olga

Albert Witzel • Silent film actress and dancer, Olive Ann Alcor , 1920

second up. johns so tired. he dont got it in him to top yoko, clearly. listen to their noise collab from 1970. thats clearly the work of a temporally transplanted nonbinary c4t (cis + dysphoric mtf) from 2022, forced back in time by evil means.

third up. the get back documentary. its just 8 hours of terrible situationship. look into pauls eyes when they talk. thats not the look of a bottom. and the way john looks at him is SPECIALLY not toppy.

fourth up. i get the impulse to want paul to bottom because hes girl pretty and has a HUGE ass and a nice voice for moaning BUT! john is the ones whos always going insane in that specific way that can be helped by fully relinquishing control through the anus. a lot of anal sex is a ritual of desastibilizing power and borders, of dissolving the top and bottom, becoming a single thing together, and it just seems to me like John would absolutely love being dissolved. and paul would love dissolving him. again. that look in his eyes

First off, I don’t care about incest, and I’d never call someone a degenerate. Obviously. But also…

I’ve also been a horrifically abused teenager, pushed to my breaking point by incredible amounts of pressure and torture (which I promise I’m not saying hyperbolically; my body’s kept quite the obvious score). I too have lost control for one instant, at my literal lowest point, causing my greatest fears to come true. And when that happened, I too had no ability to cope with the way my truly abysmal self-image seemed to be completely correct and justified. I had literally spent a decade under an absurd amount of stress because I was terrified that I was a monster, and everyone around me treated me like one. And yes, as soon as I did something monstrous, I lost everything I ever loved or cared about, and saw no possible way for myself to ever be happy again. And unlike Amy Dallon, I wasn’t a well-off white girl.

This isn’t an uncommon story for any marginalized person who’s grown up in an abusive household. Amy’s not special. Her trauma doesn’t give her dispensation to kidnap someone and rape them for days. I feel like it’s reasonable to say that? It’s possibly the lowest imaginable bar, and she plays limbo with it.

And that’s the point. I find Amy deeply compelling and even sympathetic, but that doesn’t mean I don’t also find her repugnant. I feel like making excuses for her, using euphemisms for her rape and torture of Victoria, mocking anyone who criticizes her for it it, etc. just flattens and lessens her as a character and a person. Why’s it gotta be one or the other? She’s a good character because she’s a self-fulfilling and externally fulfilled prophecy of monstrousness. Reading about someone like that was so important to my development as a nascent trans lesbian struggling with my own monstrousness, real and enforced.

Like, I think a lot of the discussion around Amy Dallon is about how she's so EVIL, right? She was born wrong. She's a PERVERT with PERVERT FETISHES. She's an evil fucking parasite in the Dallon family who ruined their perfect, ideal, (white) nuclear family. Look at like, the sheer amount of fics that have Amy rape someone, violate someone's autonomy as a fetish, transform their bodies, rape their minds, do a weird balloon/whale sex thing. She's just inherently evil and perverted!!! And that's just straight up not true. She was abused. Pretty horrifically, honestly. Not just from her family, but the nature of being Panacea as a CHILD is like. Straight up psychological torture.

And then like, the nature of powers is that you take these traumatized teens and give them guns, right? Taylor got a gun, and she was adamant not to become a school shooter... and then joined a gang to work out her anger issues. Victoria used her "gun" to commit extralegal violence and manipulated her sister into covering it up. Amy was so so so determined to never ever ever use hers. And what I'm looking at is a girl who was in a pressure cooker, who was tortured by two members of the slaughterhouse nine, and then immediately went on the run after having her mental problems surgically targeted. Victoria walked up to her, and her finger twitched. That's all it took.

1, I feel we are all missing the part where the author didn't agree to become a full time physical and emotional caretaker. She did not come into the relationship knowing she would be. She was shoved into the role without knowing or agreeing to it. Not ONE conversation where it was like "hey this is gonna be hard I will be unemployed and emotional needy" was had. Which is necessary. Like extremely

2. People that are freeloading assholes AND disabled exist. To be clear I AM NOT SAYING TRANS WOMEN ARE MEN I AM JUST DRAWING THE DIRECT PARALLEL AVAILABLE IN MY LIFE WITH THIS NEXT STATEMENT. This is what my dad did! He broke his leg, quit his job, refused to search for another one, and was a shithead when my mom asked for assistance in anything. He had a whole ramble to me at one point that my mom told him to pay 25% of the rent because it "makes him look bad." I lived with him. He did things all the time that he "couldn't do" because he didnt want to work and was enjoying freeloading. This is not a gender locked behaviour. Regardless of what you may think, people DO do that to their partners. Everyone saying that its awful and terrible to compare a trans woman to a man is all well and good, and it was definitely out of line, but the behaviour pattern 100% is something that people of all genders do.

3, everyone saying the puppygirl is seriously disabled, unless some INSANE edits were done to the article before I read it, are speculating. Anxiety is not so often such a debilitating disorder that you cannot wash dishes. Everyone saying "shes autistic" has no confirmation of this. They are speculating because they are CONVINCED there must be a reason. She is definitely not physically disabled. And also, she is in active treatment her partners are paying for and if that treatment is not helping nobody can communicate that other solutions are needed but her. Believe it or not people are supposed to improve with treatment, not get worse, and you're supposed to find alternatives if treatment is NOT working.

4, the puppygirl coerces the author into sex. That is rape. Like nothing further to say here coercing someone into sex is rape. Telling someone they need to communicate better with their rapist (especially when theres an in article attempt that goes "I tried to communicate, she burst into tears and made me the bad guy multiple times") is insane

5, the authors gripes truly never came down to "grr grr my partner DOESNT DO DISHES" it came down to the fact being unable to hold a conversation with your partner without you becoming the villain and having all the domestic labor hoisted onto you while unable to so much as make a small criticism of behaviour without it turning into a tearjerker where your partner goes "you hate me and I should leave forever!!" And I hate to tell you this but thats not something disabled people just inherently do. In fact, as a physically disabled person, that's something abled people have made me do for them!