades. The guests disappear. Addi is lifted off the floor. She recognizes the soft hands. The sedatives are wearing off slowly. Kara smiles down at her as she carries the poor pet bridal style. "You did such a good job."

Kara marches her pride and joy down to her basement room. Addi is set down on her bed, drenched in drinks, sweat, and tears. Kara gathers the mess into her loving arms. "Hush, deary," she coos.

"N-no. N-n-no s-sleeping."

"It's okay now. You can sleep, precious. You're safe."

"N-no slee-sleeping," Addi mutters, a hot tear rolling down her cheek.

"Listen to me, you're all drugged up. You're not thinking straight. You're safe. I'll clean you up tomorrow. For now, get some rest. It's been a long day. You did so great. The guests were so impressed."

"G-guests?"

Hey guys, I've been MIA for a while but I'm back. Enjoy.

TW: Noncon drugging,

Addi knows there was something special about today. Kara's in such a good mood today. She hasn't given Addi her morning dose of relaxers. Addi's aware of her emotions and surroundings, that's how she knows there hasn't been the first drugging today. This usually means the drugs are gonna come in bulk.

Addi rests her head on the armrest of the couch. Kara paces around the room, cleaning up stray items and straightening up her home. Something's definitely up with today.

"Is someone coming?" Addi mumbles.

Kara smiles at her lovely. "A few people, my deary. Since you're being so cooperative, I invited some of my friends with common interests. I want to show you off. You're doing so well, I might as well show it."

Addi offers a nod, taking a deep breath. She let the sigh out deep and slow, drinking in the few moments of sanity she has. She appreciates the praise from her master, smiling softly. She gives applause often now. Addi enjoys obeying. She enjoys the attention that comes from being submissive. She enjoys the freedom from the shock collar.

"Well, Love, the guests will be here soon, I'm going to the kitchen to get you some water, okay?"

Getting water for Addi is a sign to the poor pet. The drugs are about to come. "Okay."

Kara enters the room, drugs and water glass in hand. She seats herself next to the pet. Addi sits up to be level with her master. Kara hands her the medicines and cup, offering an encouraging smile. "Go ahead, you pretty little thing."

Addi stares at the pills in her hand, then looks up at Kara. "If you don't mind me asking, w-why so many now?"

Kara smirks at the question, happy to answer. "Well, pet, these guests need to be impressed. And you're cutest when you're nice and sleepy for me. Do you understand?"

"N-not really."

"The guests need to experience your full potential. Hands-on is a way to describe it. They'll be able to maneuver you in any way they like. It'll be such fun, lovely. But, the drugging is also for your benefit in a way. I wouldn't want you to be fully conscious as all of these activities go down. That would be just cruel."

Addi gulps, a worried expression crossing her face. "Oh, don't be scared, you pretty thing. You won't remember much. Just take the pills and it'll all feel better. I promise. You might even enjoy it."

She nods hesitantly, downing the medication. There's no going back now.

"Good job," Kara praises, stroking Addi's hair and pressing her down onto the sofa. "Just relax now, let the medicine work. The guests will be here soon."